I have every right to un-invite them, don’t I?

[asblindasabat]

I’m hosting Christmas Day this year for my family and my in laws. My DH’s brother and his OH have both caught a really bad head cold / borderline flu.

They say they are coughing and spluttering, BIL has a chesty cough, sore throat, temperature etc.

We have been in contact, I’ve been wishing them to get better, as you do when someone is unwell, and they still think they can come to my house on Christmas Day!

BIL said that they will come if they feel up to it and that if they’re slightly better than what they are now, they’ll just take some lemsip and will come down and try to enjoy it as best they can.

I haven’t yet replied, I hate confrontation, but I feel a bit uneasy with them coming down here when they could be potentially still spreading an infection! Should I tell them that they shouldn’t come? At the same time, I feel a bit mean because it’s Christmas Day, we could leave the food round to their house so they can eat at home, if needs be but I don’t want myself or anyone else getting their germs.

DH says that if they’re feeling a bit better, even if not totally better, that there is no reason why they can’t come!

I’m going to text tonight and tell them that we will see how they are between Friday and Sunday morning and that they can come if they haven’t vomited / had a temperature in 48 hrs starting from Friday.

It is pretty hard to enforce though because contradicts with what DH is telling them. He’s telling them they are fine to come and that they are close to our downstairs toilet so if they need to be sick they can just leave the dining room and throw up in the toilet meanwhile I’m going to be telling them they can’t come if they are sick!

Good for you standing up for yourself!

I'm with you OP having followed this thread for a few days. This virus doing the rounds at thr moment is really miserable Your husband's proposal is ridiculous regarding getting up to use the downstairs loo to throw up! Gross! They are selfish for wanting to inflict the virus on everyone else for the sake of joining others for Christmas dinner. What's wrong with people for goodness' sake?!

Totally agree with you. Personally if BIL is throwing up I’m not sure how he thinks he is going to be able to stomach a whole Christmas dinner.

I don’t want to hear him wrenching from the toilet whilst I’m in the dining room eating my Christmas dinner either 🤢

retching *

ew! Course they can’t come if they’re still being sick. Gross!

If they are I'll they should stay home and not spread about their germs. I'd tell them you are dropping them off Xmas dinner and will facetime on Xmas morning.

Absolutely no chance someone actively being sick is coming into my house for several hours. I don't care who they are or what day of the year it is.

If they're really too selfish to cancel themselves @asblindasabat you'll just have to be blunt, I'm afraid, and say 'obviously you can't come round if you're being sick because we don't want to catch it.' You need to bring DH into line too, though!

@asblindasabat I said you were being OTT earlier, but now that BIL is vomiting, that would be a no from me, however well he is feeling on Sunday. It's entirely possible he has D&V as well as a cold, and if that's the case, he'll still be carrying it on Sunday. NFW would they be coming under those circumstances.

What gets me is that they actually still want to come round. If I was vomiting I wouldn’t be leaving my house!

That's disgusting. Are you sure they will be honest with how they feel...

I would say to DH if they come round you are going out! Have people telling you you're over the top and precious read another active thread on Mumsnet about how this awful flu thing, whatever it is, is lasting for ages. In some countries countries people show much more respect for others and when they have colds will wear a mask in public. This though throwing up and coughing . Would you really want someone at the dinner table coughing and possibly throwing up on your Christmas meal. 🤮
They are being the selfish one's not OP. I can't believe what I read on here sometimes. Stick to your guns OP. All these saying let them come round, none of them will offer to look after you if you catch it and clear up your vomit.

Omfg! Someone who’d been puking wouldn’t be coming anywhere near me and I’d have no issue telling them that in no uncertain terms. If your husband brings them round anyway I’d tell the other guests to evacuate and decamp to a pub. Leave him with the pukers!

@asblindasabat

I cannot believe the number of posters telling you that you're being 'mean' not to let sick people into your home! I don't care if it's Xmas, no one has to knowingly subject themselves to illness, especially if it truly is the flu. People die from the flu. Yes, yes, I know that's not common, but still why take the chance?

Frankly I think those posters would actually bar the door and nail garlic and crosses to it before they'd admit infectious guests. They just want to come across as being 'kind'.

I think your 48 hour rule (same rule I have) is eminently sensible and your DH is being a real arse. Probably because HE won't be the one cleaning up sick or waiting hand and foot on those in your household that become ill, or running errands for the ones who don't live with you. After all, that's 'women's work'. No, if he catches it, he'll put on the Dressing Gown of Doom and languish in bed like Camille on her deathbed expecting cool cloths to his forehead and to be spoon fed broth.

Hopefully it will work out the way you want. But if it doesn't, I swear that if I were you, on the 27th I'd take to my bed croaking, moaning, and demanding broth and cool cloths myself and see how DH likes it!

It's 4 days to go.

Suggest they have a back up plan but they could well be recovered in time.

I will still make them a dinner and will deliver it to their house and they can eat it at home so that they’re not being left without a Christmas dinner

That's actually really nice of you.

Haha, I love this!

Well I have told DH that allowing them to come when they could vomit all over my dining room table or carpet at any point in the evening is just ridiculous. How do I know they’d keep their food down??

I also told him that there is no guarantee that they’d even make it to the toilet on time if both or either one of them needs to puke and that I don’t want to spend Christmas Day listening to the sound effects of someone vomiting in my home.

If DH has his way, I’ll be cooking Christmas dinner, Doing the dishes and cleaning vomit off my carpet!

What did your husband say?

😆

I would be handing all hosting duties over to DH. Is your family aware infectious, vomiting guests are coming to yours?

That I should think about how it will look to his
brother and his partner if i stop them from coming and that I would be upset if someone did this to me if I was sick!

Its a cold, not the bubonic plague 🙄 Why has covid turned people so hypersensitive. (This isn’t even covid for a start). So what you pick up a sniffle? You’d pick that up anywhere at this time of year. Cancelling their Christmas over this? YABU. Plus a cold most likely gone in 4 days time if they are already in the middle of it.

Errrr.....we'll clearly you wouldn't put someone in this awkward position in the first place because you're a mature and sensible adult with thought for others. I'm fuming on your behalf that they're putting you in this position and you're supposedly thr unreasonable one!

Mama2017 - have you missed the bit where they're vomiting and have high temperatures.....that is not "just a cold"!