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Original poster

Why aren't people supportive of a child wanting to join the military?

250 replies

321gogogo · 25/02/2023 07:02

Just off the back of another post.

My youngest (14) is very clear about his career path. He wants to join the Navy and train to become an engineer.

We are fully supportive of this, as we are of his brother who is looking at law or IT.

I was surprised to read of so many people saying they wouldn't support their child if they wished to join the military and I was wondering why the negativity.

OP posts:
Pillowwalk · 25/02/2023 14:14

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 25/02/2023 14:05

Why would it mean that?

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How would you not support their decision? Unless they're 16 or 17 they wouldn't need your go ahead/support to join up, just seems a bit extreme if you've been saying it to them all their lives. Wondering what not supporting it looks like just out of interest really.

Pillowwalk · 25/02/2023 14:17

MargaretThursday · 25/02/2023 14:10

@PuttingDownRoots
Broken ribs from... tripping over his own boots in his accommodation bet they've never let him live that one down!

I found it interesting. Ds when he was small (about age 4-10yo) wanted to join the RAF. Almost everyone he told turned to me and said "I'm sure you're discouraging it" with the air of that I'd be right to do so.
No I didn't. he had an ambition, and wanted to do it. I didn't see why I should be discouraging it.

As it happens he'd now prefer programming computers to flying planes, but if he was still aiming for it, I would be supporting him as best I could.

If he changes his mind there's very decent cyber training and opportunities now in the RAF!

maddiemookins16mum · 25/02/2023 14:31

Crikey, my DD (18 in April) is off to Raleigh in a few months,

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

SEN
AllThingsServeTheBeam · 25/02/2023 14:40

Pillowwalk · 25/02/2023 14:14

How would you not support their decision? Unless they're 16 or 17 they wouldn't need your go ahead/support to join up, just seems a bit extreme if you've been saying it to them all their lives. Wondering what not supporting it looks like just out of interest really.

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By telling them I do not support their decision. That I don't want them in the army etc what's so hard to understand?

Dinogeorge · 25/02/2023 15:08

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Unicorney · 25/02/2023 15:10

I mean realistically for some children their parents saying don't join up would be the incentive they needed to do just that! DH was in the military for his full 22, whilst I wouldn't be thrilled if DS decided when he is older if he wanted to I also respect that he is his own person and not merely an extension of myself nor are my wants more important than his when it comes to his own life.

Original poster
321gogogo · 25/02/2023 15:10

Thanks for all the comments and views people have on this

It doesn't change my mind though. DS2 has the right temperament, wants to travel, and has no intention of settling down till he's found a country he wants to live in (he's already said he won't live in the UK as an adult)

I'm not naive, I know that some people can be affected negatively. I was just interested in people's opinions

OP posts:
drivinmecrazy · 25/02/2023 15:21

I just thank goodness for all the men and women who chose to sign up.
My family have been military since before the Boer war, my DC and their cousin are the first heneration not to join.
I'm truly grateful to all of the parents here who have supported their children in these choices.
It's not easy. I saw the angst in my mothers face when my 16 yo brother asked her for permission to join. But she always hid her fear from him, showed him only pride.
DM knew what might lie ahead of him, but he was never 'cannon order' as some have described on this thread.
He got a trade, saw awful things in Northern Ireland, Bosnia and gulf war 1.
I'm glad that there are some of our children who chose that career so that my children won't have to.
We won't have national service because we have one of the most disciplined, best trained military forces in the world, largely because it is voluntary.
To chastise parents for supporting their DC in this career is wierd, strange and odd.

mafsfan · 25/02/2023 15:26

My DH is in the Navy.

I'll be doing everything I can to dissuade my DS from considering it.

It seems fine as a 20 year old. It's a pretty shit life for a 40 year old but we're stuck living this life because of the pension on offer in 15 years.

Coyoacan · 25/02/2023 15:33

I would never support any child of mine potentially being part of an invading army.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 25/02/2023 15:36

Shit pay plus the other reasons cited many times above so I would not encourage it as a career path. But would also not encourage other career paths where the compensation is frankly a joke.

