Should I lend my DH £13,000

[ladywithnomanors]

My DH and I have been together for 19 years. I had a good professional job when we met and I gave up said job after having children. I was then a sahm for 8 years while DH worked full time. During this time DH completely held the household purse strings as he was the one earning money.
Fast forward a few years and I got a minimum wage type part time job. By this time DH was earning £80,000 a year.
We have always had separate finances. He has been responsible for the main bills and I have paid council tax, water and sky.
We are married but the house is in his name.

I had a bereavement and have been left £87,000. I used a small amount to pay off a couple of credit cards i had but have left the majority in a savings account.

As I have a low paying job this money is a huge amount to me and i dont think I'll have this kind of lump sum in my account again.
Now to the question. DH has asked me to lend him 3.5k to pay his tax bill with the intent that he will get a bonus next month and he can pay me back. I am happy to do this. But he has now asked me to lend him £8.5k for a new triathlon pushbike. To me this is money we could spend on the house, a fantastic holiday for our family etc.
I have no doubt that he will pay me back - hes not the type to rip me off but it doesnt sit right with me. I couldn't spend this kind of money on a bike when we need a carpet upstairs etc. If i dont lend it to him he is hinting he will get a loan.
What do you think?
My Mum told me on her death bed not to let him have my money . They never got on.
Sorry for long post.

Don't give him a penny of your money. Use it to divorce the tight fisted bastard and get a place of your own.

hallefuckinglujah to that

I inherited quite a lot of money. It is my money held separately in my name. It is not matrimonial property. My husband has never referred to the money although he knows how much it was. He has never asked for a single thing to be bought from the money or to borrow any money from me. The only thing he has suggested was that if I got really fed up with my job, I could retire early if I wanted to. In due course he will inherit and again, it will remain his separate property.

Do not let this become matrimonial property. Do not lend him money. Do not put it in a joint account. Do not fritter it on carpet.

Lawyers aren't known for giving free legal advice -but here's mine. Divorce him and get every penny you are entitled to. He's going to whine, whinge and complain but find your inner terrier. Your financial future is dependent on getting everything you can - don't be soppy about not being greedy or that you can't take half his super - because he'll be trying to hold on to everything. Just think of him calling you a thief about the small change.

Listen to your mum