Why does MN seem to hate people who have 'money'

[febbabies2023]

Genuine question

I've read a few posts where people have asked for advice etc on a topic that heavily revolves around money or property etc

Quite often on those threads, people seem to bash them or become quite nasty even though the thread was asking for advice etc

Why does Mumsnet seem to have an issue with people who are 'weathly'? And wealthy / a high earner is different for everyone right?

Someone earning 25k a year will see someone on 50k as a high earner. Someone on 60k will see someone on 100k as a high earner and so on.

I know times are tough for some people, but it seems that people forget that some of these high earners have worked their absolute butts off to get where they are? Or is that unreasonable?

From what I’ve seen some people are mainly trying to help people who ask credible questions.
I worked with people struggling immensely for 20 years who were never given financial advice. In fact they were not given guidance and support in any area of their lives.
Sharing wisdom and insight is a good thing surely ?
The only people I question are those who seem to just take the opportunity to list what they have. That’s not sharing wisdom
I gave a school mum the info for a 11+ tutor as she wanted her son to take the exam. Other mums didn’t like it as the family were deemed to be unsuitable for grammar school.
We should just all be kinder to each other….. think through your actions.

It's completely unreasonable to conclude that people who work hard earn well and people who earn pittance don't work hard. It's usually the other way round in our society.

Relative wealth makes people angry and society dangerous and divided. If everyone is rich, or everyone is poor, people are happier, crime is lower, society is more cohesive.

The Tories have spent a lot of effort making the divide wider and people less happy. Anger is a form is civil disobedience in the face of this.

Noblesse oblige and if your diamond shoes hurt, maybe understand it's better than having none and you probably shouldn't complain. To people who don't have any. I say that as someone who is pretty comfortable.

And if hard work caused wealth, the work would look entirely different.

World

I was thinking about that post when I opened this one. The one where the op and her dp owned 2 properties and they were arguing over whether to keep both properties for their dd to inherit, or whether to sell one? It was very clear from the title what the post was about. She had a very good reason to post wondering whether she was bu for feeling it may be greedy to keep an excess house, and potentially make her dd spoilt/ungrateful for inheriting 2, but instead got a load of replies on how very dare she post on mn that she owns multiple houses when there are poor people on here 🙄

I just eye roll, particularly the 30-40 year olds stressing that their £500,000 pension they have already accumulated will not be enough for retirement and they still have years to add to it .

I wrote a comment on here once answering someone asking for advice about a second home or property of some sort. A couple of posters were really disgusting to me despite it just being a factual answer about a couple of locations. It’s their issue not mine. I name changed though as one of them appeared on a couple of other threads I was on being an arse to me. 🤷🏻‍♀️

There seems to be a lot of hatred towards those who inherit money.
My parents worked hard on low incomes to buy a house. They were far from wealthy but the house increased in value over 60 years.
It was not down to them that property prices grew so high. They were working class.
So those who have been lucky enough to inherit have their parents to thank for their hard work and prudence.
Yet so much nastiness and bitterness from some posters towards them.
Like anyones gonna turn down money so they don't upset someone else!

There is a growing narrative in the UK over the last few years that anyone with some money, or a property or a good income is somehow not the salt of the earth or has got where they are with help, particularly where property is concerned.

do you not think social mobility has decreased? I don't know anyone who didn't buy without help, there was a recent article about in the FT but I don't know how to share it.

People on here frequently get very angry when it becomes apparent someone else is in a good financial position compared to them but has dared ask for any advice etc. I find it really unpleasant. The arrogance of people shrieking that a poster should ‘read the room’ because they can only see life from their perspective and fail to contemplate that they alone are not ‘the room’.

There is a big dose of jealousy and bitterness as well.

It drives me bonkers when a finance thread started by someone asking for pension advice or something (absolutely not boasting in any way) is met with shrieking posters demanding the OP shut up, stop boasting, read the room, go and donate to a food bank etc. And we wonder why many women remain financially illiterate compared to men. We need to have open conversations and not make women feel that earning well, or having savings, is something to feel shameful and embarrassed about or that it’s not ‘kind or nice’ to mention it when other people might be poor.

