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I'm in shock.... work and schedule

268 replies

Tofuckwith2022 · 13/12/2022 09:48

I work as a nanny.
It's not a live in position.
My contract originally stated Monday to Friday work and some extrs will be required from time to time at weekends.
I will need to root through my files and dig it out and read the wording exactly because it's been a while since I read it.

I am in an awful position now.

I feel like the parents are doing a number on me. There's a special needs child in the family and over the past few years they started relying on me more and more and for stepping in and giving them respite so that they can take care.
The respite stuff was never in a contract. At first it used to be 5 or 7 days and it was a holiday locally within the country. The parents would organise other care too to give me time off. Over the past year they have increased the holidays but decreased the other care too. Or the team of people that they relied on so much stepped back a lot.

So they got a holiday last year. It was originally supposed to be for 10 days but then they turned it into 14 days. I did have people come and go to help me.

Then they got another break away during the mid term break in October. I felt a lot of people who helped previously stepped back. There was only one other lady who hardly turned up.
I would be up from 5 or 6 o clock in the morning with the child and the the other lady mightn't even come til late in the afternoon or the early evening. It was just too much of a long spell for me.

Usually these spells take a lot out of me. Usually it will be a regular work week and then I come into a weekend and then the the stint might start and happen then and then it will often be another week or two by the time I get a day off and then it's back to another regular week and often it can be weeks by the time I sniff any sort of a weekend off. You know, like what many other workers are entitled to after working all week? Then there is the work itself too. Often I end up neglecting something as simple as my oral hygiene like going to bed at night time and just falling into bed without using my toothbrush. It depends on the day and I many hours I am expected to keep going for. A shower might be once or twice a week.

The real kicker was that I was never paid appropriately for that Halloween stint. I got paid my normal weekly wage but nothing extra. I was pretty much 24/7

They have other workers coming and going too.
They must be away nearly every single weekend.
There has been back to back Christmas parties this week with no break in their schedules and no break in mine either.

I never really signed up for work like this.

Basically I was told about next summers plans. One of the parents said it while their were rushing pass me.
They booked a 10 day holiday abroad.

They never even asked me or consulted with me. They just dumped it on me and feel entitled to 24/7 work out of me. The parent dressed it up very nice as a lively opportunity and they will organise extra cover for me during that time.i wasn't even asked. I was just told it and I have to accept it.
That's the situation.
I am actually in shock of what I was confronted with.
I know when the time comes, I will be lucky if I get any other help at all. Or help will be limited.

I have a few different issues with all of this.

  1. I feel 10 days is too much. Whats wrong with 6 or 7 days?
  2. I have my own plans for next summer. These are important plans. Does she expect me to literally piss on my family to serve her family?
  3. other people who have helped her in the past have stepped back a lot. I think maybe they see a lot from them and they see their outings and holidays and breaks away as excessive. This brings me into another situation in that - the majority of those 10 days of work will be on my back. If I get a sleepless night, it doesn't matter I will be expected just to get up and continue work
  4. payment - will I even get paid? Probably not. Or they will do a number. What's the point in working 24/7 if I will get better hours and pay working in Tesco or aldi.
  5. I have a health condition now too. I don't want to write about it but it does cause sickness and flares. I already had three flares this year. The parents know about my health issue. What if I get sick? They won't care. They will be away on their holier for 10 days or more. If I get sick - what happens? Who do I fall back on? Or am I suspected to neglect my health and ignore a flare until I die in work.
  6. back to point 1, 10 days is just too much.

They feel entitled to 10 days because its a milestone birthday. I think it's ridiculous. I have important plans next summer but they don't matter. Its so much more than a birth.

OP posts:
Tollumi · 13/12/2022 17:51

Tofuckwith2022 · 13/12/2022 17:43

Is there really a need for a 10 day holiday for a birthday? They are not telling me the full schedule either. I feel there would be parties either side of that.

A holiday if you have no other responsibilities or priorities that's fine. I just think 10 days is too much to be away from the child.

There's also a sick child in the house this week and their priority is on christmas parties. Their priorities are wrong.

Forget their schedule. You're leaving. Who cares?

Will your last day be before or after Christmas, OP?

Angelofthenortheast · 13/12/2022 18:00

I can't think of another legal job that would be worse than this one.

My God, just get yourself literally ANY other job and get your freedom and dignity back! This is your one and only life, don't give it away to these dickheads

pinneddownbytabbies · 13/12/2022 18:47

Tofuckwith2022 · 13/12/2022 17:43

Is there really a need for a 10 day holiday for a birthday? They are not telling me the full schedule either. I feel there would be parties either side of that.

A holiday if you have no other responsibilities or priorities that's fine. I just think 10 days is too much to be away from the child.

There's also a sick child in the house this week and their priority is on christmas parties. Their priorities are wrong.

You say their priorities are wrong. At the moment, so are yours. These children are not your children. They are not your responsibility, however fond you are of them.

Your first priority has to be you. Your own wellbeing, and physical & mental health. They are destroying your life, aren't they.

