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Why aren't people supportive of a child wanting to join the military?

250 replies

321gogogo · 25/02/2023 07:02

Just off the back of another post.

My youngest (14) is very clear about his career path. He wants to join the Navy and train to become an engineer.

We are fully supportive of this, as we are of his brother who is looking at law or IT.

I was surprised to read of so many people saying they wouldn't support their child if they wished to join the military and I was wondering why the negativity.

OP posts:
Thesharkradar · 25/02/2023 12:29

I know it isn't like that in every force but blimey if I was 20 I'd join up
From your description it does sound like a great life, so how do we explain the fact that recruitment is nowhere near what it needs to be?

notimagain · 25/02/2023 12:32

QueueEtwo · 25/02/2023 12:21

I'm a Ministry of Defence civil servant so I work with Military.
Most are Officers but not all. They are sat at desks, writing business cases & performing audits, managing projects just the same as we civil servants are. They are hybrid working like I am.
They are however paid at least 3 times what I am, they have degrees & professional development all paid for, they have their travel to & from work paid for, they goi skiing on work time at least once a year & pretty much choose where they want to be Posted to next.

I know it isn't like that in every force but blimey if I was 20 I'd join up!

But to be fair MOD certainly used to be pretty much senior officer territory. unless things have really changed I'd caution reading too much of what goes on there to day to day life in the Forces elsewhere.

BigusBumus1 · 25/02/2023 12:34

KleineDracheKokosnuss · 25/02/2023 11:07

Because we’ve lived in relatively peaceful times for 80 years and our country has not been directly threatened in that time. The world is changing though, and we’ll need our military.

i’d support DD2 joining. I don’t think DD1 has the right personality to thrive there.

Errrr, the Falklands War, 40 years ago?

Two out of my 3 sons are aiming for the military. One is currently in the process of joining the Royal Marines and the other wants to be in the Royal Navy as a Helicopter pilot. Both officers.

I grew up in the military also, my father was a fighter pilot.

I think its a great career.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

cakeorwine · 25/02/2023 12:35

Thesharkradar · 25/02/2023 12:29

I know it isn't like that in every force but blimey if I was 20 I'd join up
From your description it does sound like a great life, so how do we explain the fact that recruitment is nowhere near what it needs to be?

Because people don't realise that a lot of the Forces is not about being front line troops but is actually a lot of other stuff that supports the front line troops.

The RAF has 466 aircraft - and a lot of these aren't fighter aircraft

The RAF has a strength of 29.000 people.

So I would suggest that the RAF is a pretty safe force to join. Lots of opportunities

cakeorwine · 25/02/2023 12:38

Army: 75,000
Navy : 29,000
RAF : 29.000

There are 72 ships in the Royal Navy. Not sure if that includes boats.

assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/1137992/UK_Defence_in_Numbers_2022.pdf

America12 · 25/02/2023 12:40

Away from home for months
Could get called up / killed.
Top two that spring to mind ???

cakeorwine · 25/02/2023 12:42

America12 · 25/02/2023 12:40

Away from home for months
Could get called up / killed.
Top two that spring to mind ???

Depends on the type of role you do.

Is being an Army cook dangerous?

Thesharkradar · 25/02/2023 12:47

Because people don't realise that a lot of the Forces is not about being front line troops but is actually a lot of other stuff that supports the front line troops
OK, but why don't they realise?
surely the army, being in need of more people joining up, would be able to sell themselves in a way that incentivises more recruitment?
I'm not disputing what you say, I just feel like it doesn't quite add up 🤷
Or could it be that modern culture is out of step with the discipline which is needed in the armed forces?

Paulrn · 25/02/2023 12:48

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Goodread1 · 25/02/2023 12:57

More than several years I attended the funeral of ex solder,
he was in his early thirties one of twin identical,

When my children's father was talking to his mother she mentioned her son was keen to join the Army,
My children's father who is intuitive knew instanly that if he did that, he wouldn't come come back home from service alive,
He told the mother try an persuade your son not to go on join the Army,

fyn · 25/02/2023 13:00

My DH is a soldier and has never been anywhere near the front line although he makes a big contribution. He has never been in a situation where he was at risk.

I think people have outdated ideas of the army/armed forces. The house we are in now isn’t the nicest however up until now we have lived in new builds. From later this year you have the option of married quarters, private rental that they pay for or buying your own house with an interest free loan for your deposit and having contributions to your monthly mortgage payments.

incitethismeetingtorebellion · 25/02/2023 13:02

Partner and I both have experience with the military. I would support my son or daughter if they wanted to join but I would rather they didn't. It's not just a job it's a lifestyle. It can take over everything and as my partner has discovered, once you're out it can be hard to adjust. Not always in a MH way but just that we see things differently. Even little things like words we use to describe things that other people don't recognise. Obviously if the kids wanted to sign up we wouldn't have a leg to stand on if we tried to discourage them anyway but I would make sure they understood that the reality of the life isn't just a massive jaunt round the world like the recruitment adverts make it sound. It's hard work, long hours, separation from family (my partner missed 4 of the first 7 months of my eldests life) and the potential to lose or be in a position to take a life.

Pillowwalk · 25/02/2023 13:06

There is a lot of ignorance around the role of the military, the differences between the forces and the opportunities available. Lots of young people are lazier than yesteryear also and as you need to be drug free that rules a lot out hah.

Sure there's more risk than other jobs when deployed to a hostile environment, but that's actually not that often. There are lots more things the military do, whilst of course you need to be aware of the risk and the potential that you'd need to perhaps engage in active warfare; depending on the branch, the force and what's going on globally at the time makes a big difference.

