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I am currently wearing one of DD's nappies as a makeshift sanitary pad...what's the most unglamorous moment of your life so far?!

225 replies

BarbaraVineFan · 30/01/2023 21:13

I have been on the coil since 2020 and literally never had a period or anything approaching one. Randomly tonight I have come on my period and had nothing in the house :/ no friends locally enough to ask and DD asleep so couldn't go to a shop.. Hence the nappy trick (which feels a bit like wearing an entire roll of loo roll in my knickers!)

I think this might be a new low in the unglamorous stakes, even for me. Can anyone top this?!

OP posts:
2023pending · 31/01/2023 00:32

Had really bad strep throat last year and was day 6 into a 10 day course of penicillin, not had it for years so forgot what it causes.

went down a local nature spot for a walk and needed a shit that bad i was sweating, ended up going behind a log in the forest, carried on walking, went for a drink at the little cafe bit and a woman was talking to her fella about how disgusting people were letting their dogs shit everywhere, whilst pointing in the vicinity of the log id just exploded behind 🥴

Bepis · 31/01/2023 00:34

StillMedusa · 30/01/2023 22:57

Norovirus a few years ago... I had my head down the loo vomiting copiously when the other end started to fire uncontrollably... I couldn't stop vomiting long enough to turn round so I pulled the cat litter tray next to the loo under me and pooed into that! I had to throw away my pants and leggings.

Even worse.. the cat WATCHED me with a WTF look on her face Grin

Cat litter tray 😂. This had me howling 😂

Barleysugar86 · 31/01/2023 00:35

So I had a horrific UTI once, the only relief I got was when pushing like you do for a wee even though only drops were coming out. I desperately needed to sleep but couldn't because whenever I lay down the urge to wee was so bad, so I set myself up on my bed with the absorbent mattress protectors you get for kids to protect the bed, piled with old towels under me so i could do the push wee thing until I fell asleep. Huge low for me. Such a relief when i was able to get some antibiotics the next day.

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twoandcooplease · 31/01/2023 00:38

That's genius @imSatanhonest
And calling.. the 'it was only a little one' made me burst into hysterics I was not expecting that. Brilliant

VanellopeVonSchweetz99 · 31/01/2023 00:43

"the cat WATCHED me with a WTF look on her face"

dear lord I needed that 😂

thaegumathteth · 31/01/2023 00:49

Barleysugar86 · 31/01/2023 00:35

So I had a horrific UTI once, the only relief I got was when pushing like you do for a wee even though only drops were coming out. I desperately needed to sleep but couldn't because whenever I lay down the urge to wee was so bad, so I set myself up on my bed with the absorbent mattress protectors you get for kids to protect the bed, piled with old towels under me so i could do the push wee thing until I fell asleep. Huge low for me. Such a relief when i was able to get some antibiotics the next day.

I did this when I was passing kidney stones

Teaandtoastedbiscuits · 31/01/2023 00:57

BarbaraVineFan · 30/01/2023 21:13

I have been on the coil since 2020 and literally never had a period or anything approaching one. Randomly tonight I have come on my period and had nothing in the house :/ no friends locally enough to ask and DD asleep so couldn't go to a shop.. Hence the nappy trick (which feels a bit like wearing an entire roll of loo roll in my knickers!)

I think this might be a new low in the unglamorous stakes, even for me. Can anyone top this?!

I think tat is genius tbh, much better that having to use a roll of tp

Teaandtoastedbiscuits · 31/01/2023 00:58

That

Wetblanket78 · 31/01/2023 01:08

Impossible he shat without him noticing 💩😷🙄more to the point though you can't have a wee without doing a poo.🤣🤣🤣Nah not buying it.

JeanMarie · 31/01/2023 01:12

This happened many , many years ago but I still cringe if I ever think about it. I'd been on a first date with a new bloke and he'd left me home. We were having a good old snog in his car when I felt the urge to pee. Being young and foolish I didn't want to say anything so I clenched every muscle below the waist for what seemed like an eternity. I eventually said I'd better go....work next day...getting late etc so he said I'll just wait to make sure you get in ok. I walked up the path to the door trying to look nonchalant and turning every few steps to give a little wave. The urge to pee was actually getting painful now and as I tried to put the key in the door.....whoosh...the floodgates opened. I was standing waving him off with the pee running into my new boots. Luckily it was dark but my boots were ruined....plus I never seen him again. Tbh I was more annoyed about my boots. 😁

Thomasina79 · 31/01/2023 01:18

Not me, but my other half recently had a terrible experience at the dentist when he swallowed a small instrument. He spent hours at the hospital,x ray on several occasions so they could locate it and confirmed it was stuck in the large intestine. He was instructed to inspect his poo and the only way to do this was to poo into a cat tray and dig around. He felt awful and his self esteem plummeted. Luckily in the end nature had taken its course, but I did feel for him, especially as the instrument could have damaged the lower bowel, even perforated it. Sorry if this is too much information!

whytesnow · 31/01/2023 01:20

I once shat the bed in Thailand

transformandriseup · 31/01/2023 01:52

Having to wee into a bucket in my car in the middle of a town during lockdown when no toilets were open. We brought it with us be because I hadn't long had a baby and knew I would need to go while we were out. Because we live rurally we were too far to travel home.

