How long am I expected to go without food?

[chappysays]

DD (10 months) has been in hospital for 4 days now

I asked to go for a wee on the first night she came in, the nurse I pulled to the side to ask if someone could watch her said 'I'll be honest, no. We are so busy right now, really short staffed'

So I waited another hour and asked again. The nurse who was administering her meds said okay but she only had a few minutes. I did a quick wee and ran back

Second and third night, nobody to watch her whilst I run to get something to eat. Second night there I ate DD's dinner (she isn't eating much at all right now because of her breathing, and didn't want it).

I got a telling off because apparently they need to monitor what DD eats. I said but I can tell you she wouldn't even have a mouthful. The nurse said 'yes and now you've had the lot, I can't tell what she'd had to put in her notes'

It is now the 4th day here and apart from me sneaking bits and bobs, I've had nothing. I am exhausted, haven't slept much and hungry. I need a change of clothes

Nobody to drop anything down to me. It's just awful

How long can I really be expected to go without? DD is presenting as energetic and happy, it's just her breathing but you wouldn't know to look at her. They call it 'happy wheezing'

So it's even more exhausting because she's acting normally and not like an unwell baby. So you have to constantly be on guard as it's a hard cot with bars and she keeps throwing herself backwards whilst trying to stand

That was so kind of Sarita to help, especially whilst with her own children. Some Mumsnetters really do go the extra mile and it's heartwarming.

It must be galling for most medical staff at previous hospital to witness parents being repeatedly left in what were your circumstances, wanting to help them out of basic compassion, yet being prevented from doing so by (illogical) rulings beyond their control.

OP, glad to hear you're getting far better support now. Although it must be such a terribly anxious and distressing time, your daughter's transfer to GOSH means she'll get the very best skilled treatment.

Hang on in there. Sending her and you thoughts and strength

Thank you but I wouldn't get too upset for them. Shockingly, most of those nurses treated me with absolute discontent

Again, lots of experience with Addenbrookes and now Great Ormond Street. The nursing staff are completely different. Even at UCL in London, they were lovely to my other DC.

I am shocked at how snotty most of them providing care are at the L&D!

@chappysays sadly there are hospitals with very poor cultures. Our local one is like it.

Hope your daughter recovers soon. Having a child in hospital is one of the most stressful experiences I've encountered.

Your post was rather insulting to every poster who had said wtte "Not all nurses are angels", because that is definitely not "tarring [them] all with the same brush".

Why should the NHS not be criticised when it is getting something wrong? As for instance when it is expecting an individual to do 24-hour child-care shifts without respite, food or hygiene-breaks? This may not be deliberate, it may not be policy, but if it is in actuality implemented by nurses that definitely suggests imperfection somewhere in the system, and it needs to be criticised until it is put right.

Not all the mothers here reporting that sort of crazily inhumane treatment of mothers with sick children in hospital are liars, I would suppose.

Is DD in her own room or in a bay on a ward? Could you ask another parent to go to the shop for you and you'll watch both DC?

It's a culture thing, some wards or hospitals have a positive vibe of staff who are prioritising patients needs, even though they are doing 12.5 hour shifts, and some are terrible, dismissive, 'too busy' (even when not crazy busy). People feed off others in that regard. I've been on another ward recently and the staff were fantastic, nothing was too much trouble for them, and getting toast and tea out of hours would be no big deal. It's not just about staffing levels, it's about how they regard patients, and that rubs off on everyone who works there.

How are you getting on @chappysays ?

@flowngo I am okay, tired but that's because I'm by DD's side a lot

She has Chronic lung disease and a complication from that, hopefully be home soon :)

Care we have received in all areas puts other hospitals to shame. Their heads should hang in shame!!

Whilst not defending the treatment you received at L&D the vast majority of hospitals have nothing like the resources of Great Ormond Street and no hope whatsoever of offering a similar standard of care.

Paradoxically GOSH is one of the few hospitals in the country where nurses are striking today.

My local hospital offers really good paediatric care including for carers, even just fold-down beds by every bedside, I don't think they are especially well-funded. I dread my dd going onto adult wards.

Happy to pop and see you tomorrow morn as will be in the area. Just PM me or let me know here.