why was six nervous standing next to seven ?
because seven ate nine.
Alternatively: Because Seven was a registered Six-offender.
Variant to the fish one: Build a man a fire and you'll keep him warm for one evening; set a man on fire and you'll keep him warm for the rest of his life.
My 4yo DD has been learning Spanish for 6 months, but she still doesn't know how to say 'please'. I think that's poor for four....
My dog barks in a distinct Barcelona accent - he's a spaniel.
Definition of a Freudian slip: when you say one thing but mean your mother.
A white horse goes into a bar and the barmaid says "That's a coincidence - we sell a whisky named after you."
The horse looks amazed and says "Wow, you sell a whisky called Eric Perkins?!"
A blind man goes to the fairground and, to the surprise of the stallholder, turns out to be brilliant at darts. He hits the target right in the middle and the man asks what prize he wants. He replies "Oh, whatever you think I'd like", so the man hands him a pet tortoise.
The blind man comes back the next day, repeats the feat and goes away with another tortoise. Then the same happens again for the next four days.
On the seventh day, the blind man returns, hits the darts target and wins again, and the stallholder says "Hey, how about I find you a different prize this time - you must have enough of those by now?!"
The blind man replies "Don't you dare! It's become the highlight of my daily routine to come here each morning, have a go at the darts and then enjoy a delicious super-crusty pasty for lunch!"