WWYD here (my dog and pub related, name changed as quite outing).

[dogdilemmasagain]

For about 8 years I've had a good attachment to my local pub. I go in there 2 or three times a week. I live by myself and moved here not knowing anybody, all my friends live in my old hometown. I am now very close friends with the landlord and a lot of other people who go in there. It isn't about going out to drink alcohol, I could do that anywhere, It's more the social scene and feeling part of a community-Going in there is my only socialisation most of the time.

It is a dog-friendly pub, we're in a place where there are 3 dog friendly pubs and a lot of others that aren't, all quite close together.

I always take my dog with me, dog is now well-liked by all the regulars and the landlord absolutely loves her.

A couple have began coming in recently. One of the couple is absolutely petrified of dogs. They always sit near the bar, where I also always sit.

I am not keen on him for unrelated reasons although he's pleasant enough.

They're there most times I go in with little exception and obviously I can't predict when they'll be in or if they'll arrive after I arrive, although they're 9 times out of 10 already there when I go as I go quite late.

For this reason, since I learned this I have not been taking my dog in the pub at all.

This causes me a couple of problems. One, I don't like leaving my dog at home alone. I am not out for a long time, but dog knows where I am going as he's used to my routine. Dog absolutely loves the pub, everyone makes a huge fuss of him and I get such a forlorn look from him when I go without him. To none 'dog people' this may sound bizarre but I am childless and single, so dog is a big part of me and my life.

Two, I don't feel safe walking home without dog. He's a big dog and although very friendly most of the time, I've had more than one situation where things could have been potentially dangerous for me without dog (I was followed home once and he scarpered once dog reacted) so I really do not enjoy being without him. It's too close for a taxi to be feasible but still far enough away from my house for something to potentially happen, and quite an isolated route.

So recently I said to the landlord that I'd have to stop coming in, I don't feel I am being fair on dog and I feel I am compromising my safety. Landlord said he understood. Suggested I sit further away from the couple instead of stopping coming in altogether, but this isn't ideal, I'd still need to bring dog with me to the bar near the couple each time I wanted another drink, and also, I go in to chat to everyone and everyone I am friends with sits near the bar-I'd just be sitting on my own.

I told one of my friends in there about this too. Friend said that the man who's terrified of dogs hasn't come in ever before until recently whereas I am part of the furniture as is my dog, and I shouldn't be letting him make me change something that's important to me. Said 'If he doesn't like dogs, why can't he choose from the other millions of pubs in the country that don't allow them in, there's a huge 'Dogs Welcome' sign outside this one!'

FWIW there are several pubs within walking distance of one another that don't allow dogs.

Hm. Well I definitely don't want to cause someone to be scared and unable to enjoy their evening. But does my friend have a point? Am I being a pushover? I know dogs aren't as important as humans which is why I made the decision in the first place.

I am more than aware of MN's general opinion of dogs too

This. There is no need for any personal reasons or excuses.

I agree with your friend. If someone is scared of dogs and for some reason still chooses to go into a pub where there’s a sign saying “dogs welcome”, they should be prepared to encounter dogs and deal with it.
You shouldn’t feel obliged to leave your dog at home.

If I were you, OP, I’d go in early for a few times, so you’re already there when this couple arrive. They’re choosing to come into your space then. Might make you feel more comfortable.

They are voluntarily going into a pub that clearly states that dogs are welcome. If you stop going it doesn't mean they won't encounter a dog whilst they're in there.
I think you and your dog trump the new couple. They are free to attend a different pub if they choose to that doesn't allow dogs.
Stand your ground! I say this as someone who isn't particularly fond of dogs!

Your dog sounds sociable and content and calm, I'm assuming? You're clearly being very respectful of this mans feelings and maybe your dog being nearby could actually go someway to helping with his fear. Don't stop going. Ride it out, for yours and your lovely dogs sake.

Go in . Take your dog. I wouldn’t explain anything to him about why you take your dog. That would give him an opportunity to make you feel guilty even if he didn’t intend to. It’s a dog friendly pub and others will take their dogs whether you do or not.

I don't understand why you stopped taking the dog in the first place?

I, very wary of large dogs and I wouldn't frequent a pub that allowed dogs or large dogs in or if I did sit near those people and expect them to move for me.

Do not allow this persons sense of entitlement to affect you or your lifestyle.

I'm not a dog person but please go back to the pub with your dog! Maybe he is trying to overcome his phobia?

@dogdilemmasagain As someone who is also mostly very afraid of dogs - especially dogs I don't know - and I really don't like them at all on the whole ( apart from the odd one or two, who belong to people I know and have got to know their dogs), I avoid them like the plague in cafe's and the like if I can -

BUT I have to accept that a dog friendly pub will have dogs in it. I don't think you should have stopped taking your dog into the pub at all. For most of us a bit afraid of dogs, as long as they under their owner's control and can't 'get at' us, it isn't a deal breaker for me to go into one. Biggest problem is owners who let their dogs behave any which way and refuse to control them

The fact that this chap kept coming back to the pub while you had your dog with you suggests to me that your dog is properly controlled and he is not so terrified that he decided not to return to that pub, says volumes to me

Yes - take the dog back - but don't tell him beforehand. If he says anything when he sees it, you can explain the reasons why you have changed your mind - but don't make it sound like you are blowing this up to a big deal, by talking about it beforehand. You do not have to justify your actions in this particular situation

My dh was terrified of dogs until we persuaded him to have one.
He loves all dogs now and is besotted with ours.
Dh had been dragged across a field by a large dog as a child. It was probably an excitable dog and just lasted a minute but in his head he had built it into a terrifying attack.
I was bitten by a Jack Russell once and still hate the snappy little b’s.

