Offered something on Facebook .. now confronted by harrassment

[listsandbudgets]

Luckily I'm quite robust and couldn't give a damn but for your entertainment

I'm having a big clear out and putting things in Facebook and olio for people to take.

This morning I listed a play pen on a local group and after about half an hour.got a message from a lady who will come.and take.it this evening.. brilliant.

Just before marking it as taken gone got a message from.someone else

"Need this .. please drop off at X address between 3 and 5pm today" I replied saying it was taken and anyway collection only and left it at that.

Then received

" I can't believe you would give it away without even asking why I need it I bet I need it more than anyone else "

"You're so selfish I bet you sold it instead"

"You don't care about anything but clearing out your house you couldn't give a sh*t about a young mum like me"

"If you've got any other children's stuff message me and you can drop it over tomorrow, I need things"

"You obviously don't care if my child gets hurt because they dont have a play pen.. youve got to give it to me, dont be heartless"

" How am I supposed to come and get it Ive got children you need to drop it off today"

I ignored her and blocked her and now receiving stroppy messages from another person saying they're her friend, I'm victimising her,.I shouldn't just give things away without talking to people about what they need it for everyone deserves a chance..

and best of all:

" you should be dying of shame for treating a young mum like this I hope you carry the guilt.to your dying day"

WTAF ?????

I've blocked them too and await next messages with interest. I strongly suspect they "friend" is also her. I am having quite a boring day cleaning out the loft so this is brightening it up no end

Oh god!,
What psychos...!!
Hope you don't get anymore harassment.

Yes, issues there, best not to engage, hard to win sometimes in this day and age ..

i m glad he wasnt creepy. i will never sell on ebay and gumtree again. prefer to donate to school and charities. its totally unacceptable that somebody loaded has something that someone with absolutely nothing would really benefit from . i hate those downright greedy wealthy people who barter with you. i dont rush to the deli counter anymore from the 75% offs as somone who is genuinely starving should have it

Ugh! Every bad experience I’ve ever had on the buy and sell platforms have involved giving items away for free. It’s an absolute nightmare! I just give to the charity shop now instead.

100%

NextDoor can be just as bad. We had someone posting on our local group just before Christmas asking for help with food as she didn’t have enough to last her until payday.

All the comments about contacting food banks and/or local charity groups were ignored. Several people offered to get her things and someone else asked if she had enough now. Her response was along the lines of “Still a few bits I need, will PM you a list”.

Given that that isn’t the first time I’ve seen her directly asking for donations, folding money says she was just getting people to buy her Christmas food for her

Usually a beaten up sofa that they can't be arsed to take to the tip!

Just report her to the group admin and let them deal with her

Wow that is the strangest request ever and I thought I had some weird people messaging over the years. Selling a new pair of shoes on Karrot the gent asked could I put them on and send him a pic please he asked about three times. Unwanted perfume gift also on Karrot a lady was angry I would not drop off 15 miles away.
The worst was when I sold a new Union Jack Roberts radio on ebay the guy came seen it working inspected it and was happy. Few hours later I received a nasty message with pics of a scuffed radio saying he needed me to refund half the money. Thankfully ebay sorted him out it seems he was a collector of Roberts radios especially limited edition ones. The pics of the radio he sent was one he purchased previously second hand.

How incredibly selfish of you op. You didn't ask if any of us wanted it first

This just about killed me! I was thinking the same funny reply only mine was, shall I stop at the local McDonald's and grab everyone some burgers, fries and shakes?

This thread is making me very glad that I don’t give things away for free on sites like FB and freecycle!

I have given loads of furniture and household items away to Emmaus (who featured on Nick Knowles Big house clearout this week). They take all sorts of stuff and sometimes upcycle damaged furniture if it can make a profit. They always collect when they say they will and don’t moan about my stairs (1st floor flat). I found BHF too choosy (wouldn’t take a washer-dryer in perfect working order as the dryer bit is too risky) so that went to my housing association who provide furniture and white goods to people just getting started with tenancies or fleeing DV).

I did sell a sofa on FB last week and thankfully that went okay (the CF offers came from EBay)

I’m having a clothing clearout today so going to try Vinted for the first time, wish me luck!

On the group a local woman and I admin, we are very strict. If someone doesn't turn up twice we ask members to let us know and they are removed from the group. All replies must be "Please may I ask for this" or words to that effect but must have please and thank you.

It works very well and group is very friendly. We've had some amazing things gifted and during Covid we allowed wanted posts as people couldn't get out or found it hard getting clothes and shoes or were finding their funds severely impacted.

We have had a few loons though.

One woman joined the group and someone offered a washing machine. We ask for the person offering to say whereabouts they are and if it's to be collected or whether they can possibly deliver or if they won't be able to help move an item.

Anyway, washing machine said it was in X area, lady was sadly unable to deliver and wouldn't be able to help move it due to age.

