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Would you be okay with a 10 year old using the ladies?

227 replies

helpinghandinhisname · 30/12/2022 18:42

Accompanied by their carer obviously

The disabled toilet was locked, there were two and both weren't responding to the access key this poor woman had

She had a very clearly disabled boy with her. He was in need of a change and crying, ripping at her coat and trying to bite and scratch her. No verbal words, just very flight risky and tried bolting off a few times. He had what looked like toddler reins on but obviously not exactly toddler ones

I say age 10 but that's generous, he was probably about 11/12. As tall as the woman etc and she wasn't tiny

She gave up then after he successful did manage to bite into her arm and marched him into the ladies

My friend was tutting and looked ready to say something, pretty much doing that look as if she was about to speak if the woman looked in her direction

I said leave her be. She said it was disgusting she was bringing such an older child into the toilet when he wasn't a small child or under 8/9.

I said she was desperate, leave her be

She said 'whatever, it isn't right and I'm shocked you're standing for it'. It seemed to ruin the mood of our coffee out then and we haven't text since!

Would you be okay with a much older boy using a woman's toilet if they're with a carer?

Obviously, this isn't a trans argument and nobody 'identifying' as a woman should be using the ladies toilet.

This really isn't about that so I would appreciate if we could avoid that argument Blush

OP posts:
Alwayswonderedwhy · 31/12/2022 16:06

I wouldn't have an issue with a 10yr old boy being in the ladies disabled or not. In this situation I can't see why anyone would be bothered.

Speedweed · 31/12/2022 16:07

He's being supervised by a female carer and obviously has special needs - I wouldn't have a problem with it on this basis even if he was much older.

CleoandRalf · 31/12/2022 16:07

Of course, but I don’t align with this big bad man in the toilet story many on here peddle so might not be the best barometer

SouperNoodle · 31/12/2022 16:08

Your friend sounds like a prick tbh. Anyone who'd have an issue with this is clearly void of empathy.

AllOfThemWitches · 31/12/2022 16:08

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Sirzy · 31/12/2022 16:12

All this does is highlight how awful disabled facilities are that carers are being put in the position of having to take such an undignified option for the person in their care.

Bigdamnheroes · 31/12/2022 16:15

@AllOfThemWitches I wonder if you would still be having a giggle if it was your 9 year old held down with a towel over her face and raped?

PTSD isn't funny. You're a vile person and I hope your children don't endure what I had to. I really don't think its unreasonable to be traumatised by that.

lifeinthelastlane · 31/12/2022 16:17

No one should minimise what you've experienced, though I feel sorry for the mother (and the boy) in this scenario as well.
Flowers

Bigdamnheroes · 31/12/2022 16:17

And yes I probably would attack a child. Not knowingly but in blind panic to get out, yeah anyone between me and the door would get hurt. I wouldn't mean to but it would possibly happen.

IndieK1d · 31/12/2022 16:18

Bigdamnheroes · 31/12/2022 16:17

And yes I probably would attack a child. Not knowingly but in blind panic to get out, yeah anyone between me and the door would get hurt. I wouldn't mean to but it would possibly happen.

Are you getting therapy for your issues?

x2boys · 31/12/2022 16:20

Bigdamnheroes · 31/12/2022 16:15

@AllOfThemWitches I wonder if you would still be having a giggle if it was your 9 year old held down with a towel over her face and raped?

PTSD isn't funny. You're a vile person and I hope your children don't endure what I had to. I really don't think its unreasonable to be traumatised by that.

I'm sorry you went tthrough that but you can't go round attacking vulnerable disabled children ,because you are not in control of your emotions ,you really need to.get some help.if you feel you can't control your actions .

Legoninjago1 · 31/12/2022 16:21

No, I would not have a problem with this given the circumstances. I definitely would have a problem with an adult male in the toilet though. Any adult male.

x2boys · 31/12/2022 16:21

Bigdamnheroes · 31/12/2022 16:17

And yes I probably would attack a child. Not knowingly but in blind panic to get out, yeah anyone between me and the door would get hurt. I wouldn't mean to but it would possibly happen.

