Does anyone remember my thread where I was upset about being accused of smelling of alcohol at work?

[TheLightSideOfTheMoon]

I can’t find it.

I followed everyone’s advice. I documented everything, I raised a grievance where I had a meeting with my manager and HR, I left the meeting feeling hopeful that things might be resolved.

They did nothing. They asked me to name any witnesses which I did. The witnesses haven’t been asked anything (they’d have told me if they had). Nothing has changed. I still feel uncomfortable AF at work.

Last week it was the birthday of one of the men I look after. I made him a birthday cake and brought it up to work.

I’ve since found out that I’ve been accused of lacing it with alcohol (which reacts negatively with his medication). Apparently she could taste it.

I’m gutted. I’m really worried about my reputation at work. I have no idea what I’ve done to deserve this.

I’ve written a letter to my boss and another staff member wrote a statement saying she ate the cake and it just tasted of cake.

I’ve sent the woman who said this a cease and desist letter, but posted it on Sunday and with the postal strikes I have no idea when she’ll get it.

I love the people I look after and cannot leave.

Going to speak to my boss today and ask for emergency annual leave. If he says no I’ll get a GP’s note.

I’ve been tossing and turning all night. My anxiety is through the roof. I have no idea where to go from here.

What do I do?

additional points here

1.) care agency management- notoriously ineffectual. Do not hold your breath. Leave and seek employment elsewhere

2.) the union many not take this case on specifically if you join after the initial event

3.) report her to the police

I'd ask your manager for a timescale. It isn't reasonable for him to have this hanging over you indefinitely. He should be able to tell you how long his investigation is going to take and when he will reach a decision. To tell you that you should simply trust in him to look into the grievance without any further information isn't good enough.

Perhaps a legal sounding letter to the manager asking for details of the procedure and timeline

Op go see your GP and get him to sign you off with stress.
Then look for another job.

Seriously, ACAS and all the rest are never going to make the job a good place to be. They'll always be a hidden stress associated with this job.

The woman is a bully and your boss is a useless wimp. Leave them too it.
Find something better

www.gov.uk/workplace-bullying-and-harassment

Go over his head. There are laws against bullying and harassment in the workplace. And they can get in trouble for not protecting you. Get a union rep and arrange another meeting with them.

Also, police. Asap.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4669732-ive-been-accused-of-coming-into-work-smelling-of-alcohol

I know it doesnt help, but this came up underneath the thread.

I hope you're ok OP

It's much easier for management to put the onus on the victim to 'fix' the situation since that doesn't require any discipline or documentation. All they have to do is tell the victim to 'woman/man up'.

You really need to get your union involved. They are your advocates.

If you are prescribed any sort of controlled drug and are giving it to this woman, you could be in serious trouble.
I hope you didn’t give her any-
Your meds should be private.

Is there any chance she is stealing meds from residents?

It doesn’t sound at all like a healthy working environment.

Who on Earth puts booze in cake?

Sounds a paranoid place, and not pleasant.
Maybe move to a new job?

Your manager's point about freedom of speech is really weird. Freedom of speech doesn't apply to telling lies about a colleague. The manager really needs to make it clear that it's not acceptable. Hope this gets sorted soon.

it's not only weird it is bullying. Freedom of speech ends where it impacts someone else.

And yes, unfortunately a union won't (most likely) be able to help you with this. For everyone reading: please join a union. Even if your workplace doesn't have a rep, or even if your workplace say "no there isn't one" there always is.

OP, who else was in the meeting? HR? That's not an acceptable outcome. Please write down immediately what was said and then when you've regained composure, pop back on here to have people help you draft a suitable email. But scribble some notes now.

Absolutely shocking attitude from your manager. Please look after yourself and take legal advice.

They have a duty of care towards you and they are failing badly!

Get legal advice. The way they’re treating you is not right and I’d be surprised if it’s legal. It sounds like a shitshow.

You have to be a member of a Union and paying monthly subs.

Wow this brings back memories for me op, I really feel for you as I’ve been in the same position. Even down to my belongings being vandalised. I would agree with others that a lot of this will be deflection and projection on her part.

