Should I tell the school DD doesn’t intend on showing up?

[asblindasabat]

DD(15) is in Year 12(not in England) and her last day of term is Tuesday which is a half day and non uniform day.

Anyway, she says they aren’t doing too much in class at the minute and that on Monday she is just going to stay at home and do her coursework and on Tuesday morning, she is going out with her friends who are also skipping school.

i have told her that she should at least go in on Monday as it is a full day, I have said I don’t want her taking Tuesday off either but If she is to take either off, I’d much rather she had Tuesday off over Monday as it is a shorter day and they probably won’t be doing anything apart from watching Christmas movies as she’ll only have 2-3 classes and it’ll be home time.

that aside, I can’t force her to go in. Should I ring the school first thing on Monday morning and tell them she has said she is not coming in on the last 2 days? Or I don’t know if I shohld just call her in sick to save any hassle but I really don’t want to lie to them!

Scotland but senior school

I hear you.

IMO you sound like a complete pushover! YOU are the parent, YOU make the rules and if she won’t go to school, ground her! No wonder why so many younger people are such snowflakes with parents like you enabling this behaviour. How is this preparing her for work when she’s older?! Baffling.

I’d phone in sick for her, mine aren’t finishing til day before Christmas Eve which I think is ridiculous so I’ve given them the option to just go in Monday and Tuesday then have have last 3 days off if they’d like

In your circumstances I would be driving her to school and walking her in! I dont condone bunking off school

If she goes in on Monday I will try and speak to her form teacher and see if she’d be happy enough for Dd To stay off on Tuesday.

And that’s what I would do, except I’d physically have to lift her into the car and out of it at school, both of which are not possible.

You manage your own time at work - if you want a day off you take a sick day.

The majority of people I have worked with don't "take a sick day" when they want a day off. However, maybe the people I know have a better work ethic than you.

Maybe so - although you likely wouldn’t know because they wouldn’t tell you, would they? Fact still stands you can take a day off (sick or leave) work whenever you want. As it goes I have a very good work ethic. Never lost a job, been disciplined, never had anything but good feedback etc. But I also know I’m entitled to leave and sick days, and would take them if I needed or wanted to do so. But the way I see it a day and a half off school at age 15 at the end of term has very little to do with work ethic any way.

These responses are so bizarre. Literally nobody went to the last few days of school when I was there (15 years ago)because it was always Christmas movies, quizzes or chatting among yourselves. All my teacher pals say the same thing, they take their books with them and read while the students watch films. I even know some that wrap their Christmas presents! My parents never forced me to go in on these days because they understood how pointless it was but often I’d go and meet my friends and then we’d go for lunch or something instead! She’s 15, she’s not an adult with a career and it certainly doesn’t make you a weak parent for allowing her to miss the last couple days. Jeez 🤦🏼‍♀️

Videos on the last day, possibly the afternoon before the last day! Otherwise we might do a more "fun" activity connected to the course, or kahoot quizzes. It's a chance for teachers and pupils to see each other a bit more relaxed, and I don't think those conversations and connections are a waste of time.
Saying that, loads of pupils are off for the last day or so.

@Kanaloa - well, you sound like an employer's dream! In any place where I have worked no-one just decides they won't go in because they don't feel like it. They either apply for leave in advance or they are genuinely sick. When I left my last job I had weeks of sick leave owing, no way would I have taken it just because I was "entitled" to it. And yes, it does have something to do with a work ethic, as a 15 year old will be working in a few years' time - and it's rather interesting that many posters on this thread have pointed out that you are talking nonsense.

I don't think bashing OP as a pushover and poor parent is right. I think OP's situation would have been better handled when initially informed by DD. What is the relationship like? What sorts of decisions does DD make that the parents go along with? Why does DD decide and inform this time? Clearly DD feels she can decide this for herself. If DD gets a lot of latitude then it would be confusing to deny her now. If that's the situation then the parents need to let this one go and decide on rules moving forward amd clearly communicate them to DD.

I think that is valuable interaction.

If you daughter is old enough to decide that she doesn't want to go in on whatever day that may be, then she's old enough to explain that to her teachers too.

And at 17 she will be demanding a Gucci Bracelet and new teeth!😂

You say you don't want the hassle of having to go in to school and discuss her behaviour but that might be exactly what you both need.

@GoodVibesHere but you have made that decision with your DD. OP wants hers to go in and her DD has basically stuck 2 fingers up and said no. OP is now actively looking for justification that enables her to lie for her DD even though she doesn’t want her at home. It’s entirely up to you as a parent what you want your kids to do but the point here is that OP doesn’t like what her 15yr is going to do but will lie for her so she doesn’t get into trouble and it sounds like her daughter wants her to lie for her.

It's disrespectful to the teachers isn't it? Why should they put themselves out for her in the future? She's missed plenty of school through covid lockdown and now decides when her school holidays begin.

Spot on @itsjustnotok

I'm surprised so many people are missing the point by a country mile.

It's got nothing to do with whether it's worth going in for the last couple of days, as they won't be doing any work.

It's everything to do with a child telling her parents to basically go fuck themselves when it comes to telling her what to do.

That sort of attitude won't end with school attendance and will only get worse if the OP and the child's dad don't toughen up.

"There's nothing I can do about it" - what an attitude.

You're a parent. You parent your child. You ground your child if they skip school, because it's unacceptable behaviour that wouldn't fly in the workplace.

What you don't do is let a child walk all over you, because you can't physically carry her to school.

There are other ways to parent

And very disrespectful to her parents.

The teachers won't be part of her life in a couple of years, but the OP and the child's dad will be putting up with her attitude for many years to come.

This.

People on this thread are nuts. It's 1.5 days at the very end of term. What's the huge deal? 🤷‍♀️

Yup. I have a 15yo too and if I tell then they have to go to school, they go to school. Why would I need to drag them when they have been parented to know that some things are non negotiable?

You are where you are now though and I certainly wouldn't be covering for a teen that thinks school is optional.