You sound a lovely, considerate dog owner - I wish more were!
If I were you, I don't think I'd try and discuss it with the man, or mention it again to the landlord. It's a dog-friendly pub, yours is a friendly dog! There's not really a problem, but by bringing it up you might be making it more of 'thing'. In their minds as well as yours.

My daughter was bitten on the face when she was a toddler. It made her, understandably, terrified of dogs for a long time. I’ve worked hard over the years to support her and help her gain confidence and she is a different child now. So much so that she wants her own dog.

the reason I mention this is really to give a reason why she was terrified. Due to her fear I wouldn’t have dreamt of taking her to a dog friendly pub, it just wouldn’t happen as apart from not being fair for my daughter, it wouldn’t be fair on the patrons who have dogs. It was my responsibility to find somewhere suitable to go so we could enjoy a meal. It’s a different story now, as long as the dog isn’t out of control, my daughter loves giving a dog a fuss with the owners permission.

it is THEIR problem that they’re scared of dogs and as an adult he should either deal with it or go somewhere where dogs aren’t allowed. It’s much like adults who don’t like children, they wouldn’t go to a family pub or restaurant where there are likely to be lots of kids!

Don’t let these people push you out of somewhere that brings you joy and company. You were there far longer and so was your lovely pooch. This guy cannot expect other people to change things just because he has chosen that pub out of all of them to go to. The bloke needs to grow up and be an adult, no one is forcing him to go there

Take your dog! You enjoy going there, your dog does and so do the landlord and the regulars. If the newbie-dog-fearers don't like it than they have a choice !

It’s a dog friendly pub.

I wouldn’t go if I was afraid of dogs.

I do think there should be areas that are dog free, like the bar area.
But if there isn’t then you are free to go wherever you want with your dog.

If you want to compromise then sit somewhere else or get a corner seat by the bar.

But you don’t need to compromise when you’ve not done anything wrong.

If the pub owner gets complaints then it’s up to them to come up with a solution like having dog free areas.

I’m just here to say I can’t believe you’ve even given this any thought or headspace tbh.

Actually, i dont think you should be sat at the bar, on second thoughts. It’s ‘dog friendly’ but I’m wondering if your dog could be stopping people who might be scared from ordering? The owner’s reaction when you mentioned not coming anymore is telling. I think you should pay attention to that

I agree. The dog I mentioned takes up a lot of space around the bar especially when it's stretched out. Even if you're not scared of dogs, laying around up at the bar, they do get in the way somewhat. Owners tend not to notice I think, because they're used to stepping around it at home.

Take your dog! Just thinking about his face when you leave him at home, and he knows where you're going. Also, need a picture of the dog, for research purposes 😄

I understand some people have good reason to be afraid of dogs but they need to find some level of perspective themselves. If they live in a dog loving society they are going to come into contact with one sooner or later and can't expect to never encounter a dog anywhere, ever. I'm afraid when I see people being completely over the top at the mere sight of my dog I tend to just ignore them and pretend that they don't exist. If I know that my dog is not behaving in a way that could reasonably cause someone to fear for their safety, then their reaction (or over reaction) is their problem, not mine. Seriously, get back down the pub with your dog and have a pint.

It's his problem not yours !!! Take your dog and enjoy yourselves. He can go elsewhere

Glad I read all you posts first because I was literally about to type 'what the heck are you doing??'

It's nice to be nice but this is too far! They can go to another pub or not sit near you, problem solved. Glad your doggy will get to go back in.

I do agree with the PPs that the bar should be dog free.

My old local pub was dog friendly and my friend was afraid of big dogs.
A man had a massive dog de Bordeaux and would be sat up at the bar every evening and you’d have to be next to this massive dog to order your drinks.

It didn’t bother me as I don’t mind big dogs and so I was still able to get drinks for us but my friend wouldn’t go anywhere near the bar.
This could easily lose the pub customers.

This is a good point though. Perhaps ensure people don't actually have to stand next to your dog to order drinks. They can choose not to sit near you but they can't choose where to order.

Take your dog to the pub.

There are plenty of pubs where dogs aren't allowed and the dog-phobic will be fine in any of them.

I no longer have dogs, but I shared my life with dogs for 33 years. Every one of them loved a trip to the pub.

Yes all of this.

and I say this as someone who doesn’t like dogs in most places particularly areas that serve food, but it seems bizarre OP would’ve adjusted her routine for people who haven’t asked her, especially considering it’s advertised as a dog friendly pub.

If I see somewhere advertised as dog friendly I just don’t go. Sadly I’ve had to avoid certain parks because of it so you certainly wouldn’t catch me in a dog friendly pub.

If they were that concerned about your dog they would sit elsewhere or go to a different pub. I assume it's not tiny. I am not keen on dogs but pubs are usually reasonably big, or have an area that takes dogs and another area that doesn't. If a dog bothered me on a regular basis (whether in perception or reality) I definitely wouldn't go back.

You have a lot of pubs nearby if you have three dog-friendly ones and at least a few others!