If you are in the shoes off brigade

[Halfastoneextra]

If you invite someone to your house, say as an evening guest , here is the scenario:

The guest has made an effort to dress up for the evening, say a nice dress, updo, jewellery etc. She turns up at your house where you ask all guests to take their shoes off. This guest turns to a carrier bag she has on her, and withdraws a pair of very nice shoes that she wishes to wear with her dress. They are not stilettos, so won't damage any wooden floors. She shows you the soles and explains they are specially clean ie have not been worn outside and have been wiped down to make sure they are spotless. She says she wishes to wear them as they are part of her outfit and she does not wish to be discomforted by having to go barefoot.

Would you acquiesce. If not, why not?

I think it's extremely rude to ask guests to remove their shoes. I hate this silly fussiness.

In winter, Norwegians will arrive at any do carrying their indoor shoes in a bag; they regard outdoor shoes inside as a mark of barbarism. Which it is.

I'd think you were nuts and say no. I wouldn't believe you that they'd never been worn outside. We have carpets throughout and no pets. I don't want your grime thanks. How funny you dress up with matching shoes to go to a friend's house.

I'm from a culture where shoes inside is considered the height of rudeness though!

I used to be a shoes off person, then I got a dog, then another dog.

No matter that I clean their paws after a walk or a garden trip, they shed hair , dust etc from their coats, so no, I would not expect anyone to take their regular shoes off downstairs.
However if they did, I could lend them some cleaned washed slipper things .

I do sometimes miss that pristine house of old .

Ok, I didn’t realise you actually did this. I guess I’ve never been so over involved in my outfit to someone’s house I’d do that and I’m comfortable being barefoot.

we are actually a strictly shoes off house. The rugs and carpets are cream or stone. But I’d never ask a guest to and will let them use their own judgement. I also welcome friends dogs in and don’t bat an eyelid. As ultimately it can all be cleaned and making people,feel comfortable is more important to me than avoiding the cleaning effort.

I’ve only encountered one person who did it. She did it when she got new carpets. She soon got over it though and stopped.

that's different if its the culture no disrespect intended.

@Crumpetdisappointment

why?

@LuckySantangelo35 just my opinion,

I think there are so many bloody irresponsible dog owners around who let their dogs shit in the street and not pick it up and it gets traipsed all over the pavements. If this wasn’t such a problem I wouldn’t have nearly as much issue with people not taking their shoes off before coming into my house.

Culturally shoes on is unacceptable, I am Chinese.
My brother and another wealthy friend always have brand new slippers in various sizes available that the person can then take home with them. I have indoor clogs that I take with me.

How do you decide whose culture is worthy of accepting you must remove your shoes? Only if your hosts have brown skin, or ancestors who emigrated from a different continent? What if your white hosts said “oh no, it’s our culture to take shoes off indoors, so we must insist you do.”

Right, so if I bring a pair of shoes which are squeaky clean (to the point I would offer to eat off the soles) - what is the difference between these and a pair of slippers? Caveat being the shoes aren't stilettos etc that potentially would harm your floors?

@Isthisexpected

Bit of cheek to take of rudeness while being rude about outfit choices and calling people you've invited to your house liars

@Viviennemary

nah have you seen the state of the streets?! Dog shit, spit, etc can all be on the floor - gross! Not wanting trace of that in your house is hardly silly fussiness

I personally always respect what the hosts wishes are even if I actively don’t see the point because it’s their home.

Shoes being shoes mean they are likely to have been worn outside even if cleaned.

If the shoes have never been worn outdoors then most households would treat them as slippers or indoor shoes = fine. Simply saying that shoes you wear outdoors but have wiped the soles of are clean doesn’t count. It’s the same as the (broadly) South Asian and Middle Eastern cultural practice of using a different hand for eating than for wiping your backside. Both hands are washed with soap and water after said backside wiping, but it’s about the notion of cleanliness.

This is my thinking too.

Whenever I go to someone's house as a guest, I always take off my shoes at the door unless they specifically say I don't have to (which is very rare because IME most people keep shoes for outside). i think it would be really rude to walk dirty shoes into someone's house. Asking to wear special house shoes as a guest is weird (and I would be raising my eyebrows) but I'm sure would be ok with most people as long as they looked really clean.

I would say no. The rule is no shoes.

Don’t be so vain.

i actively avoid walking in dog shit, i dont know about you @LuckySantangelo35

i have been in and out of people's houses in my role, no one would expect me to take my shoes off, in fact it would go against health and safety to do so.

I'm really surprised by how many people think it strange to bring a spare pair of shoes to wear to a friend's house! My friends and I don't normally do this, but it's not unusual either. Maybe it depends on where you live and whether you walk. But I walk to all my local friends and if it is cold, wet, muddy, uphill then I don't want to wear the same shoes to walk that I want to wear at a party!

A few people mentioned dogs inside. I have to confess I wince slightly when friends bring dogs into my house but don't feel I can say anything. They are not good at wiping their feet and never take their shoes off however mucky they are.

My whole flat is carpet (not my choice but we're not allowed to put down hard floors due to lease). Therefore I walk on the carpet in bare feet/ socks when I get up from my bed to go to the bathroom in the night.

Carpet is hard to clean. I really don't understand how anyone can feel hard done by that I ask them not to traipse pavement dirt, mud, possible traces of dog poo onto my carpet that I then walk on in clean feet out the shower...

I don't think there is anything wrong with being vain. In fact when I look at quite a lot of people who have let themselves go, I think more vanity would be a good thing.

I like to take care of my appearance and I take pride in it. People often compliment me on it and I enjoy seeing other people who also like to look good/smart/interesting/presentable.

I think I have just derailed my own thread.