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Original poster

Offered something on Facebook .. now confronted by harrassment

343 replies

listsandbudgets · 13/01/2023 13:41

Luckily I'm quite robust and couldn't give a damn but for your entertainment

I'm having a big clear out and putting things in Facebook and olio for people to take.

This morning I listed a play pen on a local group and after about half an hour.got a message from a lady who will come.and take.it this evening.. brilliant.

Just before marking it as taken gone got a message from.someone else

"Need this .. please drop off at X address between 3 and 5pm today" I replied saying it was taken and anyway collection only and left it at that.

Then received

" I can't believe you would give it away without even asking why I need it I bet I need it more than anyone else "

"You're so selfish I bet you sold it instead"

"You don't care about anything but clearing out your house you couldn't give a sh*t about a young mum like me"

"If you've got any other children's stuff message me and you can drop it over tomorrow, I need things"

"You obviously don't care if my child gets hurt because they dont have a play pen.. youve got to give it to me, dont be heartless"

" How am I supposed to come and get it Ive got children you need to drop it off today"

I ignored her and blocked her and now receiving stroppy messages from another person saying they're her friend, I'm victimising her,.I shouldn't just give things away without talking to people about what they need it for everyone deserves a chance..

and best of all:

" you should be dying of shame for treating a young mum like this I hope you carry the guilt.to your dying day"

WTAF ?????

I've blocked them too and await next messages with interest. I strongly suspect they "friend" is also her. I am having quite a boring day cleaning out the loft so this is brightening it up no end

OP posts:
mumda · 13/01/2023 20:38

You have to treat it more like a game.
And laugh at them and block.

QueenofallIsee · 13/01/2023 20:46

Ooo I can share my own story from years ago that still makes my teeth clench! It’s a long one as I am still pissed off after probably a decade.
I was giving away a series of things for free on a local Facebook freecycle type page - the post said each time ‘please message me directly for arrangements etc.
Under every single post (from action figures to Kitchen items and everything in between) within 30 seconds a woman wrote simply ‘mine’. No please, no message, just the word ‘mine’. I did however have lovely messages from other people and so ignored the women modelling herself after the seagulls from Finding Nemo.
24 hours later having marked various items as ‘pending collection’ I had outraged comments on each ‘this is MINE and you can’t give them away’ and then one message full of profanity and demands for compensation. I told her to get fucked.
THEN I had the admins of the site contact me to state I am in breach of the site rules and I had a legal (wtf?) obligation to provide all items to ‘mine’ woman. I told them that I would donate wherever I damn well please thanks very much. THEN they stated that any future items needed to be offered to ‘mine’ woman as first refusal and that they wanted the names of each person who had collected something from me in order that they can compensate her for her losses. I told them they were clearly mental and to give her their own shit if the cared that much. Then I was booted from the group!

Fucking insane all of them

BlueMongoose · 13/01/2023 20:51

PigeonPerchingOnMyWall · 13/01/2023 13:49

Free stuff always seems to bring out the nutters. Every item I have put stuff on gumtree for free has attracted cheeky rude people.

We've used freecycle for things we no longer needed. We haven't had wierdos, but we've had lots of people saying they want stuff and then just never turning up for it, sometimes bleating one (not very convincing) excuse after another, sometimes they don't turn up and we never hear from them again, and some turn up but never say a word of thanks. Luckily we have also had nice people who come when they say they will and actually manage a 'thankyou'.

Now people get about 24 hours to get back to us and arrange to collect within a few days, and one go at actually turning up. Fail on either, it goes to whoever asked next.

BlueMongoose · 13/01/2023 21:03

Ariela · 13/01/2023 15:31

I have had similar, including people who were VERY rude about a free table that I actually delivered, it was as described, pine. When I knocked on the door they said 'Oh dear it's pine not sure we want it' I said 'you're having it as it was supposed to be for collection and it's here now, I'm not taking it home. You can always paint it' Luckily they thought painting it would be a good idea and shut up (still no thank you for delivering it).

