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Original poster

What is something someone has said that is etched in your brain?

707 replies

WhiteNoiseMoreToys · 19/02/2023 21:49

Mine is when I was 17, pretty self conscious and just finished being intimate with my then boyfriend.

We decided to get up and go out and as I sat up to put my top on he poked my belly and said “Christ, you could feed Africa with that tyre” it baffles me now, how brazen it was to just come out with it. But I was a size 8-10 and honestly I think I’m still confused 😂

Its one of those things that ‘pop’ into my mind at random times ans it’s gout me wondering what others peoples ‘moments’ are when they remember something someone has said that might not have significance, but will always be remembered.

OP posts:
LadyChatterlysLover · 21/02/2023 21:17

At work, everyone always tells me I smell really nice!

Snaketime · 21/02/2023 21:19

As a teen every time I brushed my hair in my room before going downstairs 'have you even brushed your hair?'

'I never thought a daughter of mine would like horror films and rock music'

In the girls toilets on my first day of secondary school 'did you see that girls hair, it looks like she's got a Bush on her head'

Bojoneedstogo · 21/02/2023 21:19

Soooo many. I really hold on to things..

my dad called me bacon cheeks as I had high colour as a teenager

at school they used to call me horse as they said I had big teeth. My dad used to repeat it & tell me it was character building

in the street or shouted out car windows on numerous occasions,, an arse like that should be hidden- tbf, it rivals any of the kardashian’s for size..!

and when I was 19 in my first proper job a director told me I was too smiley.. have never been smiley in work again!

1WomanWonder · 21/02/2023 21:27

Someone once told me...you always have a choice. I have gone back to that many times and it has always held true. It is the best gift I ever had.

MrsJaxTeller3 · 21/02/2023 21:29

These are all awful!
I'm gobsmacked.

Anyway my clever little nan once told me "don't try and save everyone, you might interrupt their karma" and that stuck with me forever.

Cuppsoupmonster · 21/02/2023 21:30

AngelinaFibres · 21/02/2023 21:16

And then my MIL came to visit and said " What a shame he wasn't a girl. So sad to have 2 boys". I look so ill in the photos I have no idea how she could have said that to me

Show quote history

My word you’re surrounded by some shit people! My MIL is obsessed with babies, how they came about, how they’re born, if they’re boys or girls. She struggled to conceive, didn’t have the birth experiences she would’ve liked, struggled to breastfeed, her babies were very small and I think she projects this all onto women who had better luck in one of those areas than she did. I’m 33 weeks with number 2 and apparently I’m ‘carrying oddly, very low down’, ‘not great at this pregnancy stuff’ because I had hypermesis for 3 months, and she seemed visibly disappointed when my placenta previa resolved itself Hmm

What is it about having babies that brings out this horrible streak in some women??

Cuppsoupmonster · 21/02/2023 21:32

Anyway probably the most profound thing anyone said to me is that happiness is a choice. It took me a while to understand it but when the penny dropped I really realised what they meant if that makes sense.

NickyT64 · 21/02/2023 21:43

Yesterday I was sitting here with tears streaming down my face as I read all the cute, funny things children said in very loud voices, mainly in changing rooms or public loos. Tonight I feel the tears are pretty close by as I read post after post of the most terrible things said to so many Mumsnet mums by truly terrible people. Very often close friends or family not even random strangers. I am so sorry. None of should have experienced anything like this. I wish people realised the lifelong damage even a ‘casual’ remark can have. We are all beautiful people and we need to start believing it.

Clarabell77 · 21/02/2023 21:48

WinedropsOnMoses · 20/02/2023 05:12

'If you finally leave him,I'll do absolutely anything to help you with financials amd childcare...If you don't...well,I'll still do those things but I'll be grumpy about it' 🤣

My awesome father.

He does sound awesome!

Nanna61 · 21/02/2023 22:00

Not words as such. A note stuck to my door in the nurses home by a nurse who just qualified in the set above me (early 1980s) "Get out now, while you patients are still alive". It hurt at the time, but, I have had a successful and very fulfilled career.
She is now a life coach ffs!!! I've read her story online, she was completely messed up. I suspect her behaviour was born of jealousy, I wasn't her only victim.

Clarabell77 · 21/02/2023 22:08

MadCattery · 20/02/2023 19:59

I am a practicing Buddhist. The monk from my local center was out with a friend of his, and they saw a woman who was terribly, extremely obese. The friend said “I am going to go tell that woman that she could be healthier if she lost weight” and he stopped her. He told her that the woman already knew she was obese and did not need a stranger to tell her, and confirm it yet again. He suggested that, if she wanted to say anything kind and helpful, to tell the woman that she is beautiful. That is something she might need to hear, perhaps as a first step to believing she is worth the effort to help herself.

