Does anyone remember my thread where I was upset about being accused of smelling of alcohol at work?

[TheLightSideOfTheMoon]

I can’t find it.

I followed everyone’s advice. I documented everything, I raised a grievance where I had a meeting with my manager and HR, I left the meeting feeling hopeful that things might be resolved.

They did nothing. They asked me to name any witnesses which I did. The witnesses haven’t been asked anything (they’d have told me if they had). Nothing has changed. I still feel uncomfortable AF at work.

Last week it was the birthday of one of the men I look after. I made him a birthday cake and brought it up to work.

I’ve since found out that I’ve been accused of lacing it with alcohol (which reacts negatively with his medication). Apparently she could taste it.

I’m gutted. I’m really worried about my reputation at work. I have no idea what I’ve done to deserve this.

I’ve written a letter to my boss and another staff member wrote a statement saying she ate the cake and it just tasted of cake.

I’ve sent the woman who said this a cease and desist letter, but posted it on Sunday and with the postal strikes I have no idea when she’ll get it.

I love the people I look after and cannot leave.

Going to speak to my boss today and ask for emergency annual leave. If he says no I’ll get a GP’s note.

I’ve been tossing and turning all night. My anxiety is through the roof. I have no idea where to go from here.

What do I do?

YOu have to go to your manager and report this person for harassment in the workplace. If this is forcing you to quit then you need to have it on record that you are being bullied so you can take them to court for constructive dismissal afterwards. Keep at them. Go in three times a day every day until this is resolved. It is mad that she is allowed to slander you like this.

This is harassment and bullying. You need to put a formal written complaint.

Don’t stress yourself too much about getting hold of the GP right now, don’t forget you can self-certify for the first seven days of sickness.

My boss hasn’t called me back and has ignored my message.

I’m trying to get hold of my GP but keep getting the message saying there’s no one to take my call.

I feel very low. This whole situation is seriously messing with my head.

Call again. Send another message. Tell them you need to have a meeting as you are being bullied in the workplace.

The garden and email hacking - are these coincidences or are you implying this individual may be responsible?

How do you know what she is saying? Who is telling you this?

Honestly, I'd be writing a letter naming and shaming this person, saying exactly what's going on and saying I was fine to have 400 alcohol tests to prove my innocence and giving the letter to every single person in the office. When asked about it, I'd be 100% honest. People are often bullies if they think they can get away with it without being found out - name and shame her, she'll probably back off.

There will be a union, you just dont have a rep on site. Go on the internet and type in " union for whatever your job is" you can contact them by phone. They can then send someone to your workplace to talk to you. They can be present at any meetings you have and will give you support and legal guidance. In the meantime write to your boss and tell him that as they have failed to address your concerns and protect you from work based bullying and harrassment you are now taking union/ACAS/legal advice. That you will not be attending any meetings without represenation( this can be a friend/ colleague/ union rep), you want an assigned minute taker in every meeting and you want copies of the notes and you are lodging a System Access request for all previous notes taken.
I was a union rep for years, trust me, as soon as you start putting measures like thisin place they will take note. Your workplace is not protecting you so you must do it yourself.

@TheLightSideOfTheMoon - This is your original thread (in case it's useful to have a link)

www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4669732-ive-been-accused-of-coming-into-work-smelling-of-alcohol?page=1

I'd be wondering if the person who thinks you're smelling of alcohol might have an issue with their senses of taste/smell as they are apparently the only ones who are thinking like this.

I realise that it is easy for me to say try not to let this get to you (as it's clearly getting to you) but remember, it's only one person who thinks this of you. None of your clients think this and none of the other staff think it either.

I also agree with getting some union representation and following up with HR about this. It is affecting how you work and it must be stopped. If it carries on, it is entering the realm of bullying.

anyone can join a union, and you should do it asap. (they may not be able to help you with an already ongoing case though)

And again, how do you know these things are being said?

I've just read the OP's thread from last month, where she was asked if she was in a union.

It's ridiculous if she still isn't.

the British governments since Thatcher have done a brilliant job of putting people off unions.
The ignorance about a) unions and b) how they can be useful for more things than just "dragging you out on strike" is astounding.

I'm at the stage where people say "no" i say "well give back the hard-won union rights you enjoy in the workplace, and try to get them on your own." and then just watch what happens to people like OP, because often the best advice we can offer here is: join a union.

I don’t know.

This situation has made me lose all sense of reason. It’s so messed up I don’t know what the think any more.

I feel like I can’t arrange my thoughts. Everything is a jumbled mess.

@Redannie118 gives good advice. Quick google gives GMB as the union for care workers, membership is £1.30 a week and you can join by phone or via their website.
I wish you well and hope your employer supports you, this is no way to be treated in the workplace (or elsewhere). It is bullying and obv should not be tolerated.
And also 'thank you' for working in the care environment, I know it's a tough job for little financial reward.
Please do not let one person ruin your life, health and career.
You need support, please join the union.

I remember your first thread OP.

You're being bullied appallingly. How long has this person been a member of staff at your place of work?

It’s one person accusing you? She’s sounds batshit. You need to speak direct to your manager to get action. ACAS is useful as a union.

I read your last thread and didn't comment.

No advice at all but just to say that this is absolutely disgusting. It is bullying. I hope someone can give you some sound advice on your situation.

I remember your thread op. Sorry this is still happening it you.... Have you considered a body cam for when she is around? Or quickly put your phone on record?

She sounds unhinged and unsafe to be around vulnerable people.

She does come across as slightly unhinged but I thought I’d look bitter if I said it.

She’s been there since around April. I’ve been there about four years.

When she first started she was living in a local halfway house for recovering addicts (no judgement) and seems to have a troubled history with her family. This is why I was happy to help her out somewhat.

Then it got weird, her wanting my medication and asking to borrow money. I think me saying no to these requests was the tipping point.

Ok so looking at the whole picture, staff members know you much better than they know here.

Ie, they know you are not an alcoholic or troublesome.

Presumably no other members of staff are giving you grief?
Have you colleagues been supportive of you?

Report her for bullying. Make sure that you use the word bullying. Email your manager and copy HR into the email.

Join a bloody union ASAP

I say this as gently as possible, but you have got to buck up and demand action from your boss and HR. Staying off work isn't going to fix anything. It's time to get angry and stand up for yourself. You haven't done anything wrong so don't behave as if you have. This woman is unhinged and you need to show her that her crazy lies won't get her anywhere.

Have you joined a union yet OP?

If not, why not?

Then it got weird, her wanting my medication and asking to borrow money. I think me saying no to these requests was the tipping point.

You need to sit down over a couple of cups of coffee and a couple of days and write down everything that's happened between you and this colleague since she started working there. You're dripping into your threads details that support your position by building a larger picture and I'm now concerned that you may be raising individual actions with your manager and HR and not setting out the full story. It will take you a few sessions to get everything down in the order it happened. If you've got a friend you can trust (that does not work where you work), having someone else read through it and ask questions about any gaps or missing details will help you. Once you've got the full story written down, it's time to go back to HR.