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Original poster

DH told us all to fuck ourselves over dinner

434 replies

mourndayclub · 25/12/2022 15:45

Thought we could make it through the holidays but that crashed and burned today in spectacular style. DH wanted to have the dog in the dining room and I said I'd her her away as she'd been retching and being sick (MIL unintentionally let her eat a whole load of sheep poo) plus she's a puppy which harasses the kids if there's food.

Because I said no and just complained about it he started shouting and telling me to get out of the kitchen but again I said no because I was trying to dish up potato's and veg, bent to pick up some stuffing from the floor so MIL didn't step on it and he went absolutely crazy told me MIL my DF DSis and all DC to fuck ourselves, fuck off, flipped the double finger at us all and took the dog to the pub. Had dinner without him and now he's returned and pretending it never happened in the living room loving on the dog when all he's done is snapped at the children and me today and then blown up.

Happy Christmas everyone!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
mourndayclub · 25/12/2022 17:01

Now we're all playing articulate while he's in the living room probably sleeping

OP posts:
GonnaGetGoingReturns · 25/12/2022 17:02

What’s he like the rest of the year? I’d be very surprised if he was lovely then either.

At Christmas and in front of all the family is appalling behaviour. I hope he doesn’t think that if his mum has a word with him and he’s apologetic that he gets away with it.

There’s a very good reason why lots of divorces happen after Christmas.

NerrSnerr · 25/12/2022 17:03

mourndayclub · 25/12/2022 17:01

Now we're all playing articulate while he's in the living room probably sleeping

Your children will be terrified of him doing it again. They'll also be scared to tell you how sad it has made them because they're looking at you pretending it's fine and they won't want to be the ones to ruin your day. They will be on complete eggshells.

BCBird · 25/12/2022 17:04

Try to remember whose behaviour is out of order here. You are not responsible for hos appalling behaviour,so therefore guilt is not needed. Ignore the selfish ass hole and try and enjoy it as best as you all can.

2catsandhappy · 25/12/2022 17:04

I have read that people who are having affairs get angry and bottled up when spending time with spouses and dc. It comes out with manufactured arguments and rage at the innocent. Could this be it do you think?
I hope 2023 will be completely different for you and dc.

Cruisebabe1 · 25/12/2022 17:05

My dad was like this every Christmas when I was growing up. It’s not fair on you it’s not fair on your children . Enough is enough now.

MissyB1 · 25/12/2022 17:05

Those poor kids growing up with that stress and fear. You must leave him OP, this will be screwing up your kids.

Bananalanacake · 25/12/2022 17:10

Does he throw a tantrum only at Christmas or more often, either way you know it's best to leave.

3WildOnes · 25/12/2022 17:10

Why the fuck are you with him? He sounds awful. Do yourself and your kids a favour and leave him

Name99 · 25/12/2022 17:10

mourndayclub · 25/12/2022 17:00

No last year the younger kids didn't witness it, this year it was the entire family just sat down for dinner

So what are you going to do about it.
Are you going to get your kids away from this abusive situation?

LorenzoVonMatterhorn · 25/12/2022 17:11

Your poor children are being groomed into thinking abuse is the standard. That's their life ahead of them.

and how do you know he was at the pub?

what is your line in the sand for you and your children? What level of abuse do you think is enough and you and your children deserve jot to have that in your lives?

the ‘merry christmas everyone’ at the endnof your op was chilling because it seems youve accepted this life for your children. how will they learn abuse is not ok if theyve just seen you and your husband show them it is?

Original poster
mourndayclub · 25/12/2022 17:12

He told us all he was going to the pub. And it's in the village he didn't take the car

OP posts:
TheaBrandt · 25/12/2022 17:12

He’s heading towards a very lonely old age isn’t he?

Soothsayer1 · 25/12/2022 17:16

OP, I'm so sorry you're having to endure this prat eejit person, I hope you will soon be released from the misery of his company

Soothsayer1 · 25/12/2022 17:18

I hope this is your line in the sand and you can find the path to a better life for you and the children🙏
please start putting yourself and them ahead of him

Hellybelly84 · 25/12/2022 17:18

If thats not the last straw, I really dont know what is. At least your whole family has seen and you wont need an explanation for leaving him! What a horrible person he is!

Dexionmagic · 25/12/2022 17:18

So last year he just told you to FO.
This year he was more aggressive and told everyone to FO.

Whats he going to do next? Either next Christmas or before that?

I can’t see things lasting, he needs to go or at the very least some serious intervention and contrition.

CindersSootyShoo · 25/12/2022 17:19

Please protect your children from any more of this.

LargeglassofRosePlease · 25/12/2022 17:22

WeepingSomnambulist · 25/12/2022 15:51

You said that you thought you could at least make it through the holidays but then he exploded... as if you half expected it. Because this is normal behaviour from him?

Just why? Why are you with him? Why are so many women with abusive, nasty, horrible men? And why do you always think they'll step up and change and give you a nice xmas/birthday/whatever day but they dont and you just... put up with it.

You know who he is. You know how he treats you. Now it is up to you. Stay and accept that this is your life or grow a backbone and leave.

Easier said than done. Especially when you are in that situation.

I have been there.

Bottom line is that it sounds like there is no respect from your husband. Not for you and also not for anyone else.

You literally have two options- to carry on putting up with that kind of shit or you do something about it.

Big hugs . That’s really fucking shit. Especially on Christmas Day 💕

PrinceHaz · 25/12/2022 17:23

This was abuse. Horrifying that your children had to witness this. How traumatic for everyone, but especially them.
Have you thought about leaving him?

Miss03852 · 25/12/2022 17:24

Narcissists love to ruin special occasions like birthdays, Christmas etc.

BellePeppa · 25/12/2022 17:25

Give yourself a Christmas present and dump this utter moron! I could not spend 2023 putting up with this imbecile!

LuluBlakey1 · 25/12/2022 17:26

My dad would have been furious and locked him out of the house and told him not to come back. DH's mum would have helped my dad. She would kill him- to be fair FIL and my mam would help her and my dad too. Why are any of you acting as if it's ok? It isn't. There is no excuse for his pathetic behaviour- he's a bully. While they are there and you have support, tell him to leave.

megletthesecond · 25/12/2022 17:27

I'd assume there's another woman tbh. Awful for you but you can't carry on with him like this.

HelloBunny · 25/12/2022 17:27

My DH is the same... Started the usual shite last night, then said I was looking for an argument (aren’t I always?), then pretends it didn’t happen. Arsehole! I’ve worked so hard to make this Christmas good. He can piss off.

Anyway, can’t be in the kitchen when Gordon Ramsay is at work. So, took DS down to my Dad’s for the afternoon, for gifts etc... Get home at 5pm. Ham just gone in, bird only in half hour. All veg is cooked (rescued my sprouts, before they turned to mush).

He tried to lose the plot when I wanted to add the fresh rosemary & thyme that were left sitting on the counter top. I’m in a different room now, drinking tea. DS is having a nap. I’m starving! No problem phoning me when couldn’t find the ham glaze, though...