Engineering in the navy is great nowadays- fully funded degrees, the ability to progress rapidly if you so wish, chance to travel. Of course it's not for everyone, you are away from home a lot and long periods at sea isn't for everyone, but many also thrive and although there is a RoS you can leave quicker in some circumstances.

I was in for 12 years and loved it. Played netball around the world, spent time in a tonne of countries (including NY as part of fleet week which was a highlight), took part in ceremonials such as remembrance day, as a nurse I helped many personnel and helped train HCPs in developing countries, was part of the aid relief effort after the boxing day tsunami, have made friends for life and it really enhanced my career prospects now out, managed to save for a house whilst living for free at sea and cheap ashore. I wouldn't have fancied the army or RAF personally, huge range of personalities in the navy.

Not minimising what some service personnel go through and the poor aftercare, but it's thankfully not the majority and things have changed a lot since afghan.

Onnabugeisha · 25/02/2023 13:09

ehb102 · 25/02/2023 10:16

It's the PTSD I'd worry about. I don't have the stats to hand but about a third of the male prison population is veterans. Does the army attract criminals or does it make criminals?

It’s obvious you don’t have the stats to hand because what they do show is that veterans are actually 30% less likely to be in prison than non-veterans.

“There is some debate about the presence of veterans in the prisons of England and Wales but the most reliable evidence suggests there are 2,820 individuals making up 3.5% of the total prison population.
Using these figures, veterans are 30% less likely to be in prison in England and Wales than non-veterans.”
www.britishlegion.org.uk/docs/default-source/campaigns-policy-and-research/litrev_uk_vets_crim_justice.pdf?sfvrsn=6e0c84bf_2

ehb102 · 25/02/2023 13:13

Yes. It must have been a piece looking at violent convictions in one particular prison.

I'm actually on the fence about PTSD rates because I believe women get PTSD from usual life happenings - rape and sexual assault, child birth etc.

cakeorwine · 25/02/2023 13:46

Goodread1 · 25/02/2023 12:57

More than several years I attended the funeral of ex solder,
he was in his early thirties one of twin identical,

When my children's father was talking to his mother she mentioned her son was keen to join the Army,
My children's father who is intuitive knew instanly that if he did that, he wouldn't come come back home from service alive,
He told the mother try an persuade your son not to go on join the Army,

Really?

Are you saying that every single person in the RAF, Navy and Army does not leave the military alive?

I really must check on DF

cakeorwine · 25/02/2023 13:48

Thesharkradar · 25/02/2023 12:47

Because people don't realise that a lot of the Forces is not about being front line troops but is actually a lot of other stuff that supports the front line troops
OK, but why don't they realise?
surely the army, being in need of more people joining up, would be able to sell themselves in a way that incentivises more recruitment?
I'm not disputing what you say, I just feel like it doesn't quite add up 🤷
Or could it be that modern culture is out of step with the discipline which is needed in the armed forces?

The military could easily sell the military lifestyle.

My cousins seem to have a great life. Never been in a combat zone. Lots of holidays, opportunities, travel and a nice cushy desk job.

PuttingDownRoots · 25/02/2023 13:57

The injuries DH has got from his time in ar
my...

Knee damage from playing rugby
Broken finger from sledging
Broken leg from coming off his motorbike
Broken ribs from... tripping over his own boots in his accommodation

He has helped to set up hospitals and save people from floods. Helped organise the mobile Covid testing vans. Been to every continent. Gets extra leave to take his Scouts camping. Is using his learning credits to get disabled sports coaching qualifications.

Epicstorm · 25/02/2023 13:57

My husband loved his time in the military but neither of us wanted our son to go in for obvious reasons. Having said that I know of someone who trained as a dentist at the military’s expense and earns a fortune now he’s out.

America12 · 25/02/2023 13:58

@cakeorwine being an Army cook on the front line yes.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 25/02/2023 14:01

There is no way I would support my DC if they said they wanted to join up. Be it the army, navy or RAF.

I've made my feelings known their entire lives!

Pillowwalk · 25/02/2023 14:03

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 25/02/2023 14:01

There is no way I would support my DC if they said they wanted to join up. Be it the army, navy or RAF.

I've made my feelings known their entire lives!

You'd disown them if they joined is that what you mean by not support?

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 25/02/2023 14:05

Pillowwalk · 25/02/2023 14:03

You'd disown them if they joined is that what you mean by not support?

Why would it mean that?

Winterisalmostover · 25/02/2023 14:06

My relative, early 20s has been in the RN for nearly three years. Absolutely loves it. It was an ambition from an early age. Travelled the world and has enough saved to buy a first house. No student debts. School pals are loafing around on minimum wage while my family member has bought a brand new car and is far fitter and more mature than they are. There's tons of leave too. More young people should sign up instead of paying for, often, useless degrees.

MargaretThursday · 25/02/2023 14:10

@PuttingDownRoots
Broken ribs from... tripping over his own boots in his accommodation bet they've never let him live that one down!

I found it interesting. Ds when he was small (about age 4-10yo) wanted to join the RAF. Almost everyone he told turned to me and said "I'm sure you're discouraging it" with the air of that I'd be right to do so.
No I didn't. he had an ambition, and wanted to do it. I didn't see why I should be discouraging it.

As it happens he'd now prefer programming computers to flying planes, but if he was still aiming for it, I would be supporting him as best I could.