That said If my children entered the military or other vocational careers I'd be proud of them and hope for their every success in their field.

Violinist64 · 25/02/2023 15:41

Our middle son is in the RAF. I could not be more proud of him. From the time he joined the cubs on his eighth birthday he loved all the parades and camaraderie. Camping was his favourite activity (l cannot think of many things worse than sleeping under canvas). I was not at all surprised that he chose a military career. In addition, he has spent many years as a cub leader, thus giving back to others.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 25/02/2023 15:44

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Shitty parenting? For not wanting my child to be involved in a fucking potential war?

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 25/02/2023 15:45

Coyoacan · 25/02/2023 15:33

I would never support any child of mine potentially being part of an invading army.

This. But apparently that's shitty parenting. This fucking place

Zuffe · 25/02/2023 15:45

Coyoacan · 25/02/2023 15:33

I would never support any child of mine potentially being part of an invading army.

But if that army was invading your country, raping, pillaging and throwing men, women and children - some still alive - into mass graves as is happening in Ukraine would you support them taking up arms and killing in defence? In fact would you do the same?

Original poster
321gogogo · 25/02/2023 15:50

Thanks for all the comments and views people have on this

It doesn't change my mind though. DS2 has the right temperament, wants to travel, and has no intention of settling down till he's found a country he wants to live in (he's already said he won't live in the UK as an adult)

I'm not naive, I know that some people can be affected negatively. I was just interested in people's opinions

OP posts:
theoldhasgone · 25/02/2023 15:51

Could it be the death

Dinogeorge · 25/02/2023 15:51

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AllThingsServeTheBeam · 25/02/2023 15:53

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Dear god. I don't want or need to explain myself to you. Yes I have first had experience which is exactly why I do not want my DC signing up. Thankfully neither would as they are just not interested at all. But I am far from narrow-minded. But thanks for your concern.

drivinmecrazy · 25/02/2023 15:54

AllThingsServeTheBeam I think you should count your lucky stars that not all parents think like you.
If they did then your precious child might find themselves conscripted.
Honestly you are so disrespectful of others on this thread.
You really should give a our head a wobble and ask yourself why are you able to live in a free country whilst others potentially lay down their lives for you.

usernother · 25/02/2023 15:55

So all the people who don't want their children to join the army etc - where do you think this country should get their defence forces from? Should it just be disbanded in case someone's child gets killed defending us?

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 25/02/2023 15:55

drivinmecrazy · 25/02/2023 15:54

AllThingsServeTheBeam I think you should count your lucky stars that not all parents think like you.
If they did then your precious child might find themselves conscripted.
Honestly you are so disrespectful of others on this thread.
You really should give a our head a wobble and ask yourself why are you able to live in a free country whilst others potentially lay down their lives for you.

I'm sorry. What have I said that is disrespectful. I personally, myself do not want my DC in the army. I am grateful to the armed forces,but that doesn't mean I want my DC doing it. My head doesn't need a wobble. Thanks.

Dinogeorge · 25/02/2023 15:57

drivinmecrazy · 25/02/2023 15:54

AllThingsServeTheBeam I think you should count your lucky stars that not all parents think like you.
If they did then your precious child might find themselves conscripted.
Honestly you are so disrespectful of others on this thread.
You really should give a our head a wobble and ask yourself why are you able to live in a free country whilst others potentially lay down their lives for you.

Exactly this. Enjoy the freedoms you have, thanks to the current military and the military of years gone by. Sadly other countries are not so lucky.

Coyoacan · 25/02/2023 15:58

Zuffe, your description of the war in Ukraine is what the UK military does all around the world.

I knew a man who was in the UK army in the Far East during the Second World War who told me that the UK army had also done everything we had been told that the Japanese Army did. It is the nature of modern warfare, pure evil.

Zuffe · 25/02/2023 16:03

@Coyoacan So the UK military is presently instigating rape as a weapon of war?
Transporting tens of thousand of children back to the UK to be assimilated as British?
Torturing women and throwing them into mass graves still conscious?
Shooting down passenger planes?

Are you just a bit dense or a Russian shrill? Which is it?