Why aren't people supportive of a child wanting to join the military?

[321gogogo]

Just off the back of another post.

My youngest (14) is very clear about his career path. He wants to join the Navy and train to become an engineer.

We are fully supportive of this, as we are of his brother who is looking at law or IT.

I was surprised to read of so many people saying they wouldn't support their child if they wished to join the military and I was wondering why the negativity.

Again people commenting who don't have a clue. Without military and wars, you would not even be alive today fgs. Some of you commenters need to give your heads a shake.

The armed forces is a fantastic career move. Would much prefer my children following our footsteps than to be dregs of society, someone stated that prisons are full of veterans? Link? No thought not. I only know one of my ex serving colleagues who has PTSD from active duty but he doesn't regret signing up. He's proud to have served and we all are.

I on the other hand have civvie friends and family who have never served and have PTSD. My next door neighbour was held at gun point in a newsagents and beaten so badly she was never able to return to work. My cousin has PTSD from being burgled at knifepoint in her own home.

PTSD isn't just linked to military. Anyone suggesting paramedic work, police, teaching and nursing as a better career is deluded as it's far more dangerous. You only have to look at all the workforces striking over conditions to see it isn't safe. Not all military are in the front line armed to the teeth or returning in body bags like posters previously are suggesting.

Military set you up with pride, skills, education, experience that quite frankly you can't buy anywhere.

How many people on here have jobs that pay you to travel the world, pay you to participate in sports, provide stability? Very few.

So very well said.

@SherlockFones
someone stated that prisons are full of veterans? Link? No thought not.

Because it was incorrect. I posted a link correcting that showing that veterans are actually 30% less likely to be in prison than non veterans.

I don’t like being called an irresponsible parent by “letting” my son join the military in two months time. He is nearly 21. I can advise him. I can lecture him. I told him I didn’t want him to get a fast car. He did. I told him I didn’t want him to get a motor bike but he did. I’m not particularly keen on his career choice and if I think about it too much it makes me feel sick. However I would never stop my children following their passion or joining a career that they want to do. He has good A levels, he is kind, he is polite, he doesn’t hang around town centres causing problems, he isn’t sat in his room gaming or gambling all night, he isn’t creating lots of babies or sitting on benefits. So yes there are a lot worse choices in life. Infact I’m proud of him. Might not agree with him but still proud.

Again people commenting who don't have a clue. Without military and wars, you would not even be alive today fgs. Some of you commenters need to give your heads a shake.

The armed forces is a fantastic career move. Would much prefer my children following our footsteps than to be dregs of society

Are those the only two options? Military or dregs?

And I have plenty of experience, both of DH being posted to the Middle East for months at a time - as do the DC, obviously - and of the effects of a military life on the lives of people very dear to me.

It doesn't matter that I wouldn't want my dc going into the military. It really doesn't. I'm entitled to my opinion and experiences. There are other jobs I wouldn't want or encourage them to do as well.

My dad didn’t want me joining the police or being a tax inspector. Both good careers though.

I thought about joining the military - both my parents were in the Forces - but I didn't like all the moving around when young and I am also a bit bad at obeying orders.

Ironically, I did spend a lot of my 20s travelling and moving. But settled now.

And you can't join the Forces when you get older - even though I am sure I have some of the skills they need.

I am also a bit bad at obeying orders
I think this is another factor contributing to the lack of people willing to sign up, ie people in general are not as compliant, less likely to reflexively defer to authority figures

@Barannca my Husband is in the Army and because of the financial stability he's been able to offer, I've been able to find a career that I love and would no way have been able to take the career risks I have to get here otherwise. We have moved a lot, one of my children loved it and the other not so fussed but we have been able to comfortably buy the house we wanted so they can feel settled during secondary school. We are all resilient and independent but very supportive of each other.
My Husband definitely thinks for himself, is commended for speaking out when he disagrees with something and has saved us thousands being able to turn his hand to anything with our cars and houses so definitely not limited in his creativity. He's had all of his engineering qualifications funded, travelled the world and despite what others have said about aggression, I feel 100% safe with him and all of his colleagues I've met. Anyone I've met has had the best sense of humour, is so down to earth and I feel proud living the life I do. Some people will always have shit tinted glasses, there are pros and cons to every lifestyle and career, you just have to make your mind up for yourself.

My DH isn't 'filled with pride' for being in the forces. He's a senior officer.

It's a job. He's good at it and it pays well. It will also provide a good pension.

However, the downsides for him with 2 young children and a wife shouldn't be minimised. He makes huge sacrifices being away Mon-Fri and they're not always worth it to him.

Being in the forces is a job that you do to earn a wage. It has its pros and its cons and those are different for different people. What one person sees as perks are negatives to another. Can't stand all this pride, we're so much better than you because we served crap. It's a job.

@Barannca have you any experience of the military (in the last decade) my husband has been in since we married, I now earn double what he does, I assure you, my career has not been sacrificed, the military you describe no doubt exists in some areas still but is a rather dated perception (though it is not without its faults). We own our own house, DH commutes (and gets his fuel paid for, money towards mortgage, wraparound childcare paid for and a non contributory pension) I have an excellent career, kids go to an excellent school. It's completely transformed our minimum wage lives from before he joined and enabled us both to forge excellent careers, he has done more humanitarian tasks than he has defensive.