Since he told that story as part of a lesson, I make it a point to tell people OFTEN that they are beautiful, or brilliant, or appreciated. Maybe collectively we can turn this around. In twenty years we will read women posting on mumsnet about the awful things their parents/siblings/partners said and then will add “but this person I knew told me I was beautiful.” Or glowing. Or clever. And turned them around. each of us has opportunities to make children feel valued, women appreciated, co-workers admired. And if ALL of us do, maybe we can change the world.

Love this

QueefQueen80s · 21/02/2023 22:08

I'm so sorry for everyone on this thread who has shared horrific words said to them. The sayer is the miserable, bitter one Flowers

happychops · 21/02/2023 22:09

My mum introducing 12 year old me to extended family members “and this is Happychops, she is my biggest mistake”. It was a comment I heard frequently growing up.😔

Disydoll12 · 21/02/2023 22:12

An ex when I was in my twenties, you have a big forehead. It's all I see in photos of myself and when I look in the mirror. Completely paranoid about wearing my hair back when I exercise, even now 20 years later.

Clarabell77 · 21/02/2023 22:17

WickedSerious · 21/02/2023 19:07

Mine's a bit odd.

When my grandfather was dying he told my grandmother that under no circumstances was she to close the curtains after he'd gone 'because sitting in the dark never brought anyone back'.
Six year old me thought it was the most sensible thing I'd ever heard.

Thats brilliant!

FineWordsForAPorcupine · 21/02/2023 22:21

Dumakey · 19/02/2023 23:08

'What you going to do? Slit your wrists?', Said by my mum during an argument, about 5 years after a failed suicide attempt 😡

You didn't fail. You survived.

Creamcrackersandricecakes · 21/02/2023 22:31

@Pallisers - thank you; we're trying to find a decent dermatologist for her. Our GP was worse than useless, unfortunately.

Rainbow21 · 21/02/2023 22:36

Two spring to mind:-
My dad when I got my Standard grade results - 8 band 1s (equivalent to A) and 1 band 2 (B). "How did you get a 2? You didn't work hard enough". Spent many years pushing myself to achieve perfection and made myself seriously ill in the process before realising it wasn't going to make me happy anyway.
In Primary School age 10, the music teacher stood us all in a line to sing when practising for the Christmas concert as someone was out of tune. She stopped at me and sent me out the classroom - I was later told to mime during the concert so as not to spoil it. To this day I won't sing in public and was mortally embarrassed - sadly I seem to have passed this to both my kids but we all happily sing out of tune together at home - sorry to my neighbours if you read this!!

HPD76 · 21/02/2023 22:43

When I was about 8 (I started my periods at 9, so was probably beginning to fill out a bit) my aunt told me to stop sticking my bum out like a slut and to tuck it in. So I started changing my posture, tucking my bum in and rounding off my shoulders, because she’d also said about me sticking my chest out (I was 8 ffs). Anyway, by my mid 30s, this terrible and unnatural posture had resulted in me doing something terrible to my back, I’ve had several operations and I’m partially numb from the waist down. If I’d spent my life standing properly, I’m pretty sure a lot of my problems could have been avoided.

FirstnameSuesecondnamePerb · 21/02/2023 22:44

Honestly, all these mothers comments.
I once had a conversation at work which went " would you ever get a job as a woman if your mother had to write you a reference". The overwhelming answer was no!
Having had my self esteem shattered by my mothers view of my looks, I have stuck fast to nothing but encouragement to my adult daughters.

Bergitte · 21/02/2023 22:47

Hmmm. Shortly after one of my baby twins had died suddenly at 4 weeks old, I went into the GP surgery for a check-up and the nurse piped up "well two would have been a lot of work". I will never forget!

BluesandClues · 21/02/2023 22:54

Two things, an ex boss told me once that he loved when I came into work as I ‘seemed to bring joy with you.’

Another friend told me she imagines me going through my days as a Disney Princess.

Whilst both things are twee, as someone who has suffered with some pretty severe mental health issues, it’s nice to know I don’t come off as an eternal grump.

kennycat · 21/02/2023 22:56

My ballet teacher suggested I had a few less roast potatoes on my Sunday dinner when I was perhaps 8.
I still absolutely love her and love dancing. I do, at the age of 41, have a restrict/binge eating disorder and am
severely underweight. I’m not saying this comment was the only reason but it can’t have helped!

SuffolkUnicorn · 21/02/2023 23:12

verabarbleen · 21/02/2023 19:33

"Go and play in the park like a normal kid" my dad... I was just shy. Sat in the tube slide and cried for ten mins and came out and said I played

Yep my mum told me I was an embarrassment because I was so shy and couldn’t take me anywhere yet never gave me any confidence

JustForThisOneTime · 21/02/2023 23:17

My dad when I told him I was just leaving to meet my friends and the time I'd be back: "I don't care".

He's been a decent dad (but a shitty husband to my mum) and I'm rarely at the receiving end of his selfishness or nastiness but even though I was about 20 that stung.

Some of the things my mum told me about my dad.

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