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Original poster

What just happened?! I don't know what to make of this.

484 replies

Believers · 14/12/2022 00:52

I've had the strangest experience tonight and I don't know how to explain it.

I volunteer with a charity, and tonight myself and 3 others from there went out to a pub I've never been to before for a pre-Christmas drink.

At one point I went to the toilet and as I was on my way out a woman was on her way in. We exchanged pleasantries and went on our separate ways.

About 5 minutes after I'd joined my friends, this same woman came up to us, and sat next to me on the banquette thing. She took my hand and said she had to tell me something.

It was all a bit odd, but I figured she'd maybe had a drink, and I had no objection to her joining us. But then she said to me that she had xxx with her and he wanted me to know that he was happy, that he loved me and that it was time I moved on. She was crying as she said this and I started crying too because xxx was the name of my late dh.

I have no idea how she could've known any of this. None of us knew her, I'd never been to that pub before, dh's name isn't wildly unusual but not that common either, why did she come and find me after our brief encounter in the toilet etc.

I can't get my head around it! Any ideas?!

OP posts:
Youdoyoubabe · 14/12/2022 00:54

Cool. A medium. I always thought that kind of thing was a sham.

TheShellBeach · 14/12/2022 00:55

She was just giving you a "cold reading" and hoping you'd recognise the name and think she was in touch with someone you'd known. It's all bullshit.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cold_reading#:~:text=Cold%20readings%20commonly%20employ%20high,moving%20on%20from%20missed%20guesses.

Original poster
Believers · 14/12/2022 01:00

But why @TheShellBeach ? What was in it for her? I didn't ask her for it, she didn't ask me for anything. It was so strange.

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 14/12/2022 01:01

Believers · 14/12/2022 01:00

But why @TheShellBeach ? What was in it for her? I didn't ask her for it, she didn't ask me for anything. It was so strange.

Practising? To get her technique up to scratch for the next person she scams, maybe?

EmmaAgain22 · 14/12/2022 01:05

Couple of possibilities

  1. she knows of you through someone

  2. she's genuine.

Anyway, I hope you're okay.

PurpleWisteria1 · 14/12/2022 01:06

TheShellBeach · 14/12/2022 01:01

Practising? To get her technique up to scratch for the next person she scams, maybe?

Show quote history

But how would she have known the name?

Original poster
Believers · 14/12/2022 01:06

Maybe. I don't know though, it was so odd. She didn't do any of the "I have someone here with a name beginning with a J. Or is it a C?" etc. She literally came up to us, sat next to me, picked up my hand and spoke. She didn't try and move on to any of the others in our group.

Logically I know it must've been a lucky guess/a load of nonsense. But it's really made me think.

OP posts:
Original poster
Believers · 14/12/2022 01:09

I am ok @EmmaAgain22 thank you although I did cry. The others with me were really taken aback too - they obviously knew about dh. I've never been to that pub before in my life, and this woman was considerably older than me so unlikely we know anyone in common. It's just so strange.

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 14/12/2022 01:11

She's genuine.

Eh? None of them are genuine. They're all charlatans.

TheShellBeach · 14/12/2022 01:13

But how would she have known the name?

OP has said that her DH's name wasn't wildly unusual. It was a lucky guess, that's all.

Suemademedoit · 14/12/2022 01:15

Had any of you mentioned his name at all, before you or she left to go to the loo?

I ansk only because I was on the tube once many years ago, standing by the doors. I was with around 6 friends, we were chatting in groups of two or three. After a few stops a random man sitting not too far away from us got off the train and before he exited he tugged my arm and said “happy birthday luv”. It was my birthday. I hadn’t mentioned it at all, nothing on me indicating it was my birthday - just, nothing at all. I was gobsmacked.

Turns out one of the girls in a group I wasn’t chatting in mentioned it vaguely in passing (“oh, isn’t it Sue’s birthday today, last day of March?”) and he’d overheard.

No teleportation into my head. Just plain old fashioned eavesdropping.

I’m sorry about your late DH Flowers

Original poster
Believers · 14/12/2022 01:24

Suemademedoit · 14/12/2022 01:15

Had any of you mentioned his name at all, before you or she left to go to the loo?

I ansk only because I was on the tube once many years ago, standing by the doors. I was with around 6 friends, we were chatting in groups of two or three. After a few stops a random man sitting not too far away from us got off the train and before he exited he tugged my arm and said “happy birthday luv”. It was my birthday. I hadn’t mentioned it at all, nothing on me indicating it was my birthday - just, nothing at all. I was gobsmacked.

Turns out one of the girls in a group I wasn’t chatting in mentioned it vaguely in passing (“oh, isn’t it Sue’s birthday today, last day of March?”) and he’d overheard.

No teleportation into my head. Just plain old fashioned eavesdropping.

I’m sorry about your late DH Flowers

Thank you for your condolences. No we hadn't been talking about him - it's nearly six years since he died now so, although I love speaking about him, he doesn't always feature in conversation these days!

I know there must be a logical explanation but it's just so strange!

