DD age 5 described as rude and nasty by holiday club leader

[ilovetomatoes]

As the title says when I picked her up today the leader said this. She wasn’t listening, wouldn’t follow instructions when asked and was “nasty” to another kid ( no details given). I’m a bit shocked. I just said I would speak to her but I’ve never had such horrendous feedback before. The not listening thing for sure which we’ve spoken about but more annoying rather than rude?

I’ve sat her down and talked through how she needs to behave and follow instructions. Bit upset she was described as nasty tbh

She was probably disturbing the other children from watching the film instead of playing quietly at the side or doing some colouring.

it's honest. You need to teach her that being nasty is wrong and that not listening is rude. Better now than later

They shouldn’t be using language like ‘nasty’. It’s not professional even if they’re only describing the behaviour rather than the child. How nasty can it have been that they haven’t even specified what happened exactly?!

Please don’t send her back. She’s only five. It sounds like they’ve no interest in resolving issues between children in a professional balanced way, rather than being lazy and labelling kids instead.

It’s interesting you say this because the ‘not listening’ can be a sign that a child is neurodivergent in some way. It’s possible the OP’s child is struggling to listen because of processing issues in an environment that is not sympathetic to sensory issues.

I say this as a neurodivergent mother who is raising two autistic boys. I’m teaching them that everyone is experiencing the world in different ways, not just them, so it’s best to be kind and patient if they can. Just because they have autism doesn’t mean the person they’re interacting with isn’t struggling in their own unique way too.

Children don't usually listen if the adult is ineffective. They are frequently nasty if they think they can get away with it 🤷‍♀️

Focus on the advice OP not how it made you feel.
Nip it in the bid and your DD will be better for it long term.

I had one mum describe her DD as sassy, which was basically rude.
Told the mum and she's since improved.

It's hard to take criticism but like others have said, just because no one else has raised it before, doesn't mean it's a one-off.