I am currently wearing one of DD's nappies as a makeshift sanitary pad...what's the most unglamorous moment of your life so far?!

[BarbaraVineFan]

I have been on the coil since 2020 and literally never had a period or anything approaching one. Randomly tonight I have come on my period and had nothing in the house :/ no friends locally enough to ask and DD asleep so couldn't go to a shop.. Hence the nappy trick (which feels a bit like wearing an entire roll of loo roll in my knickers!)

I think this might be a new low in the unglamorous stakes, even for me. Can anyone top this?!

Had a awful reaction to the AZ Covid jab… felt really really sick while in the car with DP. Suddenly discovered that face masks are quite absorbent if you violently vomit into them… I was able to hold regurgitated Heinz tomato soup (lunch) to my face without spilling a drop!!
However, being in my mid 50s, I accidentally wet myself with the effort of the vomit….
Dp is still around, bless him!!
I cringe when I think of this day😖

Was on a 3 day work trip to Cardiff and came down with a horrendous stomach bug. In the middle of the night the hotel firm alarm went off, and everyone had to be evacuated. I managed to stagger as far as the corridor before having to lie down and vomit into somebody’s room service tray which they had left outside their door. I never made it to the assembly point.
Thankfully, it was a false alarm although I’m quite sure my projectile vomit would have doused any fire, no matter how big!

Drank after taking strong antibiotics too soon after the course.

The next morning I was vomiting so violently i pissed myself as my DH came in to see if I was ok.

At 3 months pregnant I ran off a train at Waterloo to the public loos where I puked so hard that I peed my pants. No one at work new I was pregnant yet but they probably figured it out when I turned up late with a tear-stained, mascara-streaked face stinking of pee and puke.
When I was 7 months pregnant I fainted in Sainsbury’s, came round and vomited and was kind of half-lying in my own puke when a poor security guard came running over to help.
Pregnancy does not suit me

Ski socks when my waters went!!
I was hosting a book party at the time.
DC2 born 9-10 weeks early that night.

Oh god. Just remembered another one…

Dh’s dad was in the shower. He was visiting and I had only met him for a couple of days.

Then gastro hit.

He was in the only bathroom we had. I waited..I really tried to wait. Ended up sat on the toilet shitting my brains out with dh stood next to me
holding up a towel singing loudly trying to drown it out whilst FIL was in the shower.

When i was heavily pregnant we had a very old rescue dog who was often incontinent and so I had loads of those puppy training pads everywhere at home as I often needed one for him at short notice. Also served brilliantly when my waters broke 3 weeks before due date during a little neighbourly get together with half our street present. DH had had a drink so my neighbours’ DH drove me whilst sat on a dog pad in the passenger seat and DH tipsy in the back!! Memorable

@LouLou198 I am definitely stealing this idea, have been caught short many a time stuck in traffic and always use a Maccys cup or similar much to DH amusement if we start moving forward.

I was once so desperate for a poo I pulled into a lay by and did it. It was the middle of the night so minimal traffic but every time I pass that lay by I think of that.

I've seen a post or 2 about UTI pain....if you are ever in a pinch - middle of the night, no antibiotics, no cystitis sachets, etc - and need a little relief, I have had success with bicarbonate of soda dissolved in a glass of water. Tastes vile, but seems to neutralise the urine enough to give a bit of relief.
Not suitable if pregnant

This happened to us with our bedroom door with the same type of handle and my toddler DD trapped on the other side. Ended up climbing out of the window (fortunately ground floor but still quite a struggle) and getting DD to post the keys out through the letter box so I could get back in. Fortunately not that desperate for the loo at the time.

im being generous when I say new boyfriend… was just a guy I had started seeing and we got back there late after a night out and I didn’t know where the toilet was! Trust me I’m baffled by that decision looking back!
the saucepan was a panic move. It wasn’t a solid poo in my defence lol so I just chucked the entire thing

A few years ago on summer. We went on a family day out to a beauty spot about 1 hours drive away.
I was just entering peri menopause and my first period in a few months arrived that morning. We set off and I realised my period was not my normal heavy- it was ultra heavy. Despite having super tampax and super always on, I doubted they would do the job. We parked up and I got out of the car to feel the dreaded flood- both had failed me and the blood was dripping down my legs. Even my Navy trousers couldn't hide the mess. Obviously, first stop- public loos. No!! Nadda!!! At this National Trust site car park there were no toilets. At all!! We asked the guys working there and they unhelpfully told us there was a pub a mile or 2 away, but the car park would likely be full in the next half hour so we prob wouldn't be able to return.
I ended up in the forest doing my best attempt at a clean up operation and, I am ashamed to say, leaving behind a puddle of period blood in the leaves! That was a low!!

This thread is so comforting 🤣

A few years ago I went with dp and mil to see a touring production of Annie at a theatre a couple of towns away. I went for a wee at the interval, and then 20 minutes later, was bursting again. I quietly excused myself, and went to the loo. Try as I might, I couldn't find the toilets, somehow I'd got myself into some sort of maze of tunnels downstairs. I was absolutely bursting, and in the end I just had to find a corner and piss like a racehorse on the carpet. Nobody saw me, but I am fucking mortified every time I think about it. And I have never told another soul.

Also, I've always remembered a story that I read once, and I'm sure it was here. A woman had gone to a Costa somewhere in the NW, desperately needed a sudden poo, caught her foot in the handle of her handbag on the floor, knocked herself out and shit herself.

Does anyone else remember that? Are you still here, mystery Costa woman? 😁

Do you have bladder problems? Who needs to wee 20 minutes after emptying your bladder?

Works team building trip we were all on a coach, for some reason on the way home my childhood travel sickness that I'd said goodbye to years ago decided to raise its ugly head and I began retching, one of colleagues sae and gave me a carrier bag to vomit into while everyone pretended not to notice. I then had to disembark the coach carrying a rather full bag of warm vomit 🤢

Well, I don't usually. Just the usual wear and tear of a woman in her fifties, I guess. I've heard it's pretty common.

Sometimes I can drink loads and go hours but once I un cork I have to go repeatedly

Did you not have a waitrose one?

sieving poo out of the bath after my little boy pooped in the water 😩

Peeing and pooing in a commode at the moment - will be 3 weeks

Leg in plaster

Total non weight bearing and surgeon been very strict with it so can't get upstairs to bathroom.

Ah the joys of parenthood. I dare say if that's your most unglamorous moment you're doing pretty well compared to some on this thread 😂

Oh I see.
Also, I suspect on both occasions a bit worse for wear?.😉

At the new boyfriends yes
the poo in the pan incident was middle of the day stone cold sober
in my defence I had the shits and her mum was in the shower for so long

I was once in a pet shop, and so desperately in need of a wee. I thought I'd be able to last until I got home - I got served, wet myself (It began as a dribble but then I couldn't stop it) entirely (I was wearing a maxi dress thankfully), but as I walked out of the shop, I heard this loud squelching of the wee in my flip-flops - and so did everyone else.