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Original poster

Is anyone awake? I’m expecting bad news and I can’t sleep

1000 replies

MyCake · 13/12/2022 04:32

My dh is unwell and we have no idea what is wrong. We are getting scan results this morning but they were only to rule things out so probably not conclusive. However, I can’t see how this isn’t going to be something serious as he has declined so rapidly.

I feel sick. We’ve already lost most of his income through him being off work so I’m also worried sick about money. We have enough savings to manage another 2 months at the most.

My dc are already suffering, despite them
mot fully understanding how serious the symptoms are, as dh is pretty much housebound and I can’t physically drive them to all the clubs and places they need to go by myself.
I also work full time although thankfully I’m a teacher and break up this week.

My heart is broken just looking at him disappearing in front of me. The doctors are slow to take his symptoms seriously so sadly by the time he was sent to hospital he was already unable to work and very ill. It could of course be something very treatable but at the moment I feel suffocated with the fear of the worst case scenarios.
I am writing this as I’m lonely and scared and wondered if anyone is awake to say hello.

I have name changed in case anyone recognises me from this post. If you do, please don’t mention this as I am doing a great job of appearing strong on the outside.

OP posts:
Joystir59 · 13/12/2022 16:08

Thinking of you and hoping you get some answers and some solutions very soon

ilikethatname · 13/12/2022 16:15

Oh I know the insomnia worry very well and have significant health concerns for a few family members of ours at present.

When this gets bad I listen to a book in audible to distract myself and tell myself that worrying won’t change anything. (Even though it’s naturally what you do…)

Sending a handhold.

figmaofmyimagination · 13/12/2022 16:16

Bless your heart. Really hope you have some solid news and a plan x

EUwannabe · 13/12/2022 16:23

So sorry OP. What an awful situation for you and your family to be in. I hope you get some answers soon and a treatment plan for whatever you’re dealing with. I hope you manage to get a bit of rest tonight x

Tickledpickled · 13/12/2022 16:30

I really feel for you op, how frightening. One step at a time xx

Findingmypurposeinlife · 13/12/2022 16:31

Sorry if it has already been covered but can you get in touch with Citizens advice and see if you might be eligible for any additional financial support? Even as a carer?
Hope everything goes OK.

lunar1 · 13/12/2022 16:42

I've been thinking of you all day, whatever the news you got the MN vipers are here for you. 💕

Jazzandblues · 13/12/2022 16:52

This sound frightening. Thinking of you.

Nocutenamesleft · 13/12/2022 17:44

I ended up thin and gaunt and dark looking. Like I’d laid in the sun. I craved salt and the dr kept saying I was depressed

All my bloods and scans came back normal but I could barely stand. I went to an and e tons and I just felt like I was dying.

I was diagnosed with Addisons disease after a trip to an and e and I saw a really newly turned dr. Who had just done a rotation in endocrine and seen a patient who had adrenal insufficiency after pituitary surgery.

without a diagnosis it’s 100% death. So I’m so glad I finally saw that dr!

pm me if you need a friend.

Original poster
MyCake · 13/12/2022 17:48

I’ve just read every message and am truly grateful for the support and handholds.

We saw the same registrar as before and also a consultant who did a very thorough examination that was practically a full MOT! He also linked dh’s symptoms with another issue he has that we didn’t think was related until today.
He took the weight loss and rapid decline after months of mild symptoms very seriously and listened to all of our questions.

Good news was the brain scan was clear.
Less good news is that they are very concerned and he is clearly very unwell. He’s been put on the urgent pathway for lumbar puncture, X-rays, full CT and more mri scans. The consultant found some extra issues and concerns on examination and although he doesn’t definitely suspect it’s sinister, they are quickly ruling things out.

This thread is really outing now so I’m glad I name changed! In case anyone recognises me I won’t actually name the conditions they are looking for but some autoimmune diseases that he is considering would be very treatable but other potential causes would be harder to treat.

I came away reassured but sadly dh has come away more worried. Thankfully all these tests should be done in the next couple of weeks.

You’re all lovely thank you. I’m off to the concert now and napped this afternoon!