Yes the CoL crisis is awful and lots of people are suffering but they simply don’t have the right to deny other peoples’ reality or try and shame them for it.

Anyone asking for advice on a money issue involving more than £20 is accused of ‘stealth boasting’ and it drives me mad. MNHQ needs to crack down on posters bullying anyone who has the audacity not to be poor.

I do think some people need to read the room a little better though. In a “my diamond shoes are too tight” kinda way.

It's not just jealousy. It's a reaction to someone 'shoving it in someone else's face' eg the thread today about someone who own 'too many houses'. How did they think that would be received when so many people can't get onto the property ladder at all.

This

@LakeTiticaca Like you I benefited from family housing wealth but I get why it's not a good thing. For a lot of people whether they own a property depends on if their parents owned & if they helped them. That's often more important than salary. I don't think that's good for society overall & we have a real issue with wage stagnation in the UK.

It's a public forum, though. There's no reason someone with significant assets can't start a conversation. If anything, given the number of people with 6'2" DHs who earn six figures and the endless sneering about new money and being working class, one might be forgiven for thinking most people on here are indeed minted and socially established and shouldn't have any objection to this kind of discussion.

There is a ‘money matters topic’ on this very site….?!

I would venture this is a GREAT place for women to discuss money in a female centred site, alongside related issues about relationships etc which are often tied in together with women’s money queries.

Oh come off it @LakeTiticaca you know as well as I do that inhereted wealth benefits most those who descend from slave owners and all kinds of nefarious deeds. Your argument also plays into the idea that you only have wealth if you (or your parents) work hard, which is also nonsence.

I don't agree with abusing posters who have money, but I do agree with them being reminded of the majority of people's lives in this country. It's far too easy for the rich to segregate themselves as it is.

But if you work in a warehouse maybe think about retraining. It’s bloody hard work, get your forklift licence, then move on to bigger machinery. Do you H&S quallies through work. Same in nursing, move up a band, chose a specialism, get promoted. These things are possible. There seems to be a funny idea that no one can change their circumstances to earn more money. It’s something I’ve done over the last 15 years, while having kids and renting. Now own a house and applying for senior roles. It’s been hard. Retraining again this year once the baby is older. Mumsnet always says the people who have money thing don’t work hard. It might not be grafting in a factory, but it’s hard work usually with a lot of study and delayed gratification and working your way up through the ranks by putting in the hours over your career.

I agree with you however it’s sometimes annoying when you feel you can’t have normal, easy conversations without mentally cross-checking everything in case you upset someone. For instance on another thread on S&B about favourite items people have bought recently I decided not to post about the (luxurious brand) coat I’ve recently bought and love after seeing the passive aggressive comments another poster is getting about a similar item. She didn’t ask for comments about the item itself!
It sometimes feels on MN that unless you are talking about something you got for 50p from a charity shop you are somehow less deserving or “stealth boasting” or “tone deaf”. But so long as it isn’t done in a vulgar way why should I not be able to enter genuine conversations speaking from my own perspective? It sometimes feels like MN has this kind of race-to-the-bottom virtue signalling, of poor=good, wealthy or comfortably off=bad.

I feel like this in RL too - I find myself deliberately omitting lots of personal info from my closest friends as I don’t want to seem boastful - but it can feel like I can’t freely speak to anyone apart from dh.

There seems to be a lot of hatred towards those who inherit money.

True, and the very ironic thing is that the vast majority of people saying they want to better their financial position say that they want to do it for their kids, so they have something to pass down to them. I wonder if they think that when that time comes, their own children should be exempt from the vitriol they extend to people of their own generation who had help from THEIR parents?!

Oh come off it @LakeTiticaca you know as well as I do that inhereted wealth benefits most those who descend from slave owners and all kinds of nefarious deeds.

That's a good point and actually why I've never understand why old money looks down on new money for wearing flashy logos! 😆

Of course not, just as for reverse is equally true

When I am new money I am going to buy lv luggage.

There seems to be a funny idea that no one can change their circumstances to earn more money.

I don't think that's true. Many people have circumstances that prevent them earning more money & then many have circumstances that no matter what they will be ok.