Why aren't people supportive of a child wanting to join the military?

[321gogogo]

Just off the back of another post.

My youngest (14) is very clear about his career path. He wants to join the Navy and train to become an engineer.

We are fully supportive of this, as we are of his brother who is looking at law or IT.

I was surprised to read of so many people saying they wouldn't support their child if they wished to join the military and I was wondering why the negativity.

The military is not one homogenous lump. Would I want my son to be a pilot in the RAF or a naval engineer? Or a cyber specialist in the army? No problem.
If he wanted to be a front line occupation, like a marine or para, I’d be more nervous! Although wouldn’t stand in their way.

The military was the making of me, I got a masters degree from it, and I barely recognise the lazy person I was before! My friends couldn’t believe the change.

unfortunately the armed forces is so small now, most people don’t know anyone involved and there’s a lot of ignorance. Thinking we’re all front line soldiers .

@Coyoacan do you know what the army actually does?

The British Army are helping to train Ukrainians at the moment, is that ok?

They’re training troops in Kenya to help prevent terrorist kidnapping.

They drove the taliban out so girls could go to school (the aftermath is politicians fault but let’s not go there). I have friends who felt very strongly about helping those girls

My DS wanted to join the army when he was 15 his main reasoning being he could join without needing any particular grades at GCSEs and they had just had the army recruitment people in school who made it sound exciting.. He was very emotionally unstable and would cry if I gave him even a small telling off and I know someone's son who was badly bullied in his first months in the army and he a very strong character before hand. For this reason we were against it and said we wouldn't sign anything for him to join. When he was old enough to join without parental permission he could do so. Lo and behold less than 3 months later he didn't want to join the army anymore

My son has wanted to join the military since he was 11. I took no interest at the time as I hoped he would grow out of it. Now late teens he has a start date. In the meantime he has got his A levels and worked in office and hospitality roles. He loved both initially and then became bored. I would never stop him doing his passion.

GyozaGuiting that's so true.
DH were having this conversation the other night.
He would not believe me the reduced numbers now compared to when he was in the army in early nineties.
It's quite sobering

I think being disrespectful is accusing someone of "shitty parenting" for not wanting their child to be in a war, which would mean 99.99% of all parents are 'shitty parents'. Have a look at yourself and Dinogeorge. I think it's narrow-minded of you to think that in order to be grateful for the free lives we have, that automatically means we have to want our child going to war. Give your head a wobble. AllThingsServeTheBeam sounds like a completely normal parent and person.

I would hate for one of my children to join the armed forces. Because it's not a life I would want for them . They could be stationed anywhere and will have no choice where they go. If they have a family, their partner would have to decide either to sacrifice their own career and their children's education to follow them around or to accept they won't see each other very much.
Also the armed forces are by definition authoritative organisations there isn't much opportunity to be creative ir think for yourself you have to follow orders.
Then if course even if the above is bearable it's dangerous. The purpose of the armed forces is to defend the country . They could be killed or even have to kill someone .

Peacekeeping and defending -

Somalia - British army personnel are currently deployed in Somalia to support 4 organisations; the UN, the AU Mission in Somalia, the EU and direct support to the Somali National Army as part of international efforts to restore security and stability in the region.

South Sudan - The UK has deployed nearly 400 troops to the UN Mission in South Sudan as part of our commitment to the pursuit of peace and stability in the country. It is one of the UK's largest operational deployments, with personnel providing engineering support at the UN's camps in Bentiu and Malakal, as well as a field hospital to care for eligible UN personnel in Bentiu.

Falkland Islands - The Falkland Islands are a dependent territory of the UK and will remain so for as long as the Islanders wish them to. British Armed Forces protect the Falkland Islands to de

I don't understand either. My dd is an engineer in the Navy.

You're a normal parent. But according to some small-minded bullies on here, you're practicing 'shitty parenting'. You couldn't make it up.

I would not want any of my children to earn a living by hurting or killing people.

Wow. How insulting. And uninformed. And nasty.

The shitty parenting refers to not supporting your child in them potentially wanting to do something career wise that you don’t agree with. But sure, write your own narrative. The thread is about being supportive of a child WANTING to join the military. It is shitty parenting not supporting them if it means something to them. It is shitty parenting trying to dictate what they do. Imagine your child said to you I really want to join the military and you said well I won’t support you in that. Geez.

Take no notice of the majority of comments on the thread. Clearly there are too many people reading fake news and have no experience of the armed forces nor support them whatsoever. Too many people chatting out their rear ends, never read so much rubbish in my life

I will be honest, I'm ex army (I was in a non combatant role). DH also ex army (high ranking). My grandad and Father were both RAF and uncle RN. DS is joining RN not sure what trade yet depends on his exam results. I wish I could have gone back in time and joined the navy instead, I loved the army but the navy are treated so much better and travel so much more depending on trade. They are the senior service for a reason and your DS is making a great career choice. I wish him all the best.

Yet most women on here are saying they wouldn't support their child joining the military. So are we all "shitty parents"? That's a normal position and I cannot imagine many mothers would want their child to. That is normal. It is not 'shitty parenting', on the contrary, it is responsible parenting.

If you had a daughter and they wanted to be a sex worker, would you support them in that? If you say yes, that makes you a true shitty parent. Good parents encourage their children away from dangerous careers. That, is being a good parent.

@Woodendonkey wow, can you imagine saying that about any other group of people?

I was in the armed forces, I got a masters degree from it. I am now earning a lot of money (top 10% earner anyway), because of the skills learnt in the military. But we’re all just thick eh?

Would you be ok with them joining a company that makes weapons?

The people wilfully ignoring what the British military ACTUALLY does and just saying ‘I don’t want my child to be a murderer’.

I was in the RAF for 10 years, I worked on humanitarian ops, helped train troops in Africa, and friends of mine are now training Ukrainians.

If Putin comes for us, you know who will defend you?

How dangerous do you think the military is?
And do you think that level of danger varies depending on the service chosen and the role undertaken?

A member of 2 Para versus someone in the Army Education corps?

Bloody hell. That’s quite a leap, going from joining the military to sex work!! Let’s throw in my DC wants to be a drug dealer while we’re at it. Or maybe a loan shark?

Well let’s all be grateful for all those irresponsible parents who allowed and supported their DC in joining the military. I’ll be sure to let the MIL know how irresponsible she was as a parent. My MIL whose heart probably broke each time he left, who has never stopped worrying but is fiercely proud of the man he has become. Somebody who has first hand experience of their DC doing what this thread is about

If you're female, fuck no. Male? Depends on which arm. Navy is treated better. Army is essentially cannon fodder for the base "lower masses". RAF is okay.

You said The shitty parenting refers to not supporting your child in them potentially wanting to do something career wise that you don’t agree with.

I want to know, is that a blanket statement? That you are a shitty parent if you don't support them in doing something that we don't agree with? Or is it only for the military? Because you made that statement. What else does it mean if you haven't put any caveats in it?

Lower masses? What do you mean by that?

I literally mentioned the thread two sentences later. The thread being about joining the military. My apologies I wasn’t specific enough in my first sentence. For your benefit: edit “The shitty parenting refers to not supporting your child in potentially wanting to join the military as a career because you don’t agree it with it”. Is that better?