Why does MN seem to hate people who have 'money'

[febbabies2023]

Genuine question

I've read a few posts where people have asked for advice etc on a topic that heavily revolves around money or property etc

Quite often on those threads, people seem to bash them or become quite nasty even though the thread was asking for advice etc

Why does Mumsnet seem to have an issue with people who are 'weathly'? And wealthy / a high earner is different for everyone right?

Someone earning 25k a year will see someone on 50k as a high earner. Someone on 60k will see someone on 100k as a high earner and so on.

I know times are tough for some people, but it seems that people forget that some of these high earners have worked their absolute butts off to get where they are? Or is that unreasonable?

Well put!

We should all take responsibility when doing that.

Most Mners are British, and it’s a very unequal and class-divided society. Not to mention an increasingly impoverished one.

I think it's this.

I have no problem acknowledging that I only bought a house with family help. Yes I work/worked hard but it wouldn't have been possible without family help.

Lots of MN are seemingly high earners- I’d say we seriously lack a middle ground, ie. There’s people who save nothing a month and people who save thousands- no one seemingly saves a few hundred.

anyway no one minds high earners, people loathe ignorance eg. “Can I raise a baby on 300k in London?” ….I have no time for those posts.

I think you're missing the fact that some of the hardest jobs to graft in are stunningly low paid. And people get resentful that they haven't got anywhere in life despite working hard because all through school we're told "work hard and you'll go places" and for most people that's just not true at all.

So clueless people with money come along, go "well I worked very hard I deserve nice things what friffery do I spend this $$$ on?" (and I've been guilty of this too when I was a higher earner) and they don't seem to realise that other people work just as hard and life is very unfair, so people do snap about it sometimes.

I don't think we lack a middle ground, in fact I'd go as far as to say the 'middle grounders' are probably in the majority.

But people don't tend to post much about money unless they have too little or a lot of it.

Will somebody please think of the millionaires!

See also: MN isn't a hive mind. We're all individuals with our own life experiences and POVs.

See if someone said, I’m not keen on poor people, generally no. There would be a fucking outcry.

I don't think you should worry about your audience on an anonymous forum - you can't possibly know your audience, there are thousands of users from all walks of life.

If people with money upset people without, then maybe people in happy relationships upset those of us who aren't, people with dc upset anyone who is struggling ttc, people complaining about their parents upset people who have lost their parents.

I agree with pp - pick your thread, none of them are compulsory.

I click away from the threads that read like one big stealth boast. Not in the least bit jealous, just chose years ago to dereg from social media (apart from here) and don't want to be regaled with peoples financial "problems" like the woes of life not being able to cope with budgeting on a 6 figure combined salary. Diddums.

and the mythical £100k salary on a 4 day week with company car, pension and health care at the age of 30. I just can't take that seriously I'm afraid, but that probably makes me deeply cynical.

It does seem a race to the bottom sometimes. If you have some money then you are not allowed to have feelings, you just need to suck it up and accept your problems and practice gratitude.

People who have money do not tend to post about their perceived struggles. That's old money. New money? Never enough.

There are other well respected sites to ask about money issues. Here is not one of them.

This is a good point actually.

I think people should feel free to post about whatever they like. It's not tone deaf to post about expensive holidays; no one is being forced to read particular threads.

I'm never bothered enough to comment on those threads but I do have to roll my eyes.

How can we afford a child on 100k joint salary in London?

I mean, really? We've all seen them. They are annoying.

Yabu 😂

See I would counter that I do understand when people say they are worried about having a dc on 100k. Housing costs are shocking now as are childcare costs.

There is a huge issue with salaries in this country in most jobs. Add in ever increasing costs & paying more tax, student loan etc many people are thinking what's the point.

It doesn’t annoy me when people have a lot of money, but I dislike them when they act like both earning 70k is “normal” as if everyone else is on the same. Of course, most people think what they earn is normal because you tend to socialise with people in similar circumstances. But it’s people who seem completely unaware
of the challenges many people in the UK are facing who I find quite staggering.

It’s a British thing IMO - people generally don’t like to see others getting ahead.

The amount of threads to do with property that all seem to end the same way: greedy, evil, money-grabbing landlords - it just smacks of envy and resentment. I am the type of person who genuinely wishes others well and doesn’t care what people spend their money on - but even on the style & beauty board I don’t feel I can’t talk about luxury items as it inevitably becomes a “why are you paying £1k for a handbag - you need your head testing” type thread. I just can’t be arsed getting into it.

I think the phrase “misery likes company” is often very apt!

It's annoying when someone says they have xxx amount of money and can't manage with what they have.

Or boast and don't come back to their own post.

"Worked hard" really means made some good choices and live in the right location and am prepared to work extra hours if needed.

Hard work means something else entirely.

I’ve experienced this when asking for advice on property matters. My parents were blue collar workers, I could have gone to university but finished education at A levels. Progressed through the ranks with one employer. Along with my partner (a second time around relationship) am mortgage free with a decent income, but no gold plated pension. I make no apology for my situation and am not moved that it might bother someone else.

I think there is a minority who just think any thread the response is don't you know there is a cost of living crisis when asking what colour to paint a room or similar.
Personally I think just don't click or don't respond rather then every single thread having a your selfish or tone deaf post on which at the moment feels is the case!

Exactly this.

MN is class obsessed. It's not at all uncommon (ho ho) to be told you're wrong because what you do is not middle class enough.

People who are class obsessed are generally not as high a social class as they wish to be (as they perceive it). They therefore very much dislike happening upon someone who has the status they want. You can also see this in the Louis Vuiton handbags threads.

It comes out in funny ways sometimes. I have a shoeless house and have been told that it must be because I'm so poor (read: lower class) that I can't afford to replace carpets on a whim, or I am excessively houseproud because home ownership is novel to me. There was some deranged conversation the other day about tumble driers. Another one was about packed lunches on day trips. Someone suggested OP was too poor/working class to eat out every time to which OP responded that her family ate baguettes with Emmental and farm shop ham and someone in the family was a lawyer. I once saw a heated debate about how you could tell someone's social class from where they put the fruit bowl.

It's absolutely deranged, but sometimes quite funny.

Its jealousy and inverse snobbery

And also defensiveness that you can even see on this thread. When someone says that someone worked hard, it doesnt automatically negate someone elses hard work, why assume it does?

There is a growing narrative in the UK over the last few years that anyone with some money, or a property or a good income is somehow not the salt of the earth or has got where they are with help, particularly where property is concerned.

As someone else said, its like a race to the bottom.