What I do now is advertise it for a reasonably moderate price and then say if you can collect by x time then it's free, you can donate the ££ to charity, which a) people think its great and b) ensures it goes quickly, and actually goes.

That's a great idea.

BlueSummerBaby · 13/01/2023 21:03

sold something recently, a fairly cheap item. Got a message from A asking if it was still available, I said it was. A few minutes later another message came through asking to take it that day at 5pm, so I accepted. I then told person A it was now pending collection and they lost it - demanded to know whether I had made it up because ‘10 minutes ago it was free’, ‘I bet you just don’t want to sell it to me’ etc.

Did I break some kind of etiquette? I was always under the impression the first person to make an arrangement to collect had the item, rather than just the first person to ask about it?

No you didn't break any rules, it's yours, you can do what you like with it. You don't owe random strangers anything, including giving them time to arrange collection or for payday to come round etc. While you're waiting for them you could lose a sale from someone else then they could cancel anyway.

My rule is, it's for sale until it's paid for. I give to the first sane person who can collect. You want to collect in 3 days Tim? Fine, but you risk losing it to someone who can come sooner. I vet profiles for signs of dodginess and if someone seems like a bellend they're blocked without a reply. "Is it still available?" with no other info is ignored too.

My pet hate is when they send someone to collect who isn't them. I don't like random strangers coming to my door, I want to deal with the person I've been messaging.

Comeonbarbiebrianharvey · 13/01/2023 21:09

My friend got verbal abuse once because she wouldn't; without fuel money; deliver a (free) cooker 30miles and lift it to a 3rd floor flat on her own. Then drive 30miles home

I put a £2 baby dressing gown on once, oh my.... 1st place "Can you hold and message me tomorrow to remind me and I don't have transport" 2nd place -when can you collect? "Well first I have to get a fuel cap for my car, as you know I cannot drive without a fuel cap..."

Thumbs up, block, put it in charity bag.

londonrach · 13/01/2023 21:09

About four years ago our TV failed just before Christmas...I asked on local site if anyone selling a TV but sadly need it delivered. Didn't care if posh (happy with big back) just working. Someone said I could have TV, not big back, for £20 (about 18 inch not big but had a toddler so over the moon). Lady arrived and very kindly set it up...toddler in great excitement on seeing a working TV....I handed her £20 and thanked her so much for delivery. Lady no thank you to my £20 and merry Christmas...never forgot that. We still. Using same TV (only one we have) but that merry Christmas made my year...

gravyriceandchips · 13/01/2023 21:22

In my experience if it's free it brings out the loons. Better putting it on for a low fee then just refusing the money.

gravyriceandchips · 13/01/2023 21:22

Don't let it get to you op x

Dogsogdog · 13/01/2023 21:36

I got a barrage of abuse for refusing to deliver a free L shaped sofa 20 miles away, I drove a fiesta but apparently should have hired a van !

Echobelly · 13/01/2023 21:53

PeachyPoppedBack · 13/01/2023 18:23

I always reply is this still available because I’m autistic and it’s one of the standard relies offered- easiest to use set replies than guess. Never realised that was classed as rude. I’ll find an alternative.

Ultimately it’s yours to do with as you wish though.

Show quote history

It's not that I find it rude, per se, but a fuller reply, especially if they offer a time soon they can pick up looks a better bet than a reply that's quick but doesn't offer any further info. As PPs have suggested, if you can say something like 'If it's available, I could pick up at X time/on X days' will encourage people to offer

PeachyPoppedBack · 13/01/2023 21:55

I always wait until I know it’s available because I tend to fit around them for collection, being home based. If anything the last two purchases I’ve had to nag the sellers (after they’ve agreed to sell to me) to get a time and address

HarryBlaster · 13/01/2023 22:09

Trolls. That can’t be real surely!!

Twanky · 13/01/2023 22:12

Coyoacan · 13/01/2023 16:59

Thank heavens you are resilient, OP. Unfortunately poverty does affect people's mental health

More likely greed, wanting free stuff to sell on, nothing to do with mental health.