New member jumps straight in with "want it".
So first rule break and these are made clear when they ask to be added and are pinned.

They immediately got a few replies from long-term members regarding the lack of manners and instead of apologising they got really angry!

The elderly lady with the machine didn't respond to her but responded to a guy underneath who politely asked and said he could collect with his mate and his mates van. Elderly lady said yes that would be great please message me for address.

Well. It unleashed hell.

Rude woman then starts swearing and threatening the old lady, the guy who asked nicely, the people on the group. You name it. Apparently she was going to track down where we all lived and we could all see if we had the "nuts" then to "slag her off".

It was amazing.

Elderly lady said if she had just been polite she could've collected it but she wasn't, so tough. Rude woman then says "I couldn't fucking collect it, if you want it gone you should fucking deliver".

At this point, group absolutely goes in on her, as the elderly lady has offered many lovely things as she was downsizing. Lots of us had met her and knew what a sweetheart she was. In fact, when she moved from her home to a residential bungalow, a number of members helped move here in with what she had left to take with her, as she had no family in the country.

I then get a sweary rant about the situation by rude lady. I should kick them all out the group. She asked first. She was going to look out for both the guy and the elderly woman.

I removed her from the group which triggered her threatening me! I blocked her.

We had the mad thread as a screen grab at the pinned bit of the page on rules as a "if you are like this please do not join".

I have to say, the rest of the members were brilliant and had a good session of many GIFs and memes in the comments.

Wow, I had no idea this was going on! This thread has been an eye-opener for me! I'll think twice about putting stuff on FB or Nextdoor. Charity shops all the way for me. We have several of them in the town - although one of them has marked themselves out as being rather unfriendly - they behave as if somehow they are above the other charity shops. They have all sorts of rules of what you can drop of, how and when on a specific day of the week. Once I called them to find out if they needed any shopping bags - they seemed offended that I even asked. The charity shop next door gratefully took them and told me they always needed shopping bags and they will take any other donations any time. This second charity shop is always full of customers, while the lofty one - three times as big - is virtually empty as they are so overpriced!

No way did you deserve being spoke to like that. Block them both and let them get on with it. I have someone who tries to buy off me regularly on marketplace but then never arrives to collect so I’ve blocked them now .

These threads never cease to amaze me - the entitlement of some people.

I don't know if it is a sense of entitlement so much as paranoia. I think these are poorly educated people with poor social skills who were probably raised in the same chaotic fashion by their own parents.

Behind the rudeness and anger seems to be a real fear that someone will 'get something over on them'. I think they probably live in a world where they don't fully understand a lot of the systems they are stuck in (housing, etc) and so feel constantly persecuted.

I think you're probably right there. People are not well brought-up to become well-rounded adults and are effectively locked in a toddler mindset all their lives; then, of course, they only know how to bring their own children up the same way.

I know there are some people who are just on the look-out for profit - free stuff they can sell on; but unless they're drug addicts or otherwise socially 'compromised', surely they would know to pretend to be polite and respectable in order to get what they want, even if they're absolute scum in reality. Even the phone scammers will begin their pitch with "I'm very sorry to tell you, Madam, but your computer has a virus; but don't worry, I can help you" - they don't barrel straight on in with "You need to give me £100 NOW, you [insert insult]!"

Ask for her address you can discuss it in person, bet she's not too keen when not behind her keyboard, that's if it is even a mum, probably a nutter looking for an argument.

its astonishing how many tears there are out there, such a shame though because they genuinely ruin it for a lot of other people who are actually appreciative or generous of nature. Block and move on and don’t get too disillusioned, there will be other folk out there who will say thank you!

Blimey…. She’s probably desperate to sell it on to fund a drug habit!! Sounds to angry to be sober!!

Anyway I’d be sending her messages into the group admin and saying how abusive she’s been/being.

Put on future ads ‘first to message gets - collection only - no exceptions’ 😂

List for a small fee, that usually keeps the people just after freebees away. Even if when they arrive you say ‘I don’t actually want anything’…
just keeps the nutters away

When I'm giving something away for free, not on Facebook, I list it for a low price then just give it for free if the person has been decent and hasn't messed me around, if not they get charged the listed low price.

Had she messaged and said ‘please can I be next as I’m desperate, also if you have any other childrens stuff please could you consider me?’

however I still think she’s cheeky asking for delivery and just expecting people to run around for her!

my mum once gave something away and was asked to deliver for fuel… she took it and the woman said ‘sorry I don’t have any cash and shut the door!’ Never again!

Hi guys. I dont do Facebook. It has so many reprobates and out and out flat earth nutters. Didnt know you could buy and sell things on FB. While im here id like to ask if anyone wants to buy my house?
Collection only.

Dont know why my message came out like that. Im a novice.

Report her on Facebook (if you know how - I wouldn't!).