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Original poster

Why aren't people supportive of a child wanting to join the military?

250 replies

321gogogo · 25/02/2023 07:02

Just off the back of another post.

My youngest (14) is very clear about his career path. He wants to join the Navy and train to become an engineer.

We are fully supportive of this, as we are of his brother who is looking at law or IT.

I was surprised to read of so many people saying they wouldn't support their child if they wished to join the military and I was wondering why the negativity.

OP posts:
LakeTiticaca · 25/02/2023 09:17

I would suggest the military is a better bet for youngsters than county lines 😉

notimagain · 25/02/2023 09:26

I get the impression some here are looking at the PBI and the consequence for some of them of action in places like Afghanistan and claiming that applies to the whole military.

bellac11 · 25/02/2023 09:36

I think there are a lot of disingenuous posts here about not all military roles being involved in killing others.

Whether you are an engineer, catering, medical, logistics or whatever you are there supporting the work of your team and that includes the front line which are involved in killing.

From the end of the second world war, nothing we have been involved in has 'threatened the uk' so no one out there is fighting to protect me and my family, these are proxy wars. Even Ireland was not something that we should have been involved in albeit there were threats to civilian life at times.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

SEN
Commah · 25/02/2023 09:38

I wouldn’t support my child doing anything that was potentially dangerous and could lead to injury or death. Keep yourself safe and let other people take the risks if they want to.

kitsuneghost · 25/02/2023 10:02

The stigma?

Zodfa · 25/02/2023 10:04

I can think of two guys who had a long-term desire to join the military before signing up aged 18. Both of them got out as soon as they possibly could.

I think teenagers in particular are susceptible to a romanticised view of military life from films etc.

TheFairyCaravan · 25/02/2023 10:07

Commah · 25/02/2023 09:38

I wouldn’t support my child doing anything that was potentially dangerous and could lead to injury or death. Keep yourself safe and let other people take the risks if they want to.

What a selfish attitude.

Stressfordays · 25/02/2023 10:14

My brother went in at 16, it damaged him both physically and mentally by the time he came out at 32. He is a completely different person now and not in a good way. He is reasonably lucky though as he is still able to function and have a family. My Mum said the hardest thing she had to do was sign to let him go in at 16, she basically signed all her rights away.

My eldest wants to join, I've told him yes, you can but at 18. I'm not willing to sign him away like that.

Similarly, another poster has stated paramedics are at most risk of ptsd and injury at work. I was an ED nurse for a long time and fully agree. My youngest daughter is set on nursing, like her Mum. I tell her every single time she mentions it, please don't. Its not worth it. This career has damaged me massively and I don't want that for her.

RockingMyFiftiesNot · 25/02/2023 10:15

I would support them if they were adamant that was their career choice. There are many rewarding career opportunities It's not a career path I would actively steer my children down though.
Of the people I know who joined the military, one was killed and several more have long term PTSD, for example one has never got over killing other people and another saw his best mate blown up (and they've been out of the forces for 20+ years).

Beyond that, not being able to have a stable family life, being moved around a lot, starting over etc.

That said, I do know one person who hasn't looked back and had no major issues, but then he wasn't ever deployed to a war zone. You don't get a choice about that, he was just lucky.

ehb102 · 25/02/2023 10:16

It's the PTSD I'd worry about. I don't have the stats to hand but about a third of the male prison population is veterans. Does the army attract criminals or does it make criminals?

Hoppinggreen · 25/02/2023 10:18

For me it’s several things.
I have family who are serving/have served and I know the downsides for them and their families (although I know there are opportunities too)
Then there is the potential danger
Finally I don’t think that a lot of the kids who join young actually understand what they are getting into. At that age everyone thinks they are immortal and don’t understand that they may well get shot at/bombed etc.

usernother · 25/02/2023 10:20

My child is in the forces and I was very proud of her for choosing to do so. She's worked really hard to get to a senior level and is now on a great salary, with lots of paid leave and some flexibility to facilitate family life with children. They are well looked after and have good perks.

Donnashair · 25/02/2023 10:21

I think peoples experience, stories in the media etc colour their view.

