Does anyone remember my thread where I was upset about being accused of smelling of alcohol at work?

[TheLightSideOfTheMoon]

I can’t find it.

I followed everyone’s advice. I documented everything, I raised a grievance where I had a meeting with my manager and HR, I left the meeting feeling hopeful that things might be resolved.

They did nothing. They asked me to name any witnesses which I did. The witnesses haven’t been asked anything (they’d have told me if they had). Nothing has changed. I still feel uncomfortable AF at work.

Last week it was the birthday of one of the men I look after. I made him a birthday cake and brought it up to work.

I’ve since found out that I’ve been accused of lacing it with alcohol (which reacts negatively with his medication). Apparently she could taste it.

I’m gutted. I’m really worried about my reputation at work. I have no idea what I’ve done to deserve this.

I’ve written a letter to my boss and another staff member wrote a statement saying she ate the cake and it just tasted of cake.

I’ve sent the woman who said this a cease and desist letter, but posted it on Sunday and with the postal strikes I have no idea when she’ll get it.

I love the people I look after and cannot leave.

Going to speak to my boss today and ask for emergency annual leave. If he says no I’ll get a GP’s note.

I’ve been tossing and turning all night. My anxiety is through the roof. I have no idea where to go from here.

What do I do?

Good luck OP, sounds incredibly stressful but hopefully with your witnesses they will nip it in the bud sharpish.

Hope your meeting went ok

Hopefully all went ok op, thinking of you

Any possibility the trashed garden and hacked emails/social media could also be connected to this person? If you’ve never had your garden trashed and it didnt happen to other neighbours and isn’t known to happen in your area that’s quite an unfortunate coincidence. Likewise the email and social media hacking if you normally keep these secure and you havent had this happen before. You can’t just go making accusations of course but its something to be alert to. Does she know your address and any personal details like your personal email address?

I really hope it went well for you today, OP. If you are struggling, stay off work and call in sick while you get some advice.

I hope it all went well today OP.

I agree with PP that there is a good chance that she's drinking and is deflecting/looking to attribute blame etc. If anyone thinks she is drunk she'll then claim that you have spiked her food/drink.

In your position I would ask management to keep some breathalysers on the premesis so that you can be checked any time that an allegation is made. "In the spirit of fairness" I would also ask them to breathalyse her each time she makes an allegation. I suspect that the problem will be fairly swiftly solved!

Good luck, hope meeting helps rsther than causes you any more upset.

Good luck. I hope the meeting with her was to tell her to put a sock in it prior to a reassuring meeting with you.

She sounds unhinged.
If there’s no Union contact ACAS, they’ll be able to advise you.

@TheLightSideOfTheMoon hope your meeting went well and your feeling a bit better about everything 💐

I remember your first thread. She sounds unhinged!

How did it go today?

I remember your original post and had been wondering how things were going for you. Hope your meeting has gone well today.

She sounds an absolute nightmare. Does she have form for this? Can you threaten legal action? Defamation of character? Libel? I had a similarish situation at work where someone sent an email to about 1,000 people both within and outside the organisation accusing me falsely of being unprofessional. It was potentially very damaging to my reputation. I was completely gobsmacked and insensced as it came out of nowhere. My line manager was supportive and got things moving for me. The person was eventually kicked out, but bloody hell it was stressful and incredibly upsetting. People tend to think where there's smoke there's fire. The reality is there are some nasty unhinged people out there who will make up any batshit nonsense. You have all my sympathy. Hope it goes well for you.

Hope it went well op, this is awful for you

Sounds like you are being bullied. Try not to engage with the lies you know the truth. Focus on the bullies and the false information not on your innocent self. Don't imagine into the future, eg new staff, just focus on immediate stop to this. Do you work somewhere with an HR department? If so can you ask for support?

Stay strong, bullies feed off vulnerability.

I’m being sent home.

I’m too upset and anxious at work apparently and I’m being made to take time off.

If I don’t have A/L left I’m fucked. Can barely afford to live as it is.

Apparently the bully has freedom of speech so she’s allowed to make allegations and I should trust the manager to deal with it appropriately.

He’s right about me not being fit to work. I’m not. I’m mid breakdown. But that’s because of the bullying at work.

So, now I’m sitting in the office waiting for my boss to organise himself so I can see how fucked I am.

That's terrible, does the company have a bullying/harassment policy?

Bloody hell. So she can make any allegations and as many as she wants and the boss does sod all?

See a solicitor for advice or CAB.

I remember your last thread, and think you should go to ACAS.

OK. So now you need ACAS and any other support you can get.

The way my boss feels is that I’m letting her get to me.

I am in control of my feelings and therefore I’m the issue.

I’m really heartbroken. I really love my job.

Please ask to discuss the bullying policy. Repeated accusations with no foundation can't be anything else x

So sorry to see your update. What nonsense about her freedom of speech! She does not have the right to make false accusations and bully you. Have some time off then get some legal/ professional advice. Are you a union member or can you join?

This is awful, no job is worth staying in and being treated this way

Completely agree with this.

Get someone to sit with you and bullet point all of the incidents, meetings, conversations etc factually and without emotion. Then give ACAS a call.