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WWYD here (my dog and pub related, name changed as quite outing).

278 replies

dogdilemmasagain · 17/02/2023 12:53

For about 8 years I've had a good attachment to my local pub. I go in there 2 or three times a week. I live by myself and moved here not knowing anybody, all my friends live in my old hometown. I am now very close friends with the landlord and a lot of other people who go in there. It isn't about going out to drink alcohol, I could do that anywhere, It's more the social scene and feeling part of a community-Going in there is my only socialisation most of the time.

It is a dog-friendly pub, we're in a place where there are 3 dog friendly pubs and a lot of others that aren't, all quite close together.

I always take my dog with me, dog is now well-liked by all the regulars and the landlord absolutely loves her.

A couple have began coming in recently. One of the couple is absolutely petrified of dogs. They always sit near the bar, where I also always sit.

I am not keen on him for unrelated reasons although he's pleasant enough.

They're there most times I go in with little exception and obviously I can't predict when they'll be in or if they'll arrive after I arrive, although they're 9 times out of 10 already there when I go as I go quite late.

For this reason, since I learned this I have not been taking my dog in the pub at all.

This causes me a couple of problems. One, I don't like leaving my dog at home alone. I am not out for a long time, but dog knows where I am going as he's used to my routine. Dog absolutely loves the pub, everyone makes a huge fuss of him and I get such a forlorn look from him when I go without him. To none 'dog people' this may sound bizarre but I am childless and single, so dog is a big part of me and my life.

Two, I don't feel safe walking home without dog. He's a big dog and although very friendly most of the time, I've had more than one situation where things could have been potentially dangerous for me without dog (I was followed home once and he scarpered once dog reacted) so I really do not enjoy being without him. It's too close for a taxi to be feasible but still far enough away from my house for something to potentially happen, and quite an isolated route.

So recently I said to the landlord that I'd have to stop coming in, I don't feel I am being fair on dog and I feel I am compromising my safety. Landlord said he understood. Suggested I sit further away from the couple instead of stopping coming in altogether, but this isn't ideal, I'd still need to bring dog with me to the bar near the couple each time I wanted another drink, and also, I go in to chat to everyone and everyone I am friends with sits near the bar-I'd just be sitting on my own.

I told one of my friends in there about this too. Friend said that the man who's terrified of dogs hasn't come in ever before until recently whereas I am part of the furniture as is my dog, and I shouldn't be letting him make me change something that's important to me. Said 'If he doesn't like dogs, why can't he choose from the other millions of pubs in the country that don't allow them in, there's a huge 'Dogs Welcome' sign outside this one!'

FWIW there are several pubs within walking distance of one another that don't allow dogs.

Hm. Well I definitely don't want to cause someone to be scared and unable to enjoy their evening. But does my friend have a point? Am I being a pushover? I know dogs aren't as important as humans which is why I made the decision in the first place.

I am more than aware of MN's general opinion of dogs too Grin

OP posts:
LakeTiticaca · 17/02/2023 14:57

Man terrified of dogs visits a dog friendly pub. I'm assuming it's well known and advertised as a dog friendly pub. So why does he go there then? If he was truly terrified of dogs he wouldn't put himself in an (avoidable) situation where there are likely to be dogs.
IMHO he's taking the piss. Get your your dog on its leash and get down the pub sharpish 😉😉

Booklover23 · 17/02/2023 14:57

This is a bit odd to be honest and I can’t quite work out who’s trying to edge out who. Because, on the face of it you’ve

  • Stopped bring your dog to the pub for literally no reason
  • blamed this on someone who, by the sounds of it has not asked you stop bringing your dog
  • have gone around to the landlord and your friend saying that they’ve pushed you out
  • have gone for the ultimate “well I’ll have to go elsewhere now” Martyr act
Choconut · 17/02/2023 14:57

Dogs are welcome, if he wants a pub where dogs aren't welcome then he can find one.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

seekingafreshstart · 17/02/2023 14:59

You said he wasn't bothered by the other dogs.

Do you have a huge scary looking dog then? A dangerous breed? I'm wondering why it's your dog that causes him distress.

I think as a general rule, if you have big scary looking dogs, you should keep them away from other people unless they openly declare themselves dog people. However... that rule applies to spaces everyone can't avoid. You know, walking in the park etc... you should keep your dog on a lead and under control. In a dog-friendly pub? No. That's your space. That's somewhere that you get to take priority for once.

Anyone terrified of dogs has a duty to themselves to manage their own fears by avoiding dog-friendly venues!

LexMitior · 17/02/2023 14:59

@Booklover23 - yes maybe the guy has made a remark once about big dogs in a conversation. That would be innocuous enough.

Why do you not like him OP?

SaySomethingMan · 17/02/2023 15:01

I don’t understand why you wouldn’t take your dog just because there’s someone scared of dogs in the vicinity

Unless you’re one of these people with a 5m dog lead in a pub so it’s free to just walk up to anyone, whether they want to be approached or not.

If you’re keeping it on a short lead and it not bothering anyone, i don’t see the problem.
The new person could choose to sit somewhere else.