Wetblanket78 · 31/01/2023 01:58

Red hot day in town wearing a little pair of denim shorts I felt like I had pissed meself but knew I hadn't. Looked down horrified to discover I blood on the crotch of shorts but I had come on unexpectedly early. Luckily I never leave the house without a jacket so tied a hoodie around my waist..I always have a couple of pads in my bag just in case. So curtosy of Debenhams toilets I sorted myself out until we got home.

AlwaysLatte · 31/01/2023 01:59

Please tell us you don’t use that jug for measuring anything. You keep it in the kitchen so I fear you do.
My thoughts too!!

Wetblanket78 · 31/01/2023 02:01

PS Uber eats deliveroo and just eat deliver essentials for desperate times like these.

SchoolTripDrama · 31/01/2023 02:03

Princesspollyyy · 30/01/2023 22:30

We only have one bathroom in our house and I'm regularly caught short. If I'm dying for a wee I use the measuring jug in the kitchen and pour it down the sink.

Never had to do that with a poo yet but been close.

That's revolting 🤢 I really hope you don't use that for food etc?

AlwaysLatte · 31/01/2023 02:05

I was sick in a friend's garden once. The husband was a director of a whisky company and we had far too many 'tastes' before dinner. Then we had what I thought was a delicious mushroom stroganoff, so I said yes please to a generous portion. Only it was kidneys. I thought it would be rude not to eat it. I spent the rest of the evening excusing myself 'for air' and yakking up in the garden. Like a previous poster, I used leaves to cover it.

Stonecod · 31/01/2023 02:15

Jeez. Did everyone read 'unglamorous moments' and translate it as 'most fucking disgusting moments?' 😬

emptythelitterbox · 31/01/2023 02:42

Let's see, which public humiliation to tell.

Got car sick in an uber and while trying to open the door to throw up outside, I didn't make it and threw up in my covid mask that was still on my face.

Fainted at the counter of the chemist while handing over money to the clerk.
Woke up on the floor surrounded by people and realised I had also vomited and my wig had fallen off.

CharlotteRose90 · 31/01/2023 03:05

MarmiteCoriander · 30/01/2023 22:55

That sounds awful @sunseaandme , but I wouldn't have said you have an excuse! Don't you wear any protective pads in case this happens? Sounds like it happens often for you?

There’s no need to be rude. Do you have crohns because if you don’t you can’t say anything. I have it so I know exactly what the poster is saying and believe me it is an excuse.

VeganFromSveden · 31/01/2023 03:29

Going back many many years ago..
two unrelated incidents-

taken home made fish (new jar) paste and salad sarnie to work with me.
ate it at my desk (we were allowed) durin late morning. Less than two hours later, uncontrolled vomiting into paper waste basket and simultaneously weeing and liquid shitting through my clothing and into office swivel chair. My head felt like it was going to explode and I was sweating copiously.
I was wheeled unceremoniously to the “ladies”, where I changed out of all my clothes into black plastic bin bags. I was taken home in a colleague’s car, and all the way, my insides were gurgling BIGtime and scaring me into praying that I wouldn’t damage colleagues car seat.
Gee… that was majorly horrid. When I was recovered enough a few days later to return to work, no one said a word… and my ruined office chair was nowhere to be seen.

other embarrassment was meeting up on a blind date on a freezing cold night at a pub. When I walked into the warm atmosphere, my eyes and nose tickled like mad, but I ignored it and carried on regardless.
my “date” was chatting away to me, when I finally had to excuse myself to go use the ladies, as I wanted to avoid a runny nose, ugh!
I got to the loo just in time to see blood pouring from my (never ever had one previously) nose.
so I spent a good ten minutes desperately trying to stem the flow.
I sat back opposite my date, and held a clean tissue close to my nose… just in case.
he carried on yakking away, and suddenly he stopped mid sentence and said “oh my god, your eyes are bleeding”….. I had successfully stopped my nose from bleeding, but I guess it had to escape SOMEwhere, so it was running out of my eyes.
gee, he said that he thought my head was gonna swivel off, and me turn into an alien!!
never saw him after that date…. not surprised really.
it didn’t help that was wearing contact lenses, and had to pop those out at the pub table 🫣

thank goodness that both happened nearly thirty year’s ago, but the embarrassment still makes me 😬 cringe.

tobee · 31/01/2023 03:31

Picking up ds from university just after 1st lockdown started, as pp said, no loos open. Desperate for a wee, well into long journey, I could not find anywhere like a wood to relieve myself. Plus it was totally dark. Eventually pulled into a tiny council office dark car park, ran to side of building but still in sight of road, but dark, so pull jeans and knickers down to do a huge wee. Fox must have run by or something as movement operated flood light thing came on to illuminate me to the whole road. But could not stop wee. Then when I got back to the car discovered my car key had fallen out of my pocket in my shock and had to return to scene of crime to fish car key out of wee puddle.

Dunnoburt · 31/01/2023 03:46

Walking down the canal.....familiar stomach pain....decided if I didn't go I was going to shit myself so I found a bush and pulled my kecks down........mid turd about 20 ramblers appeared around the corner...I quickly pulled trousers up resulting in half of my shit in my pants....it made for an interesting walk and drive home, ended up using (and discarding) my socks to wipe my arse when i got back to the car...🤣😑

kateandme · 31/01/2023 04:06

get a deliveroo op