Please look after yourself, a woman I worked with targeted me and made it her mission to get me sacked/gossiped about etc it was horrendous. I lost 2.5 stone, I couldn’t sleep for worrying what the next complaint or damage would be. Even came to the point she slashed, yes slashed with a knife my belongings and management still didn’t care. Please take the advice of people on here.

Is this a residential care home for elderly people? - sorry haven't read the previous thread. If so, is it part of a chain? (you mention a manager and HR) or are you dealing with a poorly trained manager. To be honest I would look for a new job. Also at the new job I would not become quite so involved with either the clients or colleagues.

Op make sure you have a paper trail of everything, have you emailed in response today? Is there any trail from your manager about today?

I hope you are okay, I remember the awful dread when this was happening to me, please take care, can you go to a friends tonight or something to have a coffee?

I hope you're ok. I'm so angry for you. What a shit show. Will you get sick pay if work has said you can't work at the moment? How long does he want you to be off?

They are aware of how much you are struggling with this so they owe you a duty of care . I would have a word with ACAS ( it’s free) . Don’t let them walk over you . Get a letter from your Dr and then take a deep breath and fight .

I've been following your posts, OP. I've just read some to my husband, who works with ex-offenders every day. He says the addicts he encounters are some of the most sly, conniving and manipulative people he deals with; they are now met by 2 staff members so it's not one person's word against the other!

He also said your manager is lazy as hell; you have raised a grievance but he or she is abdicating their responsibility to act by turning round and trying to blame you.

I hope you're keeping a record of everything that has been happening or said to you, including being pestered for money and medication. She (the bully) might even be stealing from the patients.

Employers like this need taking to tribunals, and then to the cleaner's. I know you love the people you look after, but you'll be caring for no-one if you're having a nervous breakdown.

Please keep strong. Sending you our very best wishes.

I am so sorry to read that things have not progressed in your favour, I have been shocked reading about all the things that have been happening to you at your workplace and really feel for you. It sounds as if you are a skilled and talented worker who is very employable and that you deserve to be in a work environment where you are appreciated and valued. Would you consider looking for alternative employment? The reason I ask this is that given the lack of a decent and fair response from your manager and the fact that this colleague, like all bullies is most unlikely to stop behaving in this way, you are better off out of that place. It can be hard to believe in yourself when you have been worn down by workplace bullies, who like all bullies operate by undermining your sense of self-worth and autonomy. I won't bore you with my story in full but I left a job many years ago after being relentlessly bullied by a colleague and the relief was profound. I heard on the grapevine that my bully then found themselves another target which is another thing they do, they rarely change and they rarely stop. One day you will look back on all this and be glad you escaped.

I would, whilst it is fresh in your mind write down as much of the meeting that you can remember and when you have calmed down sufficiently I would put it in an email.
Something along the lines of

Thank you for the meeting yesterday
This is a summary of what was discussed.

The meeting was to discuss the lies that X has been telling about me and the effect it is having on me.

I brought in a cake for Mr Y’s birthday that X said was laced with alcohol which would react to Mr Y’s medication

List the incidents that were discussed

From our discussion it appears that you believe the lies that X is stating to others about me are just her exercising her “freedom of speech”

You then sent me home as I am not fit to work as I am allowing myself to be affected by her verbal attacks which you are stating are “freedom of speech”

If I have missed anything out please let me know by replying to this email within the next 7 days.

This way no one can add anything or alter anything at a later date.

I would look at seeing if you can get a free half hour with a solicitor to see where you stand on constructive dismissal.
I would also report your vandalism and hacking of your accounts to the police.

It might be bad luck and a coincidence but something just doesn’t feel right about this

It sounds like you have a good case for constructive dismissal and possibly slander and deformation of character. I’ve been bullied in the workplace and it feels like shit. Please fight this horrid nutjob. You’ve been given some excellent advice here, please don’t feel that you can’t fight it without a union, you can 💐

Ask your manager for a copy of what was discussed in writing.

During a 1:1, hearing they should be someone who takes notes.

Contact your local citizens advice bureau and ACAS.

Don’t let this go OP.

Anyone know where Toyahs pjs in tonights Corrie are from?
Gorgeous!!