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Is anyone awake? I’m expecting bad news and I can’t sleep

1000 replies

MyCake · 13/12/2022 04:32

My dh is unwell and we have no idea what is wrong. We are getting scan results this morning but they were only to rule things out so probably not conclusive. However, I can’t see how this isn’t going to be something serious as he has declined so rapidly.

I feel sick. We’ve already lost most of his income through him being off work so I’m also worried sick about money. We have enough savings to manage another 2 months at the most.

My dc are already suffering, despite them
mot fully understanding how serious the symptoms are, as dh is pretty much housebound and I can’t physically drive them to all the clubs and places they need to go by myself.
I also work full time although thankfully I’m a teacher and break up this week.

My heart is broken just looking at him disappearing in front of me. The doctors are slow to take his symptoms seriously so sadly by the time he was sent to hospital he was already unable to work and very ill. It could of course be something very treatable but at the moment I feel suffocated with the fear of the worst case scenarios.
I am writing this as I’m lonely and scared and wondered if anyone is awake to say hello.

I have name changed in case anyone recognises me from this post. If you do, please don’t mention this as I am doing a great job of appearing strong on the outside.

OP posts:
EnjoythemoneyJane · 13/12/2022 08:38

I’m so sorry @MyCake.
You’re obviously having to keep quiet at night but if you can’t sleep and you’re able to find a place where you can talk it might be worth calling Samaritans?
It’s not just a suicide helpline, it’s for anyone in despair, and it’s free of charge, completely anonymous and confidential (like here!). Sometimes it relieves the mental burden just to be able to vent and say your deep thoughts and fears out loud, things you can’t say to anyone IRL.
I hope today brings good news for you and DH and some peace of mind for both of you.

piedbeauty · 13/12/2022 08:40

I'm so sorry that it's taken so long for your dh to be referred. Bloody GP.

I hope the scan shows good news, and that you find out what is wrong with your dh and he receives good care.

Thinking about you and holding your hand.

MyCake · 13/12/2022 08:42

@Christmasmunchies I am hoping and praying it is reversible. He looks thin and gaunt but the symptoms themselves are also very debilitating. He is usually strong and active and my heart breaks just looking at him.

OP posts:
MyCake · 13/12/2022 08:42

I keep thinking if they’d found something very sinister on this scan they wouldn’t have made us wait 3 weeks but I just don’t know, and of course the problem could be somewhere else.
Even the radiographer said she was surprised it was only the one scan and not scans of other areas.

OP posts:
MulledWineAndMingePies · 13/12/2022 08:44

Oh OP, the wait is gruelling isn't it? I hope it's something less that what you are worried about.

MulledWineAndMingePies · 13/12/2022 08:46

MyCake · 13/12/2022 08:42

I keep thinking if they’d found something very sinister on this scan they wouldn’t have made us wait 3 weeks but I just don’t know, and of course the problem could be somewhere else.
Even the radiographer said she was surprised it was only the one scan and not scans of other areas.

Oh hang on, the scan was three weeks ago?!

They wouldn't have made you wait that long.

That's a good thing, im sure.

WomanhoodIsABirthright · 13/12/2022 08:49

🤞 I hope you get good news today.

burninglikefire · 13/12/2022 08:56

Hi OP, will be thinking of you today XXX

Thisbastardcomputer · 13/12/2022 08:58

My heart goes out to you and I sincerely hope the news today isn't bad x

Mirabai · 13/12/2022 09:19

Good luck OP. If the radiographer was surprised the scan was only one area, not a full body, then you’re right it may conceivably come back with nothing and you have to start again. I’ve been through this with a family member and it took more scans to diagnose the problem. I really hope the scan comes back with a definitive answer and that it’s not as serious as you fear. 💐

Batcountry8 · 13/12/2022 09:30

I'll be thinking of you and your husband today op.

Sending hugs and hope xx

Livebythecoast · 13/12/2022 09:32

You've got a lot on your plate and I'm so sorry you're all going through this. I am keeping everything crossed that the outcome is a positive one and you get some answers 💐

Newwardrobe · 13/12/2022 09:36

I'm so sorry you are going through this, I know that if a radiographer sees anything sinister on a scan they push it through as urgent, so hopefully as you've waited a while for the results, the news isn't as bad as you think.

ChristmasRoses · 13/12/2022 09:41

Hand hold from me OP. Really hope your DH can be successfully treated

SirVixofVixHall · 13/12/2022 09:46

OP I very much hope that today brings some brighter news, and that your DH can be helped.

Elderflower14 · 13/12/2022 09:55

Sending you and your family huge hugs and prayers OP....

Bakeacaketoday · 13/12/2022 10:00

While I hope everything is ok for you please please be very persistent in trying to find out what is wrong, and phone for answers rather than waiting. The NHS is VERY stressed at the moment and my dad (who has cancer) is constantly having appointments changed and cancelled, short time with consultants, long gaps between appointments, people not taking responsibility for things. He has been waiting for an ECG for 3 months....

Newnamefor2021 · 13/12/2022 10:07

I am sending virtual hugs. Hope you get news today and plans going forward. So stressful for you all. Much love.

Bluetrews25 · 13/12/2022 10:19

Sending love and warm wishes MyCake.

anxietythrewtheroof · 13/12/2022 10:24

@MyCake sending love ❤️

BreathingDeep · 13/12/2022 10:26

Oh Mycake, I'm sending you and your DH all the love in the world. I really hope it's something easily treatable so you can gently let those worries go.

Soulcurry · 13/12/2022 10:34

I feel for you OP. I hope today brings some positivity and answers to you and DH.

LuluBlakey1 · 13/12/2022 10:35

Worry is exhausting. You must both feel drained by all of this. Hoping you get good news today.

Seaweedandsalt · 13/12/2022 10:35

I hope you have had better news than you were expecting.

Badger1970 · 13/12/2022 10:38

My Dad was diagnosed with liver cancer in September, and he's now in a hospice fading fast. I don't think I've ever seen someone change so quickly so I completely understand what it's like to see someone deteriorating in front of your very eyes and being powerless to change/stop it.

We also had a battle to get a diagnosis, which is still ongoing to a degree. Life can be so cruel and unfair sometimes. Am thinking of you and your family Flowers

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