Actually, i dont think you should be sat at the bar, on second thoughts. It’s ‘dog friendly’ but I’m wondering if your dog could be stopping people who might be scared from ordering? The owner’s reaction when you mentioned not coming anymore is telling. I think you should pay attention to that

Flinstones · 17/02/2023 15:02

AioliandChips · 17/02/2023 13:44

Just a thought. If your dog is a big dog, do you sit in a position where it has to be stepped over? I don't much care for dogs in pubs but my local is dog friendly so I have to suck it up. Most dogs are pretty small and don't scare me, but one man sits by the bar with his huge black lab and everyone has to step over it to get to the bar. This scares me in case it moves as I step over, and I accidentally tread on it. It's my opinion that it's pretty entitled to take up all that public floor space but nobody else seems bothered.

Well said!

Bunchamunchacarrots · 17/02/2023 15:05

LexMitior · 17/02/2023 14:49

Yes maybe there's something else to this story. It does seem a bit rum to suddenly upend your social life because a man who doesn't like dogs.

What's the other reason you don't like him OP?

This.

This can't be real. Something else must be going on here. Perhaps OP is feeling bullied by this guy in some way and doesn't want to say.

LookItsMeAgain · 17/02/2023 15:05

Cassimin · 17/02/2023 12:56

Take your dog and don’t worry about him.

Keep bringing your dog to the pub.
Let these strangers move to a different set of seats in the pub.

Why are you trying to bend over backwards to appease some stranger in a pub?

SaySomethingMan · 17/02/2023 15:05

AioliandChips · 17/02/2023 13:44

Just a thought. If your dog is a big dog, do you sit in a position where it has to be stepped over? I don't much care for dogs in pubs but my local is dog friendly so I have to suck it up. Most dogs are pretty small and don't scare me, but one man sits by the bar with his huge black lab and everyone has to step over it to get to the bar. This scares me in case it moves as I step over, and I accidentally tread on it. It's my opinion that it's pretty entitled to take up all that public floor space but nobody else seems bothered.

There could be quite a few people feeling like you but unable to say anything because we all know how precious some dog can get

Standbyguest · 17/02/2023 15:05

What happens if someone else takes their dog into the pub and this person is there? Are the dog owners expected to leave then??

Brokendaughter · 17/02/2023 15:08

I am scared of dogs.
I don't want to be around them.

That means if a pub has a sign saying 'Dog Friendly' on it, I will take my business elsewhere, not go in & make everyone else there uncomfortable, or if I found there was a time when none of the dog people went, I might go then if it was a nice place (probably not though).

You haven't dragged your dog into a dog free place, so you shouldn't have to stop using this pub over someone else who has other options that would suit them.

I'd sympathise with the guy if it was the only pub for miles, but if there are other places he could go that are dog free, then it's his problem not yours.

LaMereDuChat · 17/02/2023 15:10

Go to the pub! As my name suggests, I am a cat person... and would choose another pub rather than risk having wet noses thrust in my crotch all evening (I joke.. mostly) in one labelled 'dog friendly'. The notice is there for a reason - enjoy your local!

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 17/02/2023 15:10

Flinstones · 17/02/2023 15:02

Well said!

The op hasn't said her dog lies in the way. In fact she's said the exact opposite. So what's being said so well?

Quveas · 17/02/2023 15:10

It's a dog friendly pub. If they are petrified of dogs they can go to one that isn't.

LexMitior · 17/02/2023 15:11

Well, it's not about the dog. It's about this man and the OP.

They don't like each other and are sharing the bar space.

It's not the dog.

DaveyJonesLocker · 17/02/2023 15:12

It's a dog friendly pub. If they don't like dogs they can go to a dog free pub. Absolute insanity for you to stop going or stop taking your dog to the dog friendly pub.

Eastereggsboxedupready · 17/02/2023 15:13

I hope the landlord gives you a named tankard and your own seat op.
And a bowl for ddog...the cfers can pop off elsewhere..

Thinkbiglittleone · 17/02/2023 15:16

I'm glad you have decided to take your dog back in to the pub, It is nice to be kind, but not at the detriment to yourself. you are doing nothing wrong and if the others like your dog as well, you are being kind to them by continuing to take the pooch in. (Think of it that way of it sits betterGrin)

If they do confront you over it, just say " oh I chanted my mind, it is a dog friendly pub after all and she's one of the best customers hahahaha" (sort of thing)

endoftheworldniteclub · 17/02/2023 15:19

Can we have a photo of Ddog?

Mojoj · 17/02/2023 15:20

His phobia of dogs is not your problem. Seems strange to me that he'd choose a dog friendly pub but that's his choice. Again not your problem - you and your furry pal enjoy your pub!

LexMitior · 17/02/2023 15:21

Well, take a view from the landlord who is running a business.

They can have a couple who come in a spend more.

Or the OP can sit somewhere else, which means she is still a customer.

Just carry on OP but reading between the lines it looks like you don't like this guy because he's at the bar and perhaps giving out or dominating things , he's a better customer than you and that explains the landlord's response.

It's not the dog really. Because people who really dislike dogs as this man claims don't go to dog friendly pubs. He likes the pub alright, he probably likes it better with you.

LexMitior · 17/02/2023 15:22

Without you. Sorry to blunt but I think this not really a dog thing.

endoftheworldniteclub · 17/02/2023 15:24

If he was that afraid of dogs he wouldn’t go. This must be something else.

Floofydawg · 17/02/2023 15:25

100% take your dog to the pub. We have a dog friendly local which my dog loves to go to for the same reasons as you've said. I certainly wouldn't let some random stop me from taking him.