Don't go to work tomorrow. Please, you are right on the edge so talk to your GP and get yourself signed off sick. Tell your GP what you have told us, and that you literally can't cope any more.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Tofuckwith2022 · 13/12/2022 19:09

pinneddownbytabbies · 13/12/2022 18:47

You say their priorities are wrong. At the moment, so are yours. These children are not your children. They are not your responsibility, however fond you are of them.

Your first priority has to be you. Your own wellbeing, and physical & mental health. They are destroying your life, aren't they.

Don't go to work tomorrow. Please, you are right on the edge so talk to your GP and get yourself signed off sick. Tell your GP what you have told us, and that you literally can't cope any more.

I spent the day tidying up some bits because I think this is what I will be doing. Going to the GP to get signed out of work.

I was in work since 8am this morning. Dipping in and out from this thread whenever time allowed. One of the parents is home cooking dinner now and they will sit down and est before they will let me away. It will be 9 or 10 tonight by the time I will be finished tonight. This is still only Tuesday.

Today is my last day. No more.

OP posts:
Tofuckwith2022 · 13/12/2022 19:11

Any other job and I will clock in, in the morning and I would be finished by now or at least get paid over time. Just not this one.

Being informed of next summers schedule was the last straw for me because I know its all lies. They can find someone else and pay for it too.

OP posts:
Tollumi · 13/12/2022 19:17

Tofuckwith2022 · 13/12/2022 19:09

I spent the day tidying up some bits because I think this is what I will be doing. Going to the GP to get signed out of work.

I was in work since 8am this morning. Dipping in and out from this thread whenever time allowed. One of the parents is home cooking dinner now and they will sit down and est before they will let me away. It will be 9 or 10 tonight by the time I will be finished tonight. This is still only Tuesday.

Today is my last day. No more.

Really glad to hear this OP. Keep us up to date. This will be a good Christmas for you.

TimeForMeToF1y · 13/12/2022 19:19

Where are you? If you are in England you should have employment protection but I'm wondering if you are in another country

ICanHideButICantRun · 13/12/2022 19:22

Look, if you go to work tomorrow then you're being a martyr. Call in sick to buy yourself some time. Phone up an agency and see what's available. Make sure you speak to a past member of staff before you take on any new job.

You are being treated like slave labour and you need to stop it now.

billy1966 · 13/12/2022 19:23

OP, glad to read this.

Please read up on assertiveness training.

It is unbelievable that an adult, even early 20's would accept being used like this.

Tot up your hours and do the math re your hourly net pay.

It must be tiny.

You can't fix them.

Concentrate on fixing yourself and figuring out why you would accept this.

Jackiebrambles · 13/12/2022 19:27

Yes! Take back control. Good luck at the gp.

AdoraBell · 13/12/2022 19:28

As others have said, look for another job and move on.

Fufumcgoo · 13/12/2022 19:32

I'm a spiteful cow and I would drop them right in it and go off sick every time they want to go away and then in summer, quit on the first day of their holiday.

Lapland123 · 13/12/2022 19:36

I really hope you mean that, you finish with this job. It is dreadful and damaging your health. They are terrible parents but that does not mean you assume responsibility where they won’t .

pinneddownbytabbies · 13/12/2022 19:56

Today is my last day. No more.

Hooray!! That's the spirit, good for you. Spend the time between now and the time they 'allow' you to leave this evening by gathering any of your personal possessions in the house, and take them with you when you leave.
xx

Tofuckwith2022 · 13/12/2022 19:57

I mean every word of it. This is just despicable.

OP posts:
Lapland123 · 13/12/2022 20:03

Well done making this decision. It’s the right one, and the only real choice you have, given how awful this has been. Sort out your details and only look forward now xxxx

KatMcBundleFace · 13/12/2022 20:04

Good luck op, your employers sound like scum. No one deserves to be treated the way you have been.

carbon60 · 13/12/2022 20:13

Please phone ACAS, I'm sure they've broken employment law. Get to the docs and get signed off, take care of yourself.
I hope you find a nice new job where you will be appreciated.

Summerfun54321 · 13/12/2022 20:20

You’ll leave and look back and wonder how you lasted as long as you did and why you didn’t leave earlier. You’ll find a new job no problem, good luck.

Notplayingball · 13/12/2022 20:24

Get searching for a better job. It's a no brainer.

OhamIreally · 14/12/2022 11:35

Did you call in sick @Tofuckwith2022?

Your job sounds more like modern slavery to me.

pinneddownbytabbies · 14/12/2022 14:11

Wishing you all the best OP.

BornBlonde · 14/12/2022 14:17

How are you today?

TheLittlestLightOnTheXmasTree · 14/12/2022 15:16

Hopefully op has left and the family are muddling through looking after their own kids!

Redrosesandsunsets · 14/12/2022 17:48

You need to leave. They are taking advantage of you more and more. Get a better role. Let them find someone else and maybe bring in more of the people they let go of so you could do more work at no extra cost. Sorry that is hard. Move on.

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