Maytodecember · 13/01/2023 22:17

I sold a fairly new desktop computer, probably very cheaply. Couple of days later the woman phoned me again and wanted me to go to her house and set it up. Apparently she couldn’t make it type in Farsi and thought I should be able to do that for her…

Zzoomburr · 13/01/2023 22:17

I put a cabin bed on Freecycle. I included dimensions, and added that it would need dismantling. After several time wasters who said they’d have it then disappeared, it finally seemed that someone was interested and we arranged a pick up time. A couple with a child turned up in a mini, inspected the bed and said it wouldn’t fit in the car 🤣. I just ignored the blatant hints for me to deliver it.

Twillow · 13/01/2023 22:53

Nanny0gg · 13/01/2023 18:37

I wouldn't have done that. Give the first person a chance to arrange collection.

Think you were wrong there

Show quote history

Disagree, sorry. First person to arrange collection is entirely reasonable - the seller shouldn't have to be doing the asking/waiting. There aren't any rules as such though, you're the seller, you do what you like!

Twillow · 13/01/2023 22:56

QueenofallIsee · 13/01/2023 20:46

Ooo I can share my own story from years ago that still makes my teeth clench! It’s a long one as I am still pissed off after probably a decade.
I was giving away a series of things for free on a local Facebook freecycle type page - the post said each time ‘please message me directly for arrangements etc.
Under every single post (from action figures to Kitchen items and everything in between) within 30 seconds a woman wrote simply ‘mine’. No please, no message, just the word ‘mine’. I did however have lovely messages from other people and so ignored the women modelling herself after the seagulls from Finding Nemo.
24 hours later having marked various items as ‘pending collection’ I had outraged comments on each ‘this is MINE and you can’t give them away’ and then one message full of profanity and demands for compensation. I told her to get fucked.
THEN I had the admins of the site contact me to state I am in breach of the site rules and I had a legal (wtf?) obligation to provide all items to ‘mine’ woman. I told them that I would donate wherever I damn well please thanks very much. THEN they stated that any future items needed to be offered to ‘mine’ woman as first refusal and that they wanted the names of each person who had collected something from me in order that they can compensate her for her losses. I told them they were clearly mental and to give her their own shit if the cared that much. Then I was booted from the group!

Fucking insane all of them

wtf!

ForgetBarbie · 13/01/2023 23:00

ForestLilac · 13/01/2023 13:47

Yor a discusting person oP hope you now that hun xxx

🤣🤣🤣

Twillow · 13/01/2023 23:03

Freecycle can be quite amusing/sad for the 'wanted' posts. Lots of 'I need a tv for my kids'. 'Need sofa as mine has broke'. No please etc.

mousehousehiest · 13/01/2023 23:03

you have their address? I'd be dropping something off today. 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩

QueenofallIsee · 13/01/2023 23:07

@Twillow I know! I was spitting with rage for days afterwards.

EasterIssland · 13/01/2023 23:50

Op hope you’re ok and haven’t been banned on fb and mn :).

BruceAndNosh · 14/01/2023 00:54

QueenofallIsee · 13/01/2023 23:07

@Twillow I know! I was spitting with rage for days afterwards.

MINE!

red4321 · 14/01/2023 06:06

A couple with a child turned up in a mini, inspected the bed and said it wouldn’t fit in the car 🤣. I just ignored the blatant hints for me to deliver it.

We had the same experience with a double garden hammock that unsurprisingly wouldn't fit in her mini. We did take pity and drop it off as it was only 5 minutes away and we wanted it gone.

But it comes back to the sheer entitlement. People do not owe you their worldly possessions.

If you want an up-to-date 50 inch smart tv or nearly new corner sofa in brown leather, do what the rest of us do and get off your backside and work for it. Not expect anyone in a 50 mile radius to deliver theirs to you at no cost and with no thanks.

I'm all for the environmental and charitable benefits of freecycling but not for the utter piss-takers.

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