You really need help .

maddy68 · 31/12/2022 16:21

No problem at all

Bigdamnheroes · 31/12/2022 16:26

I physically wouldn't be able to help it. Yes I am getting therapy. Have been for years but bathrooms really trigger me. He kept pushing my face under the tap so I couldn't breathe to make me stop crying. Coming face to face with a male in a ladies toilet would trigger a massive flashback and reaction that I cannot control. If I know he is there then I can brace for it. You should Google flashbacks. Then you'll understand what I'm trying to describe. In that moment, I don't see a child. I see my attacker.

Emmamoo89 · 31/12/2022 16:27

I wouldn't have an issue with that. Your friends an arsehole

locamotions · 31/12/2022 16:27

I'm sorry you went tthrough that but you can't go round attacking vulnerable disabled children ,because you are not in control of your emotions ,you really need to.get some help.if you feel you can't control your actions

This with bells on!

CleoandRalf · 31/12/2022 16:29

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lifeinthelastlane · 31/12/2022 16:30

@Bigdamnheroes I think you are entitled to use the disabled toilets to ensure you are not surprised by any men or male children (I don't know if you already do this). The way things are going these days it does sound safer for you to do this.

Bigdamnheroes · 31/12/2022 16:31

I manage fine in the general population thank you as long as I'm not accosted in the toilet by males who shouldn't be there.

Funny how a disabled males rights are more important than a disabled females rights in a space designated FOR females.

x2boys · 31/12/2022 16:32

Bigdamnheroes · 31/12/2022 16:26

I physically wouldn't be able to help it. Yes I am getting therapy. Have been for years but bathrooms really trigger me. He kept pushing my face under the tap so I couldn't breathe to make me stop crying. Coming face to face with a male in a ladies toilet would trigger a massive flashback and reaction that I cannot control. If I know he is there then I can brace for it. You should Google flashbacks. Then you'll understand what I'm trying to describe. In that moment, I don't see a child. I see my attacker.

I have every sympathy for you but I have e a disabled ,extremely vulnerab!e child,if you attacked him.my sympathies wouldn't lie, with you ,I would be protecting my son and ,I would do everything in my power to have you prosecuted ,my child can't protect himself he doesn't have the cognitive ability too .

x2boys · 31/12/2022 16:34

Bigdamnheroes · 31/12/2022 16:31

I manage fine in the general population thank you as long as I'm not accosted in the toilet by males who shouldn't be there.

Funny how a disabled males rights are more important than a disabled females rights in a space designated FOR females.

It's not about rights,you can't attack disabled children wether they should be in the toilets or not .

CleoandRalf · 31/12/2022 16:34

Bigdamnheroes · 31/12/2022 16:31

I manage fine in the general population thank you as long as I'm not accosted in the toilet by males who shouldn't be there.

Funny how a disabled males rights are more important than a disabled females rights in a space designated FOR females.

Disabled children.

You clearly aren’t quite fit for general life if you’d attack disabled children.

Schoolchoicesucks · 31/12/2022 16:34

She took the only option available to her, so no, I would have no issue with this.

@bigdamn, sorry for what you've been through and I hope you are able to access support. Are you able to use disabled toilets in order to have access to private space with no other users? May have been no use in this situation if the disabled toilets were locked and radar keys wouldn't open them, but I would expect the impact on you of encountering an unexpected older boy in the women's toilets with your PTSD would make you eligible.

Bigdamnheroes · 31/12/2022 16:36

It is honestly threads like this that make me wish he'd just killed me. Unbelievable that a little girl is raped and waterboarded and spends the rest of her life being shamed for it and told its her fault.

I'm going to bow out here because I could really do with not feeling like a piece of worthless shit for a bit so if I don't reply its because I haven't seen it.

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