What is something someone has said that is etched in your brain?

[WhiteNoiseMoreToys]

Mine is when I was 17, pretty self conscious and just finished being intimate with my then boyfriend.

We decided to get up and go out and as I sat up to put my top on he poked my belly and said “Christ, you could feed Africa with that tyre” it baffles me now, how brazen it was to just come out with it. But I was a size 8-10 and honestly I think I’m still confused 😂

Its one of those things that ‘pop’ into my mind at random times ans it’s gout me wondering what others peoples ‘moments’ are when they remember something someone has said that might not have significance, but will always be remembered.

And it sounds like he'd never been intimate with anyone else if he didn't know that there's there's much variation in genitals as there is in ears, eyes and noses.

You are perfectly normal and I don't need to see you naked to know that. Stupid little boy doesn't know what a woman looks like before or after children, big whoop. He was clearly shit in bed, so this must be a tactic he uses to get women to limit their experience so they'll never know what they're missing and what he can't do.

Do not let a stupid twat who couldn't satisfy a fleshlight ruin you.

I hope you just forgot to put “ex” in front of DH.

When my sister had her hen night we all went to my parents house to have a bit of champagne and wait for a limo, which had been organised by our parents as a treat. When the doorbell went, I answered it to my then best friend who declared; “Are you wearing that?!!!” I was clearly dolled up and ready to go out and felt so crushed. We’re no longer friends.

When I lost a lot of weight after doing the 5:2 the same ex best friend whatsapped me a lot of “fat pics” of me to show how well I had done, again I felt so self conscious.

Aged around 17, I got a job at a car hire company. I remember a red haired fellow came in to the office and immediately started to swing his imaginary golf club whilst high fiving the air when he got his faux hole in one. He then asked me if i can drive. I said no. To that he said, “Howd you get a job at a car hire company without a licence?” And waltzed out. Prick.

Mine was said by an ex, not unfairly - "you are fiercely independent, but sometimes you're just fierce". He may have meant it as an insult, but I prefer to think of it as a mantra for life - it's served me well until now!

Thank you for your message.

He was a horrible man, he did many terrible things to me during my relationship with him, but the comment about my Dad hurt the most.

Got everything I needed for university at Alevels, B in German. Called my German tutor- such a shame it’s not an A. I know my parents were very proud but don’t remember anything about the day apart from that.

Put on weight due to medication - father of a friend at church Do you know your face has got very fat? Yes thanks

In y6 a couple of the boys in my class saying to me "yerr we only like girls with plain faces" I had freckles, even more so in summer. It just stayed in my mind because even at 11 it hurt a bit but also a bit confusing because In my mind who likes anything "plain". Plain is boring

I’ll never forget my FIL making this horrible comment when me & OH (his son) announced our pregnancy with our much longed for baby.

“Oh great, another bloody grandchild we don’t want. More money we have to spend on birthdays & Christmas”

I’ll never forget it. such a horrible man. I have no contact with him him or MIL any more

I've remembered another one. When I went to show my stepfather my new outfit (skirt and top) he said to me 'It's supposed to show what you've got, not what you haven't got' -he was referring to my modest bust.

I have thought about this post for a couple of days. It has brought up sensitive, deep rooted memories of hurtful, cutting comments.

I have only posted a couple, but have many, many more.

My heart goes out to all of you who have been on the receiving end of a negative, toxic barb.... insult, abusive, controlled put-down. Does it make you stronger, braver, tougher? Not sure? It certainly makes you wiser. The older you get, you realise the toxic, small-mindedness of people and finally get to understand that it is NOT you........ it is their own insecurities, jealousies, short-comings, ignorance and spite that has tried to bury you with their grime and shit.

I thank those who have supported this post with your beautiful, kind words. It means such a lot.
Chin up (as my Grandmother would say). Be brave and proud of 'you'!

