I am currently wearing one of DD's nappies as a makeshift sanitary pad...what's the most unglamorous moment of your life so far?!

[BarbaraVineFan]

I have been on the coil since 2020 and literally never had a period or anything approaching one. Randomly tonight I have come on my period and had nothing in the house :/ no friends locally enough to ask and DD asleep so couldn't go to a shop.. Hence the nappy trick (which feels a bit like wearing an entire roll of loo roll in my knickers!)

I think this might be a new low in the unglamorous stakes, even for me. Can anyone top this?!

Jeez. Did everyone read 'unglamorous moments' and translate it as 'most fucking disgusting moments?'
😂😂I was thinking the same. I wasn't ready for this thread.

Thank you for defending me!! and the others that have too x

@jtaeapa this is true true true love 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

these are hilarious. I’m ill with a horrific bug and you’ve all cheered me right up xx

It's one of those I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, I have a stoma now so I'm past the shitting myself in public days but do get leaks on the bag.
I guess I should be wearing a pad for that too 😆

Hope your crohns is under control for you now lovely? x

DC was about 3 weeks old, in the early hours I fed, then went to change him ... I don't know why but my head was right down low, next to his bum ... he let loose and shat on my face, and all over my chest, just missing my hair. I almost burst into tears, but the situation was so horrific I had to laugh and he looked so damn cute and happy. Let's hope that's as bad as it gets 😬

@Suprima ·
You do all realise there are degenerate men wanking furiously to this, right?

So? They will wank over anything. Rather this than poor defenceless kids!

i used to volunteer for a national animal charity as a long distance driver transporting animals between shelters. I got stuck in gridlock behind an accident on the M1. Miles from services, nowhere I could sneak for a wee in a bush. I reached into the back of the van, grabbed a puppy pee training pad, laid it on the seat and relieved myself.

@Moidershewrote

had to puke into a Sainsbury’s bag in the car on the way home, only to find that the bag had those little air holes in the bottom !! I now know that Tesco is the way to go - every little helps !!

That is helpful (noting for future reference!)

OP here..I must say I wasn't expecting my thread to go quite in this direction! Feeling a bit sick now..

Out with some friends as a teenager and, with my epic nonchalance and bang-up-to-date early 2000s chav clothes, I was massively succeeding at impressing a local lad who everyone fancied. He offered to share a spliff with me which was code for "Let's go over here a bit and share a spliff then snog then maybe touch each others genitals for a bit".

We split from the group and found a quite corner. I hopped on top of a bin to smoke my spliff. My thinking was that I'd be at his level and I could hit him with my best sex eyes, and then when the snogging commenced he could stand between my open legs which I'd seen in films.

The bin with an open-top one, like a massive bucket.

I fell in. Arse first. Breached. Literally folded in half like a cardboard tube.
I dropped the spliff which burnt a hole in my McKenzie hoodie.
I was wedged. Literally wedged. I couldn't get out.
Hot Boy tried to help but I was stuck.
He called the others. They tried to help but I was absolutely wedged.
The fire brigade had to come and rescue me.
Fortunately this was in the days before camera phones.
Unfortunately MSN Messenger was a thing and it got around school within minutes.

Needless to say, Hot Boy didn't seem as keen on a snog once he'd seen me wedged in a bin.
However, we ended up in one of the same classes at college and started going out for a while.

@Picturesonthewall123
I have IBS and stupidly listened to my DH that most people can make it home and hold it when they need the toilet.

As usual someone who knows nothing about the symptoms giving advice!! I bet he doesn't even believe it is a 'thing' and you just need to control yourself!!!

both vomit related unfortunately. Pick between

• felt sick in Boots, ran down the stairs but only got as far as a corridor and had to throw up in a bin (still in the shop but stairs area so nobody saw)
• Travelsick on a train as I had to stand and couldn't see a window. Trying to avoid throwing up as we arrived at the next station I was going to get off for some air. Didn't make it and chucked up a little bit in my mouth and had to swallow it again.

When my newborn did an explosive poo over me when I was sitting in bed with him, wearing an open dressing gown and no underwear. Had shit all over my thighs and genitalia and pubic hair.

Exactly. There's probably some reprobate getting themselves off over a discussion about a new eco-cleaner on the housekeeping boards as we type. Nothing is safe.

Trying to stop DS's nosebleed on the London Underground when all I had was a sanitary pad was pretty unglamorous. And mostly ineffective. By the time we got off the tube he, I and his brother and sister (who wanted to "help") all looked like we'd been involved in a murder.

Well, OP you did start it

Gosh I've used nappies for sanitary pads several times. Dog poo bags for human poos many many times, especially during lockdown when everything was shut but the kids and I still wanted to be out for hours each day. Weed in a bucket in the car several times when post lockdown kids had activities but you weren't allowed in the clubhouse or wherever.
Giving birth probably my most unglamorous moments though!

@VeganFromSveden

I think yours must be the worst. I am always panicking that I will piss myself and everyone will know. It is worse because I have to take a wee tablet and then two other of the pills have a side effect that you piss for England. Not a genteel piddle but a full blown fuck off Tsunami.

😂 OMG

Threw up in a bin at a Theme Park.

Carrying dd’s poo in a Sainsbury’s bag round an NT property was a particular low point.

Not quite as bad as some posts, but I was on a small boat on a day trip in Turkey.
Needed a dump, but no loo on board & when we landed not a sand dune or tree in sight.
Swam out as fast as I could, dropped my bikini bottoms, & was then surrounded by fish gobbling my shit.

Didn't eat fish for years after that.

I don't understand why people are gleefully sharing, and some sound made up. Everyone has a story they could share I'm sure, but would prefer to keep private.

A few years ago I worked for a fancy high end cosmetic company that does all it's training in London. They get you there by train and put you up in a nice hotel with the other people on the course for the duration (four days)

I had travelled on a packed train to Euston for two hours, standing room only. I felt a bit queasy on arrival, put it down to travel sickness.

Checked in the room with my roomie - never met her before - she was 21 and I was 45 at this time so I felt a bit sorry for her that she had to share with an 'oldie' anyway we all went down to eat the buffet meal laid on.

Came back to the room and got ready for bed.. At this point I realised I had forgotten my pyjamas. Roomie lends me a t shirt (very kind) her a size 12, me a size 16 - it was like a sausage skin on me.

So I'm in bed in my knickers and this t-shirt and I start to sweat and shiver profusely. And I realise I'm going to be sick - run to the bathroom and as soon as I start being sick, I start with diarrhea, novovirus picked this moment.

So, I'm in the room with this stranger, vomiting, pooing, farting and splattering the bathroom from both ends.

Not only was the bathroom far from sound proof, but like lots of fancy hotels, the bathroom door was frosted GLASS. So essentially see through.

Spent the whole night vomiting and squirting poo and laying on the cold bathroom floor trying to cool down in between with room mate tentatively whispering "are you...Ok?" periodically.

When roomie went down for breakfast I scarpered, never to be seen again.