Why aren't people supportive of a child wanting to join the military?

[321gogogo]

Just off the back of another post.

My youngest (14) is very clear about his career path. He wants to join the Navy and train to become an engineer.

We are fully supportive of this, as we are of his brother who is looking at law or IT.

I was surprised to read of so many people saying they wouldn't support their child if they wished to join the military and I was wondering why the negativity.

@Patapouf
Well let's hope you never need protection from invasion.
Have you been reading some new words on the internet and have put them together because it makes you sound clever? Neo-imperialist policies? Government sanctioned prostitution?
You need to get over yourself or go and live in a country where they have no armed forces - here is a list for you:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_without_armed_forces

Good on you@321gogogo for supporting your DCs - don't let the screaming hysterical people here put you off - you are doing the right thing as a parent

@follyfoot37 thanks for saying I sound clever 🤓

Just in case Putin decides to do something like invade through Eastern Europe.

Tanks give an edge. If used properly.

Sadly, not clever enough to understand sarcasm or respond to the other points in the post

Because we’ve lived in relatively peaceful times for 80 years and our country has not been directly threatened in that time. The world is changing though, and we’ll need our military.

i’d support DD2 joining. I don’t think DD1 has the right personality to thrive there.

Because we’ve lived in relatively peaceful times for 80 years

There was a civil war in the UK 25 years ago.

All of this.

@follyfoot37 I didn't really see any points in your post unless you want a response to your instruction to go and live elsewhere?

With regards to invasion, get a grip and google pacifism if you really can't get your head around my rationale for not wanting my DC to die or kill others for a career. I do not support military force in any capacity and I'm sorry that offends you. Are you like those weirdos in the US that consider the military to be near deities???

A member of my extended family wanted to join the Army when he was a teenager. This was at the time when British soldiers were coming back from Afghanistan in body bags on a weekly basis. His parents flatly refused to support his ambition in any way, and he wasn’t allowed to join cadets etc. They told him that when he turned 18 he could do whatever he wanted, but until then he could forget it. He’s now a police officer.

Society would break down if everyone listened to the careers advice via MN. There would be no doctors, nurses, midwives, police, teachers, social workers, armed forces, transport etc. We’d all be working in IT, financial services, possibly law depending on the thread, and gig economy zero hours contracts in retail for those who didn’t get into an RG Uni.

OP there is no denying the very real dangers as opposed to other roles but I’d think highly of someone who said they’d joined the armed forces and have worked with a couple of ex-military in regular roles. I would think it’s more dangerous day to day joining the police right now. Let’s hope we never need them to properly defend us but I’d be thankful we had properly trained and willing people to do it. I had the impression the British armed forces were well regarded with respect to the training they receive.

Good luck to your family.

The Army isn't just front line infantry. There are plenty of support roles in the Army that aren't as exposed to danger as front line infantry.

Because I'm a pacifist.

Because it will always take more than it can give.

Because it ruins lives.

Because it removes agency.

Because they don't always understand the ramifications.

Because they'd be happier in another job.

Because it's not a job, it's a wholesale lifestyle.

Because you might never undo the repercussions.

Good lord, so many comments from so many people who have zero experience and just go by what they read online.

DF did 22 years and left into a stable career, now happily retired and has been an absolute rock to me my whole life. The calmest person you could meet. DH has done more than 22 years and still going. Very different to DF personality wise but has gone from not many prospects as a teenager to excelling in his career. If DS wanted to join, I would support him every step of the way. As a parent, that’s what you do. You don’t control their lives. You let them make their own decisions and you support them in good and bad times.

I've done 17 years in the army so far, currently work in a training establishment (tri-service). Biggest apprenticeship provider in the UK. Even our trainees who leave service during training, return to their communities with better life skills than they joined with. This is our contract with them.

For the majority of people, their life before the armed forces is what makes them susceptible to MH/PTSD, that is way more formative than their service.

Lots of myths on MN about the armed forces. Weirdly, first hand experience is frequently dismissed on here.

Patapouf · Today 07:17
Are you joking?
Why wouldn't someone be supportive of their child entering a profession that could get them killed?
Or where they may have to kill other people at the behest of a stupid government that often has neo imperialist foreign policies.
Military is government sanctioned prostitution. I would never encourage or support my children selling their bodies to the government as cannon fodder.

I'm sure that there would be a lot of sympathy for you and your opinion on Remembrance Sunday at Horse Guards

That's pretty unfair. I'd say the military attracts men who are likely to be aggressive and misogynist, not that the military makes perfectly nice men into offenders.

Maybe they don't want their child to kill other people or risk being killed?
I can't believe the question's even being asked tbh.

Because when my partner died whilst serving in the forces, they covered up what happened with regard to the accident and lied extensively to cover their own backs. It was awful. I absolutely do not want my children to dedicate themselves to a career, where they are expected to put their life on the line, and see horrendous things, but are given so little support or care when the worst happens.

Being an army brat, served myself as did my DH, I fully support anyone who is considering a military career

Good lord, so many comments from so many people who have zero experience and just go by what they read online

Pahaha - exactly. DH is RAF, and so are many of our friends. We have a very happy life, and he has a great job. No issues here (nor war zones).

What an absolute load of bullshit.

DF was in the Forces. Sat behind a desk for most of his life doing project management. Occasionally in the bunker.

All that paperwork scarred him for life. Getting best value for money and dealing with MOD bureaucracy

@Genvonklinkerhoffen Yet, if you read the posts, most people with first hand experience are the ones saying don't do it.
I trust their first hand experience.

I'm a Ministry of Defence civil servant so I work with Military.
Most are Officers but not all. They are sat at desks, writing business cases & performing audits, managing projects just the same as we civil servants are. They are hybrid working like I am.
They are however paid at least 3 times what I am, they have degrees & professional development all paid for, they have their travel to & from work paid for, they goi skiing on work time at least once a year & pretty much choose where they want to be Posted to next.

I know it isn't like that in every force but blimey if I was 20 I'd join up!

You can't see why people don't want their children to be 'cannon fodder'?
You can't see why people don't want their children to be traumatised and permanently damaged from the horrors of war?