OP posts:
Bluevelvetsofa · 13/12/2022 17:51

Thank you for the update. A difficult day for you, but I hope you feel things are moving forward and that treatment can start.

Wishing you and your DH well.

niugboo · 13/12/2022 17:51

Fingers crossed for a speedy non serious answer.

Katieeb24 · 13/12/2022 18:02

I’m hoping you have some answers soon and your husband has a speedy recovery xx

Goingforarun · 13/12/2022 18:07

Yes Thank you for taking the time to update us. Things are moving and you may both feel suprisingly better once everything is clearer.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 13/12/2022 18:14

Thank you for updating during such a hard day
All the tests have been ordered and once they're done, you'll feel a little brighter
Treat yourself kindly and take all the listening ears and support offered
My thoughts are with you and DH

NewNameForXmas · 13/12/2022 18:17

Wishing you and your DH all the best OP.

Netaporter · 13/12/2022 18:23

enjoy the concert. Sending positive vibes to your DH.

Echobelly · 13/12/2022 18:33

I'm glad you're getting things taken seriously now - fingers crossed for some more clarity and a treatment plan soon.

CottonSock · 13/12/2022 18:42

Didn't want to read and run as I was almost in an identical situation with dh a year ago this week. They tested for everything and some of those things were very scary. Some of the tests were also very scary. I did lots of Internet searching for the very worst prognosis.

My story has mixed good and bad. He still can't work or drive.
But he is alive and they didn't find anything specific in his case.
Feel free to message me as I am probably identifiable on here to those who know us.
Hugs to you. Take some time for yourself. Symptoms of stress crept up on me (tinnitus, reflux, drinking too much).

Americano75 · 13/12/2022 19:21

That all sounds pretty positive! All the best to you and your family, hopefully they get things sorted soon.

PissedOffAmericanWoman · 13/12/2022 19:45

MyCake · 13/12/2022 04:32

My dh is unwell and we have no idea what is wrong. We are getting scan results this morning but they were only to rule things out so probably not conclusive. However, I can’t see how this isn’t going to be something serious as he has declined so rapidly.

I feel sick. We’ve already lost most of his income through him being off work so I’m also worried sick about money. We have enough savings to manage another 2 months at the most.

My dc are already suffering, despite them
mot fully understanding how serious the symptoms are, as dh is pretty much housebound and I can’t physically drive them to all the clubs and places they need to go by myself.
I also work full time although thankfully I’m a teacher and break up this week.

My heart is broken just looking at him disappearing in front of me. The doctors are slow to take his symptoms seriously so sadly by the time he was sent to hospital he was already unable to work and very ill. It could of course be something very treatable but at the moment I feel suffocated with the fear of the worst case scenarios.
I am writing this as I’m lonely and scared and wondered if anyone is awake to say hello.

I have name changed in case anyone recognises me from this post. If you do, please don’t mention this as I am doing a great job of appearing strong on the outside.

MyCake I am so sorry you are going through this. My husband almost died of sepsis when our child was first born and I was caring for her while he was hanging by a thread in the ICU. It was horrible and I was so afraid. I know exactly what you are feeling and it’s horrible. My husband turned out okay but I still get angry and have nightmares from it. I do hope your DH pulls through. I will be praying for your family. I would not wish this pain on my worst enemy.

Fleurdaisy · 13/12/2022 19:53

Hopefully you’ll get some clearer answers after all the tests are carried out. Why or why does Britain limit the number of scans? If your husband had one MRI scan it would have been more sensible to scan his entire body while he was there , thus giving doctors a more comprehensive picture.
Everything crossed for you.

coodawoodashooda · 13/12/2022 19:59

Sending you prayers op.

Mum233 · 13/12/2022 20:24

I couldn’t read and run. Sending you lots of positive thoughts xxx

2018SoFarSoGreat · 13/12/2022 20:33

@MyCake no wonder you are worried and scared and feel so alone. You're effectively carrying all the weight on your own shoulders, your DH health, relative illness, money, DC, it is too much. I'm so sorry!

The holidays is a horrible time to have to 'mask' all of the above feelings. That too is hard for you to do. So be sure to come here and rant and rave and get some comfort, some support, and the love and well wishes of strangers. We're here for you. You are not alone.

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