Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

DH told us all to fuck ourselves over dinner

434 replies

mourndayclub · 25/12/2022 15:45

Thought we could make it through the holidays but that crashed and burned today in spectacular style. DH wanted to have the dog in the dining room and I said I'd her her away as she'd been retching and being sick (MIL unintentionally let her eat a whole load of sheep poo) plus she's a puppy which harasses the kids if there's food.

Because I said no and just complained about it he started shouting and telling me to get out of the kitchen but again I said no because I was trying to dish up potato's and veg, bent to pick up some stuffing from the floor so MIL didn't step on it and he went absolutely crazy told me MIL my DF DSis and all DC to fuck ourselves, fuck off, flipped the double finger at us all and took the dog to the pub. Had dinner without him and now he's returned and pretending it never happened in the living room loving on the dog when all he's done is snapped at the children and me today and then blown up.

Happy Christmas everyone!!!

OP posts:
romdowa · 25/12/2022 16:10

Does he usually throw a tantrum when he cant get his own way ?

NerrSnerr · 25/12/2022 16:11

He needs to go elsewhere.

I had awful Christmases as a child, I wish a parent stood up for us and kicked the drunken abuser out.

You can turn today around and make some happy memories without that arsehole.

Octopusmittens · 25/12/2022 16:11

TheOtherBoleynGirls · 25/12/2022 15:51

And this is the final straw, yes?

Let’s hope so

labazslovesliving · 25/12/2022 16:13

childish twat hope you did not save any lunch for him.

Original poster
mourndayclub · 25/12/2022 16:15

We just ate dinner like he wasn't there

OP posts:
Wilkolampshade · 25/12/2022 16:15

I'm sorry OP. Awful.
This is EXACTLY the kind of stunt my dad pulled on us, growing up. I would have been amongst your DC sitting at the table. I learnt to deflect, crack jokes, play the clown just to avoid his wrath or even more sadly really, to cheer my poor mum up, to lighten the mood.
It really seriously fucked me up for life - and at 54 those horrible memories are still there.
Please leave him. It's no life.

SnarkyBag · 25/12/2022 16:16

It doesn’t sound like someone tantruming to get his own way it sounds like someone picking a deliberate fight because he was itching to tell you all to fuck off so he could disappear down the pub. If it hadn’t been about the dog it would have been about something else.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 25/12/2022 16:16

romdowa · 25/12/2022 16:10

Does he usually throw a tantrum when he cant get his own way ?

Does he usually throw a tantrum so he can storm out to the pub?

Womencanlift · 25/12/2022 16:17

Please let this be the last Christmas your children have to experience that

FanniesFlaps · 25/12/2022 16:17

Womencanlift · 25/12/2022 16:17

Please let this be the last Christmas your children have to experience that

This. Something needs to change next year.

Original poster
mourndayclub · 25/12/2022 16:17

No drinking he wasn't drunk at all

OP posts:
ColdHandsHotHead · 25/12/2022 16:18

He's history, I hope. Presumably he'd already been drinking. Also, I'd guess the dog was something he wanted.

butterfliedtwo · 25/12/2022 16:21

TheOtherBoleynGirls · 25/12/2022 15:51

And this is the final straw, yes?

Hopefully!

butterfliedtwo · 25/12/2022 16:22

SnarkyBag · 25/12/2022 16:16

It doesn’t sound like someone tantruming to get his own way it sounds like someone picking a deliberate fight because he was itching to tell you all to fuck off so he could disappear down the pub. If it hadn’t been about the dog it would have been about something else.

Also, I definitely agree with this.

NerrSnerr · 25/12/2022 16:24

This needs to be his last Christmas as part of the family.

Your children will learn to dread Christmas, they won't get excited and it's awful when you have to lie when people have asked you if you've had a nice Christmas. It is 100% his fault but you have the power to stop this or they'll grow up thinking that you just went along with it.

TiddlesTheTiger · 25/12/2022 16:24

No drinking , so this is him stone cold sober .

Think about how this is affecting your children. PPs have told you what that's like.

Obviously today is not the day you're going to tell us you've decided to leave but please do look at your options when you can.

RememberNancyDrew · 25/12/2022 16:24

Is he normally like this? How old are the children? I have so many questions to try and understand how you get to the point of Christmas dinner with someone who tells everyone to go F themselves. How does it get to this point when there is no alcohol to blame?

LolaMoon · 25/12/2022 16:26

Watch this- it will explain his behaviour:
m.youtube.com/watch?v=_b78TvKGZ_M

MrsRinaDecker · 25/12/2022 16:27

Please let this be the last Christmas your children (and you) go through that! They will remember and it won’t be nice and you need to be protecting them and showing them it isn’t ok. Don’t enable him to treat them (or you) like this again. Then look into getting them some support to process this in a safe space (because it is abuse, it is trauma, and I bet it doesn’t only happen at Christmas).

Original poster
mourndayclub · 25/12/2022 16:27

It wouldn't make much sense that he secretly wanted to go to the pub when so much effort went into Christmas and dinner

OP posts:
WoosteriaLane · 25/12/2022 16:27

Pretend you're your father for a second. Imagine watching a man talk to your dd like that and in front of your grandchildren and not being able to say anything as it's her husband. Not wanting to risk alienating her?

I really hope this isn't true or that this is the last Christmas you let him ruin

IToldYouAmillionTimesAlready · 25/12/2022 16:30

What a piece of shit he is. To behave like that, in front of your children, is the worst thing. If I was his mum, he'd get a real bollocking

Miss03852 · 25/12/2022 16:31

He sounds like he belongs on Jeremy Kyle to be honest.

SnarkyBag · 25/12/2022 16:32

mourndayclub · 25/12/2022 16:27

It wouldn't make much sense that he secretly wanted to go to the pub when so much effort went into Christmas and dinner

It’s not necessarily about wanting to be at the pub but you said yourself he pulled this crap last year over monopoly. It’s a pattern of behaviour and it’s very much deliberate.

Mariposa26 · 25/12/2022 16:32

Please don’t keep your children in this environment. They deserve happy memories and so do you.