Why does MN seem to hate people who have 'money'

[febbabies2023]

Genuine question

I've read a few posts where people have asked for advice etc on a topic that heavily revolves around money or property etc

Quite often on those threads, people seem to bash them or become quite nasty even though the thread was asking for advice etc

Why does Mumsnet seem to have an issue with people who are 'weathly'? And wealthy / a high earner is different for everyone right?

Someone earning 25k a year will see someone on 50k as a high earner. Someone on 60k will see someone on 100k as a high earner and so on.

I know times are tough for some people, but it seems that people forget that some of these high earners have worked their absolute butts off to get where they are? Or is that unreasonable?

I've found it's mostly newish money looking down on newer money.

As for the MN crap about "money talks, wealth whispers", bwa ha ha. Yeah, all those palaces and stately homes are so understated!

Isn’t that a real life issue though, rather than anonymous internet forum issue?

Goodness knows why; it's horrible. Very similar to "the politics of envy", which are just juvenile (ie "if I don't have something, then nobody else should have it either").

@Perfect28 what the hell do my parents (who grew up in WW2 and knew what having nothing actually meant) have to do with slave labour? I think you are stretching the point a little here. Maybe cut down on whatever you have been smoking/drinking 😉

But what is hard work, physical work, mental load, responsibility maybe??

Some of the threads about money (and having lots of it) are crass. A bit like when you find yourself talking to someone about their fabulous wealth in any walk of life. Some of them aren't even questions /dilemmas, it's literally someone showing off 😅. Of course, they may well be lying.

Agree, it's unnecessary and if you don't like those kinds of threads just move along! There will always be people with more than you, and people with less than you, that's life.

And you must preface your problems with 'first world problem here' or be berated. On the holiday thread, how much are you spending, they pop up to pull faces too. Some people seem to think all threads must adopt some sort of Mumsnet-wide lowest common denominator or you are bring utterly unreasonable. Life isn't like that and sometimes, some threads might not be for you.

To be fair there's a vast difference between "I don't know how best to invest for the future, what can I do?" and "I only have £500 per week left for food, however will I cope?".

Wow that point really passed you by huh?

I haven't read all of the replies but just wanted to say

It was a genuine question and I was curious to the answers to whether that be

• jealousy?
• issues with social and private sector pay amounts

I absolutely agree that there are some careers out there that do not earn in proportion to their skill set and job role (i.e nurses)

Of course some of it is also relative too - someone with a 4 bed house, 2 kids in childcare will of course need to earn more to sustain some form of 'comfortable' life

It does seem that everyone on MN is one end of the scale or the other

• earning 20k a year and struggling to make ends meet
• earning £120k a year, nice home and 3 holidays a year

I wonder how many are comfortably in the middle of that, or if it's just not admitted because they would probably get stick still

Who knows

How is posting for opinions on a topic that involves money or property ‘talking as though no one else works their butts off?’

Are some posts, no matter how genuine they are, unacceptable unless they are prefaced with a disclaimer about how much the OP appreciates her luck and how much she donates to a food bank?

There is no need to talk about how lucky they are and how much they appreciate that some other people work hard too when they’re talking about stresses of house purchasing or whatever.

Why would you assume that someone who has a spare money is automatically a horrible person who looks down on others who don’t have as much?

I know times are tough for some people, but it seems that people forget that some of these high earners have worked their absolute butts off to get where they are? Or is that unreasonable?

Largely because of this attitude. Is the care worker on minimum wage not worthy of a high wage? They're also 'working their butts off'.

People don't hate those with money. But it is crass to come on a site and ask for help with financial worries that essentially boil down to 'I have no idea how to make even the most basic of budgets because I've never had to'. Those that do that have no sense that sometimes they're asking people with less than half their income to offer help and assistance. Especially when they could just google 'budget planner' and use an ounce of that nous they all claim to have when it comes to earning the bloody money

I was well on the way to being a properly high earner when I was hit by ms. Mostly I deal with the misery of poverty, increasing disability, and helplessness quite well. Once in a blue moon it gets on top me and I say something stupid or unkind or thoughtless or pointless or whatever. Happened today.

Why? Because MN is predominantly Left wing, and elements of that is driven by the politics of envy, which seems to be a very human characteristic. But MN ers will likely vehemently deny it or just cannot see it.

It's also probably worth noting that the rich are currently completely screwing the poor. Especially in the UK, we see the contracts and nepotism and Brexit and one-hand-washing-the-other while the economy stagnates and pretty average people are wondering how to both eat and pay the heating bill.

None of us can get near the actually rich to complain so the feelings leak out when someone asks about buying a third home or going on 17 holidays.

If anyone in power gave a crap about social cohesion and equality, it wouldn't be like this.

Also I just want to clear up

I didn't mean if you work hard you get rich, nor that if you didn't 'work hard' you were poor

Fully aware there are jobs out there that must be done, and people work hard at etc which don't pay the same as a job which pays higher for probably less demand

For reference, I think my own salary is higher than what it 'should' be in comparison to other job roles (no I don't earn stupid money either before someone assumes that one 😂)

I feel It’s like you have to be working down a mine or digging trenches to “deserve” your wealth. Dh and I are from WC backgrounds and worked all the hours God sent to get our business off the ground. Dh was the first person in his family to go to uni. He’s made a lots of hard decisions in his working life, regularly works 14 hour days and has had to bear all the mental stress of the financial commitments he’s taken on as well as having others relying on him for their wages. No he hasn’t grafted using his hands but I would argue what he’s achieved has been a lot harder than doing a physical “job” where you can clock off at 5pm and go home and forget about it all.

We are only now (in our 40’s) really able to take a bit of a step back and really enjoy our lifestyle (no time for holidays in the past!) and it feels very well deserved to me!

I really do understand that many people work so hard and never get what they deserve. Some people do not need to work at all and everything falls into their lap.

It does bother me when people are snidy about dp and myself in terms of money though. We are both working class. He had to leave school to pay money into a 2 bed family home with 6 kids. His parents slept on a sofa bed in the living room. I was able to stay in school, but only if I was able to support myself. Thankfully I did not have to support my family, so I could buy my own uniform etc from the job I got at 14.

We are not very wealthy by any means, but we are better off than a lot of people, especially within our families. I do not accept that we are just lucky, which is what some family members say. We made good choices, but we also work tirelessly to achieve what we have.

The thing is it is not just good fortune if people are comfortably off. People may have made decisions or done things that others may not choose to do - they may have slogged away at something day and night, they may have worked at a place or in a place others would not ( as in our case). They were maybe cautious with money and thought about the future and made moves to secure that. It's more than a case of bad luck and good luck but I do agree that many women do end up in shit situations because of background and poor choices.

I had my arse handed to me once when someone started a thread about what income you would class as being rich. DH was earning lower end of 6 figures at the time and I posted that and said we were not rich. We are not rich as we have a large family and all the expenses that come with that. Yes we are comfortable but comfortable and rich are 2 different things. One poster really went to town on me.

I'm afraid I disagree. You were, imo, rich. Just because you spend a lot of it doesn't mean you're not rich.

You still seem to be missing the point - you'd be wealthier but you had choices that many don't like having a large family, and probably the large house and cars that come with it, holidays and private schools etc. You're only 'comfortable' when earning an obscene amount of money because of choices that someone married to say, a postman, wouldn't have the opportunity to even consider.

Of course that's rich. Which means you have the funds to pay for your higher expenses.

6 figures not being 'rich' is well, a bit rich.