OP posts:
EmmaAgain22 · 14/12/2022 01:25

Maybe ask at the pub if they know her name

.i think the age difference is a red herring and she knows of you for some reason.

JaneAustensHeroine · 14/12/2022 02:02

This has happened to me before at a bus stop. Innocently sat there, hundreds of miles from home, woman beside me suddenly turned and said sorry to disturb me but she had a message from spirit for me. Absolutely spot on with details.

Unless you have had an accurate mediumship reading it’s easy to dismiss it. However she did tell me one particular thing that absolutely no-one knew that was very much on my mind at that time. She also knew that it was a very special anniversary which she would not have been able to guess.

I hope the message has reassured you rather than disturbed you OP. Some people do have a psychic ability and, while there will be many fakes out there, there are some very genuine people too.

mackthepony · 14/12/2022 02:04

Do you feel better for her telling you that?

tolerable · 14/12/2022 02:15

understandable you confused- did this "feel" right? was this a query you are stuck at??would dh be likely to do such a impulsive thing via pub woman?on a xmas night out?
in my head any sort of overwhelming urge to pass on a absolutely unexpected message from beyond would surely require importance.did it?

Original poster
Believers · 14/12/2022 02:30

I don't know if I feel better, if I'm being honest I'm more puzzled than anything else.

OP posts:
JeanMarie · 14/12/2022 02:37

This has happened to me twice....both times in the same hospital. It really spooked me! First time was when I with my son in A&E, waiting to get a plaster on his foot. I noticed a girl helping a woman to get to the reception desk. The girl looked panicky and the woman looked like she was about to drop. I went over to ask if I could help and sat with the woman while the girl booked her in. The poor woman could hardly breathe, she was gasping but managed to tell me she had pneumonia and her immune system was wrecked. I said I had a lowered immune system and she said " Yes, I know . You see a neurologist don't you". It was a real WTF moment...I actually do see a neurologist regularly. Before I could say anything she said "don't be frightened....your mother told me" . My mum had died the previous year . I told her not to try and talk because her breathing was really shallow but she said my mum was giving her strength. Just then the girl ( her daughter) came over and I left to go back to my son. She reached for my hand and said " she loved the flowers you left at the river". Now I really was freaked out...a few days earlier it would have been my mum's birthday and I'd went to the river where her ashes were scattered and left flowers.
I'm the biggest sceptic there is about these things but.......
The second time was when I was admitted to the same hospital for a minor operation. I'd just got changed and settled when a woman a few beds down came over ....as I thought to say hello. She told me not to worry ....she said my mum was with me as I walked into the ward.
I'd never met, or seen either of these women before or since....and it still freaks me out 12 years later.

PyongyangKipperbang · 14/12/2022 02:46

I have a feeling that the energy that a body has is left behind in some way. We all know that energy doesnt disappear, it simply changes. Maybe, just maybe, some people are more in tune with that energy than others.

THe charlatans,......oh they are out there in spades! I have an old friend who got drawn in by them when her husband buggered off with a much younger OW and she was looking for reassurance. To this day she believes that they were right as they said she would find happiness again and then she met her now DH......eye roll

But ime there are some people who do seem to be able to connect to something "other". Children seem to be more open to this. I remember as a child I had "memories" of people who had died before I was born, my parents where really freaked out by it! My third child was the same, she would talk about things that happened way before her birth that I didnt remember until she told me about them, and that I know I never mentioned. And I always seem to know before I am told when someone has been born or passed away. I am not spiritual at all and am a "no sky fairies" by nature, but......I cant help thinking that there is more to the universe than we currently understand.

MiddleParking · 14/12/2022 03:02

I would be distressed and furious if someone did that to me on a night out. Awful.

PissedOffNeighbour22 · 14/12/2022 03:04

I do think there are a (very limited) few people who aren't charlatans. I've encountered one myself who stopped me twice - once with a very specific message to avoid X person at work and that they were trying to harm me and told me what they were going to do. He was completely accurate and had no way of knowing this. He later stopped me again with information about a deceased family member which he couldn't have known as it was very specific.
He had nothing to gain by telling me and no other motive for approaching me. He was a lot older than me and we definitely had no connection/anyone in common.

OP, I hope you're not too shaken. Hopefully the woman was being sincere, but it's hard to know.

TheShellBeach · 14/12/2022 03:18

I do think there are a (very limited) few people who aren't charlatans.

Well, I don't. There is no way people can genuinely know anything about anyone else. It is all luck and skilled cold reading.

piemaggedon · 14/12/2022 03:32

There are genuine mediums out there. Your hubby reached out via one. End of story, nothing in it for her. She's a conduit and gave you the message out of the goodness of her own heart. Why does everyone have to do things because there's something in it for them? Can they not just be good people who have a psychic gift and who pass on a message they are given??

Smallonesaremorejuicy · 14/12/2022 03:36

What a lovely message 💐

Dotellhimpike · 14/12/2022 03:49

I've just finished reading Beyond Black by Hilary Mantel and this could be a scene from the book.