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Original poster

Why does MN seem to hate people who have 'money'

237 replies

febbabies2023 · 31/01/2023 18:19

Genuine question

I've read a few posts where people have asked for advice etc on a topic that heavily revolves around money or property etc

Quite often on those threads, people seem to bash them or become quite nasty even though the thread was asking for advice etc

Why does Mumsnet seem to have an issue with people who are 'weathly'? And wealthy / a high earner is different for everyone right?

Someone earning 25k a year will see someone on 50k as a high earner. Someone on 60k will see someone on 100k as a high earner and so on.

I know times are tough for some people, but it seems that people forget that some of these high earners have worked their absolute butts off to get where they are? Or is that unreasonable?

OP posts:

SoIAmGlad · 31/01/2023 18:22

Most Mners are British, and it’s a very unequal and class-divided society. Not to mention an increasingly impoverished one.

HoldingTheDoor · 31/01/2023 18:25

I know times are tough for some people, but it seems that people forget that some of these high earners have worked their absolute butts off to get where they are? Or is that unreasonable?

This might be why. They so often seem to talk as though no one else works their butts off. Plenty of people do exactly that and will still never earn a high salary.

MrsSchrute · 31/01/2023 18:34

As @HoldingTheDoor says, it's not so much the money, more the assumption that they somehow deserve what they have. No recognition of the huge amount of luck and circumstance that goes along with that hard work.
I have a friend who works harder than anyone I know, but due to a lousy upbringing, abusive partner and drug addiction will never have anything.

Florenz · 31/01/2023 19:00

Tall Poppy Syndrome.

Littlemountainhum · 31/01/2023 19:01

Pure jealousy

roarfeckingroarr · 31/01/2023 19:02

Jealousy and inverted snobbery. It's an unpleasant side of Mumsnet.

Daydreamer12345 · 31/01/2023 19:04

HoldingTheDoor · 31/01/2023 18:25

I know times are tough for some people, but it seems that people forget that some of these high earners have worked their absolute butts off to get where they are? Or is that unreasonable?

This might be why. They so often seem to talk as though no one else works their butts off. Plenty of people do exactly that and will still never earn a high salary.

Agreed.
So annoying.

Having said that, I do think a lot boils down to jealousy.

PennyToffee · 31/01/2023 19:06

I very much doubt all people who have money have worked their butts off for it.

LindorDoubleChoc · 31/01/2023 19:06

I'm not keen on really wealthy people generally, no. Obviously there's one or two I know personally and I know the human side and like or love them, but generally I feel the world's worse off for having some people toying with the dilemma of how to spend all their piles of cash whilst the majority have too little and are struggling.

LandlubbingKraken · 31/01/2023 19:09

It doesn't make a lot of sense though - some people are specifically opening threads about property or holidays to berate the OP for being able to afford property or holidays 🧐.

VladmirsPoutine · 31/01/2023 19:09

I think some of those threads are utterly disingenuous which is why people respond the way they do. A woman will claim she and her partner are 'high-earners' but have no idea if they can afford a 'big' holiday because she grew up poor only visiting Skegness for a weekend in a caravan when she was growing up. Or again, someone will claim to be earning 6 figures but have 'nothing left over' at the end of the month and is mystified as to how.

DesertIslandCondiment · 31/01/2023 19:11

I don't think it is jealousy always. We are OK but I was irritated with a poster who said nobody in her circle were struggling and they didn't think many people were. I thought was ignorant.

LandlubbingKraken · 31/01/2023 19:12

Some people really are clueless about finances though. I don't know, if I think someone is posting in good faith, I might reply. If I don't, I won't. In either case, I don't berate them for having money.

LandlubbingKraken · 31/01/2023 19:12

NashvilleQueen · 31/01/2023 19:12

If you've been here a while you know that there's a lot of posters genuinely struggling. I always cringe a little at the 'my diamond shoes are too tight' type posts because it feels incredibly crass just now.

VladmirsPoutine · 31/01/2023 19:13

I don't think it's jealousy on Mumsnet, as this is an online forum and for all you know you could be talking to the Princess of Wales or someone who's never earned more than £3k per annum.

DuplicateUserName · 31/01/2023 19:14

It could be a mix of jealousy and eye-rolling considering how many bullshitters there are on here.

WashAsDelicates · 31/01/2023 19:14

People who have nothing to say and no issue with others having more than them do not post, whereas people who have nothing to say but do have an issue with others having more than themselves post their issues rather than anything relevant.

There was a thread earlier this evening where the OP was wondering what to do with the two properties they and their dp own. I don't have two properties and am never likely to. I'm just glad we can pay the mortgage on our home. I had nothing to add to that thread, so I didn't post on it. But others posted their fury that the OP has so much more than them. Should I be ashamed that we can pay our mortgage? No. Yet there will be posters who are in the same position relative to me, that I am relative to the two properties poster.

UWhatNow · 31/01/2023 19:14

Oh the ‘worked really hard’ chestnut again 🙄…ffs

Yeah because those low wage earners around the country in the NHS, retail, warehousing and care work etc. they just sit round twiddling their thumbs don’t they? It’s their own fault they’re poor?

It probably is jealousy, but affluent people repeatedly stating they’ve ‘worked hard’ to get where they are is a really dumb thing to say compared to the greater number of people who work thankless, long, stressful hours and are on the bones of their arse just managing to pay the bills.

Clapping yourself on the back for your good fortune and saying it’s down to pure ‘hard work’ is so insulting. No wonder people get ‘nasty’.

donttellmehesalive · 31/01/2023 19:15

I don't think we can clump high earners into a homogeneous blob though can we. IME they are no different to any other sector of society. Some are wonderful and some are dicks, and most fall somewhere in between. It makes no sense do inherently dislike someone because they earn above an arbitrary threshold any more than it makes sense to dislike someone because they are below it. And wealthy people are allowed to experience problems and need advice like anyone else. If you can identify, or help, or it makes you feel seething jealousy, don't read it.

Danikm151 · 31/01/2023 19:15

I think certain posts are really tone deaf. There are some people who will not afford a holiday but others who are pondering what third house to buy!

know your audience I think

WashAsDelicates · 31/01/2023 19:16

Your audience is whoever chooses to click on the thread.

toastfiend · 31/01/2023 19:17

Mumsnet seems to have a disproportionate number of very high earners, assuming they're all telling the truth, so I wouldn't say Mumsnet "hates" these people at all.

There are some on here who do seem bitter, they crop up on every thread to remind everyone of their dire situations, and any trivial issue is met with a diatribe of woe is me and how dare anyone have the audacity to complain about anything when they're not on the bones of their arses, but there are also the tone deaf posters who brag about how much they have and how hard they've worked for it, like people on minimum wage don't work hard too, and they're annoying as well. Life is hard when you're struggling for every penny, I imagine it's very easy to feel angry about that and feel that it's unfair, which is probably what you're seeing, but that's still a minority of posters.

I do think the faux naive ways posters on here find to tell everyone just how much money they have can be pretty wearing all the time.

DuplicateUserName · 31/01/2023 19:17

Danikm151 · 31/01/2023 19:15

I think certain posts are really tone deaf. There are some people who will not afford a holiday but others who are pondering what third house to buy!

know your audience I think

The know your audience thing only works in real life.

It doesn't work on the internet because there's such a vast array of users.

Rather than 'know your audience', I'd advise 'pick your thread' and just keep scrolling if someone doesn't like reading about people with more money.

howrudeforme · 31/01/2023 19:19

I get the impression that most people in here have plenty money.

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