@ItsShiela How's this for 'females are only for appearance'.
I've always been rather underweight due to being autistic/ARFID. So twenty years ago, when I was a teenager, they misdiagnosed me with anorexia, which was probably common for autistic girls at that time. An adult male consultant psychiatrist trying to figure out why I was so food-avoidant advised me that I didn't need to starve myself, because "Men like a bit of meat on a girl."

....

....

What.

This didn't actually affect me that much, because I had zero interest in sex or boys at that time, I was only interested in books. My autistic self just totally failed to interpret his meaning. My brain basically returned: 'Error 404'. But in retrospect. What.

My STBXH after telling me he wanted to leave me after 14 years "as he'd met his soul mate." Me not seeing it coming and saying "but you still hold hands with me when we go out?" His reply? "Ah,but did you not notice that it was always you reaching for my hand never the other way around?"
He did me a favour as I hadn't realised how unhappy I was being married to him and am now a much better mum but those words still pop up now and again and make me feel such a fool.

When my then husband was having a very intense emotional affair I stupidly asked him what the other woman had that I didn’t, he replied that he’d never been in the company of an attractive woman before! I then asked him why did he marry me if he didn’t find me attractive? Apparently I took it all the wrong way! 🤷🏼‍♀️😤

My mum was not a nasty person but she seemed to say the wrong thing. I tried on a new coat for her. She said "it makes you look bigger than ever"! I was a size 14 and didn't think I was big. When I was a teenager I didn't get into grammar school like my brother. Mum told me about a boy from my school who became a teacher. She remarked "he only went to secondary school like you". When I sat my exams the results came out when I had started work in an office. She rang to read out my results. I said "I've done really well" she said "have you?"

When I was about 10 years old my mother told me the story that when I was born I didn't cry at first. While the medical staff were working on me although she had little energy left she told them to ' let her go".They didn't hear her or ignored her and I was fine. She said that a disabled child lived in the same street and she didn't want that.

She would frequently retell me that that story though my teenage years.

That is abhorrent. I know I'm a complete stranger but I'm genuinely sorry your mother did that.

So needlessly cruel.

Thank you @amusedbush other than my husband I have never told another soul until this morning.

This one isn’t etched as it literally only happened today but it may well be. I was scrolling through threads and came across one I’d previously commented on. I didn’t realise it was the same thread as it’s not on the most recent ones that pop up. Someone then comments on my comment telling me I’ve already said something similar earlier on in the thread! I’m completely taken aback that a) someone is noting that I’ve already commented in a similar way up thread and b) why do they f.*cking care enough to point it out to me in a sarky way. I wouldn’t have a clue who’s posted what, or when or how many times, so who the hell are they to know such things and think it’s appropriate to point it out? Anyway, this happened a few hours ago and I’m still somewhat fuming over being policed by some no mark poster.

" You will never amount to anything more than the likes of the check out girls in Tescos. "

Said by my step father after I passed all of my G.C.S.Es

My mum always said "you're old for a long time so don't try to grow up too quickly". Always stuck with me and I say it to my children now.

Glad to say poster has apologised so that will be the end of that. 🙂

@BellePeppa people can be awful on MN. I have been called a liar, accused of being transphobic, fat. I could go on. I fight back now but some I still think about. Friday night (wine night for others) is particularly bad so I keep off the threads! I have also changed my name after being searched and quoted from a totally unrelated thread. There are weird people out there.

From reading tbis it sounds more as an addition to you, not that you wouldn't be.

My Dad used to say some awful things, I remember when we were out and I must have been being naughty he said ' everyone is looking as they think you are handicapped'. He could also be very funny and do nice things, just must have had these horrible moments

From a (former) best friend, when I said I couldn't stay out late due to an early start at work the next day: you're a joke, everyone laughs at you behind your back... I was going through such a horrible time with mental health and this literally crushed me. I later found out that they had told everyone about my struggles, including really personal sensitive stuff. I no longer needed to guess why I'd been given the cold shoulder by people who barely knew me.