Every year we are told of the huge toll on the mental and physical health of Military personnel, both past and present. We raise money through the poppy appeal. A lot of money every year and there still isn’t the help available they need between NHS services and charities.

I think a military career can open a lot of doors for people. But that isn’t the experience for a lot of people, I know, that served.

I know quite a lot of people who have come out and gone into low paid roles. Roles they could have been doing without military experience. HGV drivers, call centre staff etc. most people I know who have served all have anxiety/ptsd related problems and quite few are alcohol dependent.

My step brother left the army. He couldn’t cope in ‘civvy life’ he rejoined. He was then killed while on duty. While he was home everyone was very concerned he was going to harm himself. I don’t think he was well enough to rejoin, tbh. But he also wasn’t coping outside the army.

Between my own experiences and what I see regarding the huge toll it takes on people, I wouldn’t want my kids doing it. I would support them if it was their decision though.

FoxInSocksSatOnBlocks · 25/02/2023 10:21

Because it’s a death sentence. Even if you don’t physically die you’re mentally fucked up for life.

TheFairyCaravan · 25/02/2023 10:23

ehb102 · 25/02/2023 10:16

It's the PTSD I'd worry about. I don't have the stats to hand but about a third of the male prison population is veterans. Does the army attract criminals or does it make criminals?

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachmentdata/file/1028697/Ex-serviceepersonnelinntheprisonnpopulation2021.pdf

Around 3% of the prison population are ex military.

Authorisatingarchibald · 25/02/2023 10:26

You really can’t understand why people don’t want their kids to join the military? I can’t think of any job I would like my kids to do less and I would be extremely concerned for all the reasons people have stated and would extremely strongly discourage it

Mermaidmotels · 25/02/2023 10:33

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

What a ridiculous thing to say.
There are bad people in every job role. Obviously this does not apply to everyone serving in the armed forces.
Honestly the disrespect this country shows or military is disgusting. Often with very little idea about the sacrifices they make and how extremely hard they work.

Needanewnamebeingwatched · 25/02/2023 10:37

My daughter was in the Army Cadets from 13, then joined the Army just before her 18th birthday.

She was a tank mechanic for 8yrs and lived in Warminster for her whole career, she didn't see active service.

She has left but now has a very good job in the industry

JenniferBarkley · 25/02/2023 10:43

She was a tank mechanic for 8yrs and lived in Warminster for her whole career, she didn't see active service.

I bet the tanks did though.

cakeorwine · 25/02/2023 10:51

No problem if DS wanted to join the Forces. Come from a Forces family and have other family in the Forces.

Chances of seeing action is very low. Chances of injury very much vary between what area you join and what the level of action is. Cousin has told some interesting stories that haven't made it into the news about what the Navy has been up to. But being in a ship is very safe. Unless we have a Falklands style thing again - which must have come as a great shock and worry to parents of people in the military.

cakeorwine · 25/02/2023 10:53

JenniferBarkley · 25/02/2023 10:43

She was a tank mechanic for 8yrs and lived in Warminster for her whole career, she didn't see active service.

I bet the tanks did though.

Really?

Do you remember the last time British tanks saw active service?

We only have 1 tank regiment now.

Hoppinggreen · 25/02/2023 10:54

Needanewnamebeingwatched · 25/02/2023 10:37

My daughter was in the Army Cadets from 13, then joined the Army just before her 18th birthday.

She was a tank mechanic for 8yrs and lived in Warminster for her whole career, she didn't see active service.

She has left but now has a very good job in the industry

But at any point she could have been sent into a combat zone.
A lot of the military don’t see “action” but the potential is always there

MrsSkylerWhite · 25/02/2023 10:56

Because we didn’t bring them up to become potential cannon fodder.

cakeorwine · 25/02/2023 10:58

Hoppinggreen · 25/02/2023 10:54

But at any point she could have been sent into a combat zone.
A lot of the military don’t see “action” but the potential is always there

Show quote history

She could

But that's very unlikely.

I don't think British tanks have been in action for a long time.

JenniferBarkley · 25/02/2023 11:00

Why have them if no intention to use them?