DH told us all to fuck ourselves over dinner

[mourndayclub]

Thought we could make it through the holidays but that crashed and burned today in spectacular style. DH wanted to have the dog in the dining room and I said I'd her her away as she'd been retching and being sick (MIL unintentionally let her eat a whole load of sheep poo) plus she's a puppy which harasses the kids if there's food.

Because I said no and just complained about it he started shouting and telling me to get out of the kitchen but again I said no because I was trying to dish up potato's and veg, bent to pick up some stuffing from the floor so MIL didn't step on it and he went absolutely crazy told me MIL my DF DSis and all DC to fuck ourselves, fuck off, flipped the double finger at us all and took the dog to the pub. Had dinner without him and now he's returned and pretending it never happened in the living room loving on the dog when all he's done is snapped at the children and me today and then blown up.

Happy Christmas everyone!!!

Tell captain buggernuts he's sleeping and eating in the dog house tonight.

I would not divorce over this. He would get the silent treatment until he was prepared to discuss and apologise his actions. Clearly, he was being an idiot. Let him have a couple of days of you guys ignoring him to feel really bad about himself.

Seriously? This guy has a history of this. Why should anyone put up with it over and over and over? It's Ok if he apologizes?? Like fuck it is! It's abusive behaviour.

@mourndayclub

Concentrate on your DC and the parents. Ignore him. Tuesday, call a solicitor. You (and the DC) deserve a better life that the one you're living!!

I can't believe his parents, your dad and sister said absolutely nothing to him . My father would have put him on his arse if he spoke to us all like that! No wonder he carries on like that of no one ever confronts him about his behaviour. So sorry to hear this op please don't let it ruin the rest of your day . Perhaps have a think about whether or not you are willing to put up with this going forward

That sounds healthy. And an excellent relationship model for children. I see nothing going wrong here.

I read these threads and wonder where you go from here.
I couldn't look at, let alone be with a man or anyone who told me to fuck off or called me a fucking anything.
One who told my parents / family members to fuck off? Well...

Yes, definitely.
And he will get used to being casually rude, so that when he wants to be especially hurtful, he has to raise the bar each time.

Hopefully some time in the New Year OP, he will bugger off with his puppy and not come back.

Protect your children from this and years of therapy to come.

Oh my goodness I'm so sorry. That is shockingly disrespectful.
My ex is a narcissistic and I was always in tender hooks at family events.

I remember asking him if he could not shout at me in front of my mother as it upset her.

I was also really aware of the example he was setting the children - i didn't want them to behave or accept that behaviour when they grew up.

Good luck - you and your family deserve better.

*on tender hooks

Omg too much Baileys
* tenterhooks

This is what will happen. He will apologise. She will forgive him and the cycle will begin. One day she will wake up and think, what is it that I dislike about myself that allows me to accept such abuse? She will either chose a better life or simply continue walking on eggshells. Only she can chose her life path.

It’s incredibly sad that your children will remember their Christmases with these incidents. When are you telling him to leave?

My God, my Dad would have ended him 😂

My was DP went off on one as well.

Spoke to my DS like shit when he was in his little huff.

The huff was because I didn't know what I wanted to do and last minute didn't feel comfortable taking my newborn babies around a lot of people. I suffer with health anxiety anyway but didn't want to risk RSV. He didn't respect that and the way he spoke me and DS is not acceptable.

I told him to leave and that I'm done. My kids are my priority. Always will be!

Also to add my babies already spent time in the NICU when they were rushed there as emergencies. It's all still raw and traumatic and he doesn't respect that. So bye bye asshole.

You've had good advice @mourndayclub
you shouldn't be walking on egg shells especially at Christmas.

Time to reevaluate your relationship. Because it's not. He kicks off, you ignore it so he carries on being a cunt.

Keep on pretending he's not there. Your sweet life can just carry on with out him. Think whether it would have been better if he just fucked off for good

I couldn't agree with you more. Just so frustrating to read time and again.

Its that time of year where many people sit down and reevaluate their lives.
This life isn’t a dress rehearsal, we get 1 shot to live our best lives and be happy.
If you’re not happy and you think your life will not improve long term. Then open a new chapter.
it’s a tough decision but life gets easier after the initial heartbreak.
value yourself higher than others and most importantly make sure you’re happy along with your children.

peace out

You don't seem shocked or affected enough by this? It's not normal or okay, wake up- you have children to protect.

I'd have zero tolerance of that behaviour and he would be out. I struggle sometimes to understand how people let these arseholes into their lives?

Same here. How horrible that there are people for whom this clearly isn't true.

You seem so detached which suggests this is normal if escalated behaviour from him. I also can't believe no one said anything to him. That's shocking to me.

Poor children don't have a choice. You do.

Your children's memories of Christmas will be of the rages their father went into and how every other adult acted normally.
It's not ok.
It's damaging.