What is something someone has said that is etched in your brain?

[WhiteNoiseMoreToys]

Mine is when I was 17, pretty self conscious and just finished being intimate with my then boyfriend.

We decided to get up and go out and as I sat up to put my top on he poked my belly and said “Christ, you could feed Africa with that tyre” it baffles me now, how brazen it was to just come out with it. But I was a size 8-10 and honestly I think I’m still confused 😂

Its one of those things that ‘pop’ into my mind at random times ans it’s gout me wondering what others peoples ‘moments’ are when they remember something someone has said that might not have significance, but will always be remembered.

A few months back & on a night out with DH we'd ubered a late night take away to our hotel, as I was collecting it a random bloke walked past sneering "oh look the fat girls got to eat hasnt she"

Really stung. I'm not usually lost for words but I couldn't even think of a come back and just pretended I didn't hear. As vile as it was it's given me a kick up the backside to get back onto a health kick & I've since lost a stone, but I still hear his comment rattling round in my head.

What was it?

I was very tall for my age and remember being about 10 and going on a bouncy castle in a pub garden which was for under 12’s. Several other parents pointed me out and commented I shouldn’t be on the castle as was clearly over 12. I was self conscious about my height then and still am.

I remember David Attenborough saying when asked what his one message would be: 'don't waste anything'. I do think of this often and have been much more mindful and resourceful since.

I tend to remember the funny stuff.

An ex pleading with me not to finish with him said something like "one day you'll realise what a great guy I am and regret finishing with me, maybe not today but someday". 😂

“You stupid, vain little bitch”
DM.
we grew up very poor, it was horrible never having the right things. I had a job from age 14 & bought my own cheap shoes & clothes.
I’d bought a dye from Woolworths and dyed, or tried to, my camel coloured suede shoes black so I had some black shoes to wear with an outfit. I think it must have been disastrous judging by her words. I can’t remember what they ended up looking like but I’ve remembered those words for over 35 years.

”You’re useless. You’ll never amount to anything”
Her vile, abusive ex partner. I guess he was right.

When I got my first period aged 11, I came home from school n told my mum only for her to day "now there's 2 bitches in heat" - the dog was in season.
Also around the same time I decided to wear a dress with tights only for my mum to say "your legs look like tree trunks" - I didn't wear a dress again until late teens

I have a nice one. A few months after I’d kicked out my addicted and abusive STBXH, my children and I were beginning to come through the fog of the mental head fuck. We had a leak in a pipe, and the plumber who came to fix it was sitting on the sofa with me as he figured out the final invoice. He was really kindly, much older, just a sweet grandad type, and he randomly came out with, “you know, this feels like a really happy home”. I had to stop myself from bawling because that was all I’d ever wanted after the years of grief and stress. I’ll honestly never forget it, it just felt like a turning moment in our house where some of the toxicity had melted away.

'Sometimes I wish I could stick a pillow over your head so I can pretend I am having sex with someone attractive,'
He said it was fine as he was only joking.

‘Everyone needs a break now and then’

A so called friend saying "for every pound I've lost, I think you've put on" Thing is, she didn't look like she'd lost any weight, she's not a friend anymore. And my Mum telling me as a child that I still had the devil in me because I hadn't been christened.

Be wise, be secret and in the end you'll only have yourself that you can trust.

My mum came to visit, almost her first words were " my God, how much fatter are you going to get", I was a size 14, struggling single parent of 4. She died many years ago but I can never remember her without hearing those words.

"I know you don't like me, but that's life and life's a bitch and then you die"

Said to me by my dad in a rare phone call as we were very low contact. It sums up his efforts of being a parent pretty well. It turned out to be the last time we ever spoke. He died a few months later.

Now, no disrespect to your dad, but this kind of thing really, really, really boils my blood. Doesn't happen so much now, but it used to happen when I was a lot younger. Neighbours of my parents, and my aunts and uncles and their friends... They'd come to my house and say to my parents. 'I saw wibblywobblytimeywimeystuff yesterday. And she never spoke to me... so bloody rude.'

I mean FFS. What is wrong with this picture? They saw ME and I didn't speak. I used to say to my mum, 'if they saw me, why didn't they speak?' and she'd say 'you're the younger one - you're meant to be polite and courteous to older people and say hello to them.'

I couldn't get it through to it that I never actually fucking saw them. She just wouldn't have it. I was the rude one apparently.

“Wear black trousers and a black top, it’s slimming” for any occasion from my DM when I’d have loved to hear “you’d look lovely in a dress”. The only time I DID hear this was when I’d managed to lose a bit of weight, reinforcing the idea I’ve carried with me since childhood that you can’t wear nice things or look nice if you’re not thin. The best one is my SD saying “look at her knobbly knees” and her replying straight back “oh they’re definitely NOT knobbly!” So many upsetting and unasked for comments on my weight my whole life. Thing is I look at pics from my childhood and I might have been on the chubbier side but not the obese monstrosity I was made to believe I was.

‘Why didn’t you die’.

Wearing a fetching (I thought anyway!) vintage outfit I went to go and buy a tv for my newly acquired flat. Was greeted by young man who looked me up and down and said 'rentals are that way' and then more loudly 'but it doesn't look like you'll be able to afford it love, do you mate?' To his colleague. I was mortified and furious and like to think my lack of any future custom single handedly brought down Radio Rentals.

"I should have had an abortion when they recommended it"

From my own mother after she found out I reported her to SS for her very poor lifestyle choices that were affecting me and my sibling

Thousands wasted.

"Just because you choose to forgive someone, it doesn't mean it didn't happen - it did
It doesn't mean they were right - they weren't

It's not about them - it's about you choosing to not accept having anger and bitterness inside you, choosing to let it go because they are not worth it"

Has always stuck with me

An ex when I was 16 told me that I needed to get a grip because the world didn't revolve around me.

My aunty when I had my first child - we didn't think you'd be able to cope because , well you know what you're like! But you're doing really well and we're so surprised
My mum - I think you're a good mum but I'm a better mum than you.
My dad - you're such a pretty girl when you're slimmer.

I often wonder why I have low self esteem... 🙄

This really stuck with me and now I discover its true!
DS was 3 months old and screamed non stop. We struggled and an old relative said " it doesn't get easier, just different".
Our son is now 17 and that's stick with me all these years abd its so true!

Oh and and old boss - we were talking about Carol Vorderman and how she's lost weight and she said , yeah and madamepresident looks like she's been on the Richard Whitely one. This was to my face after just returning to work after being signed off for 6 months with depression, and the medication I was on causing me to put on 3 stone.

'Boring cow isn't she?'

I was about 11 and laughing (probably annoyingly, I'm autistic and spend my life getting it wrong) about being so much taller than my aunt. I was mortified, I absolutely idolised her.