Our son wants to join up and we fully support him.

Of course at the end of the day it's a job, nothing wrong with people feeling proud of what they do though- I'd say that for any job. If the sacrifices aren't worth it to him he could always leave, the decent pay and pension is probably worth it to him.

They drove the taliban out so girls could go to school (the aftermath is politicians fault but let’s not go there). I have friends who felt very strongly about helping those girls

You do know the history of the Taliban, don't you? They, alongside Osama bin Laden, were trained by the CIA to fight the USA's proxy war with Russia in Afghanistan. They were taught a goobledigook version of Islam, hence the idea of not allowing girls to go to school, which totally goes against Islam.

Don't base your knowledge of the British Army (and some others) on outdated 1950's war films, Dad's Army or It Ain't Half Hot Mum. That is not how they work today. On frontline roles and in training, serving members have autonomy either individually or in small groups. That is what you will find in the US, French and Ukrainian armies today.

You really should give a our head a wobble and ask yourself why are you able to live in a free country whilst others potentially lay down their lives for you.

The absolute ignorance of posting this about the British armed forces. Utterly clueless.

If a Senior Officer issues an order, can you say "Is that wise, Sir?"

I wouldn't my DB is in the navy pressured by my DF who wasn't in the armed forces I was also pressured I passed all the tests but failed the medical thank god. It's like fancy prison to be honest there's minimum service periods , your notice period is a year. If you decide you don't want to do it you can be jailed , then there's the risk of death of course.

It's so rigid. My DB has been at sea now for 6 months he misses out on seeing his DS who doesn't really have a bond with him. He missed going to my DFs wedding. If a close relative dies even your parent you aren't allowed to go back quickly they do an onboard funeral thing He misses out on so many things. Honestly there's not many positives

If you are from poverty and it's a choice between the armed forces , poverty or prison. Choose the armed forces if you have the ability to get qualifications and ability to get a career don't do it.

Someone compared the job as a nurse to being in the armed forces. No I could leave my job tomorrow if I didn't want to do it and not be arrested. Not the same in the military.

Someone upthread said the pay is crap. DS1 is 28, he earns £38k a year. He’s a vast amount of money saved in ISAs and owns a very nice car outright. He’s travelled the world, both for work and pleasure.

When DH was in the RAF we absolutely did not sacrifice our children’s education. We didn’t move once they went to secondary school. Their health, happiness and education was the most important thing to us. We knew they had ambitions and they were very set in what they wanted to do, career wise, so as parents we wanted to do our utmost to make sure it happened for them. And it did.

DH wasn’t the brightest bulb in the box when he was at school, he’d be the first one to admit that. He learnt so many skills in the RAF. He used his resettlement wisely, even though it was lockdown and a lot was cancelled, and as a direct result got qualifications to go with his transferable skills which meant he got an excellent job when he left. He’d never be doing what he is now, or earning the money he is, without the RAF.

It's like fancy prison to be honest there's minimum service periods , your notice period is a year. If you decide you don't want to do it you can be jailed

This so all rather dramatic, most people I know have left with much shorter notice periods due to obtaining a job so being released early. The 1 year settlement period is actually quite useful and comes with a healthy budget to help you pay for new qualifications, training, it comes with a lot of workshops to support you transition (always room for improvement in this area). There's often a lengthy leave period at the end too (which catches people out due to tax implications!)

Do you know anyone who has actually been jailed for wanting to leave? I don't know anyone, mental health is treated much better in the forces now (again, still lots of improvement to be made) but if you need to leave, you can, and when you do there is quite a lot of support to access.

And actually I know a female sgt who left with about 6-8 weeks notice (can't remember exactly but remember it was very quick) due to childcare reasons, she was a single parent, obtained a new role and was released almost immediately.

Ok still if you have an emergency so can't get back quick enough you can be punished for it have shore leave taken away . If you have any kind of creative independent thinking mindset it will be stamped out. Someone in the isle of man recently got arrested for going AWOL granted from the army . it's shit to be honest going for months and months without seeing your own children. I guess you have to have the right temperament for it , I certainly don't and would probably get locked up by the RMP.

If a Senior Officer issues an order, can you say "Is that wise, Sir?"

We used to go on holiday with my dad's Wing Commander. After several beers they'd usually start arguing about my dad's "interesting" approach to following orders, apparently dad had many opinions and the Wing Commander's frustration always spilled out with drink. Didn't stop dad getting promotions or the joint holidays/friendship though (the latter lasted until my dad's death and hes still in touch with me/my mum). Dad did 30 years and then walked into a very well paid role in an Oil company. I don't think he ever regretted it for a second.

I have an 8 year old who wants to join the Navy. He's been convinced since he was 5 or so and given his personality, we'll support him if that's what he wants when he's old enough.

When you say that your DH drove community nurses around in a 4×4 in the snow, did he do that off his own bat or was it organised military duty?
I'm a community care worker living next to the British Army's biggest Garrison in the world, and it's never been suggested that we could get help from the Army. So just wondered if this was an actual thing.