Does anyone remember my thread where I was upset about being accused of smelling of alcohol at work?

[TheLightSideOfTheMoon]

I can’t find it.

I followed everyone’s advice. I documented everything, I raised a grievance where I had a meeting with my manager and HR, I left the meeting feeling hopeful that things might be resolved.

They did nothing. They asked me to name any witnesses which I did. The witnesses haven’t been asked anything (they’d have told me if they had). Nothing has changed. I still feel uncomfortable AF at work.

Last week it was the birthday of one of the men I look after. I made him a birthday cake and brought it up to work.

I’ve since found out that I’ve been accused of lacing it with alcohol (which reacts negatively with his medication). Apparently she could taste it.

I’m gutted. I’m really worried about my reputation at work. I have no idea what I’ve done to deserve this.

I’ve written a letter to my boss and another staff member wrote a statement saying she ate the cake and it just tasted of cake.

I’ve sent the woman who said this a cease and desist letter, but posted it on Sunday and with the postal strikes I have no idea when she’ll get it.

I love the people I look after and cannot leave.

Going to speak to my boss today and ask for emergency annual leave. If he says no I’ll get a GP’s note.

I’ve been tossing and turning all night. My anxiety is through the roof. I have no idea where to go from here.

What do I do?

I am doing it.

Some of the care worker/support worker ones are ONLY if you work in a home with a registered nurse on duty. So I’m reading through.

But I am researching, I promise. I have screenshots and everything.

Here you go...

www.gmb.org.uk/

OMG I can't believe you are still going through this . You really are being targeted OP , I would inform your boss that you will be involving the police . the person who is doing this to you is a sick bully . Please get some advice from a solicitor and keep as much evidence as possible and please please speak to your GP about how it is affecting your MH . Stay safe OP 💐

I’ve since found out that I’ve been accused of lacing it with alcohol (which reacts negatively with his medication).

@TheLightSideOfTheMoonas PPs have asked, how did you find out about this accusation?

I found out because the senior at work asked me about it.

I found out that I apparently smelt of alcohol the same way.

I’m friends with the senior, she knows me well enough to know she can just ask and get a straight answer.

And what is she doing about it?
is it being recorded as formal supervision?

So have these accusations been reported to this senior or has she heard on the grapevine?

As a senior she’d surely have a duty to investigate rather than just ask you. You seem to be hearing a lot about accusations but nothing had been done about any of it, what if you were doing what you’ve been accused of? I may have missed it but I can’t see anything except you contacting your boss, why is your boss not contacting you?

Are you sure the source is genuine?

You shouldn't be told who said it. Your work place seems ruddy useless with confidentiality.

Yes, she seems a bit of a nutter, but to TELL you it was her that said it is very unprofessional

I have to say just taking your word isn’t particularly professional either. for your own sake you should be able to rely on being properly cleared of any accusations too.

Email HR, cc your manager.

Tell them that the repeated lies and harassment are causing you real distress and you feel bullied and unsupported.
Say that you have contacted your GP for an appointment to discuss your mental health. Say that you feel your GP might recommend being signed off.
Tell them that you will be raising a new grievance to reflect the latest accusation and how it has been handled.

They should be pretty worried about the fallout this could create, particularly as there is such a shortage of social care staff and they will struggle to cover Christmas shifts.

And for goodness sake, join the union as recommended upthread.

Yup

I remember OP. I can’t believe the comment about alcohol in cake. Seriously pathetic.

She's dangerous.

First I think you need to shore yourself up. Deep breaths. Clear your mind and figure out ways to get your calm back. For me, a few minutes prayer/meditation and deep breathing are key. Maybe for you it's a walk or something else.

It is very unlikely that the unprovable accusations of a woman who clearly has mental health issues is going to cause you any serious harm. It's stressful, and difficult but do not lose perspective.

Sit down and write out the facts about everything that has happened. Include dates where possible. Keep this as a running log.

Is this woman a coworker or a client?

I would look for a new job - it isn't worth your mental health. Management are doing nothing so I'd move on.

You're an experienced carer, you will find something else where you're treated properly.

Can I ask you @TheLightSideOfTheMoon if you happen to be diabetic or have an underlying medical condition that hasn't been diagnosed yet perhaps?

I've been trying to find out why someone might think that the breath of someone else might smell of alcohol when the other party hasn't had a drop to drink and there are two things that jump out at me. One is ketones that are released if you're diabetic and they can make someone's breath smell of alcohol. The other is where bacteria in the gut releases molecules and these are transferred during the breathing process in the lungs and the breath out can smell of alcohol.

I'm not saying that you have either condition but if either might be a possibility, you could see your GP and get some help for them.

I'm sorry, but you really need to address this directly with your manager. This woman is potentially dangerous and her next trick will be to accuse you of harming a service user.

Please do something immediately to address these issues. No messing around because things can get ugly with these types of people.

The cake story is further evidence of defamatory harassment (and the nuttiness of the accuser)

Don't go off sick. It's playing into the hands of an abuser who clearly intends to get you sacked/drive you out.

You are being abused and harassed at work. Repeated harassment that causes you distress and alarm is a criminal offence wherever it happens.

The nature of this (repeated ) harassment, is repeated false defamatory claims of a kind that undermine your professional role and directly threaten your employment.

In your shoes I'd tell HR that to protect your job and work reputation you are taking these attacks to the police and intend to press charges in order to obtain a court restraining order.

www.getimpactly.com/post/most-common-types-of-harassment

www.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/sh/stalking-harassment/how-to-report-stalking-harassment/

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/law-and-courts/discrimination/taking-action-about-discrimination/taking-action-about-harassment/

She didn’t smell my breath.

She was nowhere near me at any point. I was only there ten minutes.

So, my boss HAS pulled her up on it today. He HAS informed her that there’s now two grievances about her. And he IS now investigating everything.

(And I know the last thing is 100% true - my friend is one of the witnesses).

I can’t leave. I love the people I look after.

Word on the street (work gossip) is that she’s looking for another job. I sincerely hope she succeeds.

Waiting for the GP to call me. Appointment was 4.10pm but they’re clearly busy.

Would a GP briefly outline in a letter the affect this is having on me to add to my grievance? Or is that not something they do.

I shouldn’t think a GP would without paying for it but you’re entitled to request an OT assessment through work.

Good news on your update OP. Finally some action. She'll be gone soon

Good update, OP.

@TheLightSideOfTheMoon - fair enough. I was just trying to put forward a suggestion. I'm delighted that your manager is taking it seriously and has put her on warning and is investigating.

That must be a huge relief to you.

This

Your local Citizens Advice Bureau should be able to help. They might also be able to appoint you someone to accompany you to meetings with your boss/HR, if you feel that would be useful.