I am currently wearing one of DD's nappies as a makeshift sanitary pad...what's the most unglamorous moment of your life so far?!

[BarbaraVineFan]

I have been on the coil since 2020 and literally never had a period or anything approaching one. Randomly tonight I have come on my period and had nothing in the house :/ no friends locally enough to ask and DD asleep so couldn't go to a shop.. Hence the nappy trick (which feels a bit like wearing an entire roll of loo roll in my knickers!)

I think this might be a new low in the unglamorous stakes, even for me. Can anyone top this?!

Please tell us you don’t use that jug for measuring anything. You keep it in the kitchen so I fear you do.

The measuring jug will be fine, don't worry

A few years ago DH was in the one and only loo with an upset stomach when I felt the sudden sweats and tummy gurgling.

Didn't know what to do, panicked, pulled my pants off in the kitchen and ran out to the back garden and squatted over one of the raised beds with my maxi dress covering me. Covered the crime scene with leaves and hoped for biograding.

A few weeks later a friend cane to visit with her dog who kept sniffing that part of the garden and she exclaimed look at that massive poo...you must have a huge fox in your garden. Mortified

I went on a very long dog walk in fields with dh and ddog. I desperately needed a shit, so I shat into one of the dog poo bags. Nobody saw, other than dh who was crying with laughter. On another very long dog walk, I shat in the woods and used a dog poo bag to pick it up as though it had been a dog turd. Again, dh wouldn't stop pissing himself so I told him he had to carry the shit bag. He did. And carried on laughing.

Pood into a black bag that was in a washing up bowl 2 weeks ago…

Partner was in loo and i literally had to go !

Judgy much?

Op I have done the same!

After the birth of dd1 I wasn't expecting my period back so soon - lochia had stopped and I didn't have a pad or tampon in my new change bag.

Was at my mums and asked her for one - turns out she had already completed menopause and so didn't have anything in - so a nappy it was!!

Better than nothing!

Maybe go and do some research into what it’s like to live with conditions like Crohns and Colitis before shooting your mouth off. Or alternatively just keep your thoughts to yourself.

Yep, you win! 🤣💩🐱

My dd was also once on the (very clean) beach aged 4. Said she needed the toilet. We began walking there, but it was a long way. She pulled her bottoms down and said "can't wait" and out came a turd that I caught with my bare hands and then carried it all the way to the toilet. Although I am a dirty bitch, I do make sure nobody is inconvenienced by my/my family's shit!

Good Lord - the Poo, Pee, Period and Adult Baby Trolls will have conniptions over all their dreams coming true at once with this thread.

Hard to chose between two low points. There was the time I was pregnant with my second baby. I had hypermemesis and threw up so hard that I also peed myself. Thank god I was in the kitchen and not in a carpeted room.
Then there was the time I had norovirus at work. I felt my guts rumbling, legged it for the loo and just made it and then puked on the cubicle floor. I considered just never going back to work again

Yep, you win! 🤣💩🐱

Despite the rest of the thread, I think most embarrassing 💩 was @MarmiteCoriander’s unnecessarily rude comment.

Desperate for a wee on the motorway, we hadn't moved for over an hour. Covered myself in a blanket and has a wee in a nappy! To be fair it worked pretty well, is always keep a couple in my car despite dc being out of nappies years ago!

LittleOllieOwl (on Reddit ) - I can only go on what my pooey friend told me. At least it was not me. I would not be sharing that.

I had norovirus not long ago. I was sat on the loo while vomiting in the bath on the side 🤢.

Wtf? What kind of comment is that

The one that springs to mind is wetting myself and vomiting at the same time when pregnant. Luckily in the privacy of my own bathroom, but I remember feeling like it was a really low moment as I was bent over the toilet bowl being sick and realised my pelvic floor had given up at the same time.

DH and I were trapped in our living room, the door was closed and it had a turn handle, which threaded so it wasn’t catching in the latch. We had to phone our only friend who lives within 20 miles to come let us out by opening the door from the outside. She, in turn, had to phone her mum to come and sit in the house with her sleeping children, it was 11pm.

So, while we’re waiting for friend to get to us I needed to pee. We actually discovered the door was jammed when I tried to leave the room to go to the toilet so by the time we messed about trying to fix it ourselves then phoned someone to come rescue us I was so desperate there was no holding it. Thankfully it was January, and there was a half eaten tub of celebrations in the living room…

You’ll be pleased to hear I tipped out the remaining sweets before I very nearly overflowed the tub.

How do you know she wasn’t wearing a pad at the time?

I ate a pessary. Asked the pharmacist for canesten oral but it obviously got lost in translation. Took myself off to the Greek hospital to mime "I ate the medicine that was supposed to go in my vagina" to a bunch of bemused doctors.

@StillMedusa all I can picture is the cat watching horrified 😅😅😅😅brilliant

We only have one bathroom in our house and I'm regularly caught short. If I'm dying for a wee I use the measuring jug in the kitchen and pour it down the sink.
I did this years ago when my lungs were packing up and my oxygen stats were verging on the level where your organs start to shut down. I was so exhausted l could barely manage the stairs (loo upstairs) so l used to pee into a measuring jug in the kitchen.

Most incongruous: hoiking my dress to urgently shit behind the safety barrier on the hard shoulder in broad daylight amongst the toilet paper and debris of others who had gone before, - on my way down to lunch at the House of Lords.

I’ve had the diarrhoea vs vomit dilemma on a couple of occasions and sat on the loo and aimed for the sink, and low point of motherhood was when tiny DD2 was on her changing mat and vomiting and spurting an arc of liquid diarrhoea onto the carpet with each retch. I had to focus on the head end for fear of her choking. I’d been up and down all night with her and the hollow knowledge that there was nobody in the house but me to deal with was just desperate.