To feel like a criminal for owning this-what to do ethically?

[Necklaceowner]

Name changed obviously!

My ex gave me a diamond necklace and bracelet set while we were dating. We've been split for roughly five years and it was given to me early on in the relationship so quite a long time ago now.

I found out about my ex's chequered past in a 'drip feed' while dating them.

I have recently learned that this jewelry was obtained via a house burglary.

It's not worth mega but enough, roughly about £800 second hand.

I guess I've absolutely no chance of finding its rightful owner-ex can't even remember which burglary it was nor which town it was in although not many to choose from.

I absolutely love it, I only ever wore it on occasion as It's rather 'blingy'.

A friend has suggested I put it up on various local FB pages explaining how I obtained it and asking if anyone had it stolen but this seems that it still could end up with someone who hadn't ever owned it, and could open a can of worms for me/my abusive ex.

What would you do?

Perhaps sell and give the money to a charity that supports victims of similar crimes?

That’s not necessarily the case.

Someone I used to work with was burgled some years ago, and had jewellery stolen.
They’d been able to provide the police with photos of the jewellery, and some time after the burglary, the police recovered the jewellery and returned it to them.

So it does get returned to the original owner sometimes.

It doesn’t matter what the police will or won’t do with it though, does it? It isn’t yours, and so you can’t keep it or sell it. That’s just the facts. You can feel sad that you used and enjoyed it while someone else was missing it, and sad that you were unwillingly made party to it all, and sad that you dated a criminal, but you can’t use that to give yourself power to decide what happens with a stolen item that you’ve come to be in possession of.

We were burgled a few years ago. They took the jewellery I inherited from my granny, including the bracelet my grandpa gave her for her 21st birthday. Obviously we claimed on our insurance and were recompensed. If it was returned to us it would give us a moral dilemma because we’d need to repay the insurance company - and I can’t even remember who we were insured with.

If it was my jewellery I’d prefer you to keep it. I wouldn’t want to open the insurance can of worms nor would I want the items any more, they’d always feel tainted and remind me of how horribly upsetting the burglary was.

Personally I would sell it and give the money to charity. I couldn’t live with keeping it. Let some good come of it.

Now you know it’s stolen you are committing the offence of handling stolen goods by keeping it, making you liable to criminal prosecution. It’s not yours to dispose of regardless of what you do with the money. You need to hand it in asap.

Oh sure your ex only ever burgled other criminals. Wtf!

No good will come of it if she gets charged with an offence, having knowingly sold stolen goods.

I know. Total fiction.

It will probably belong to the insurance Company now. The owners may have been paid out.

You should hand it in to the police. I expect its owner would like it back.

I find it worrying that someone who actually worked for the police has such low standards/morals. Surely you’re better than that, OP?

The police will do fuck all. Like this story twitter.com/AdrianYalland/status/1590451305394601984?t=bmNXOc5dEVW7kdGQwv7hFg&s=19

At this point I don't actually know what the point of them is. They certainly aren't interested in investigating government corruption

What if it was given from mum to daughter for a 21st ? What if it has huge sentimental value to its owner ? And there is NO honour amongst thieves- will it bollocks be another criminals property.

I'm police and we often do Facebook posts on recovered property.

If you keep this jewellery you are as culpable as your lovely ex .

Do the right thing . I'm amazed any police service employed you - is their vetting that shite ?

Some diamonds have a lasered number on them so they can be easily identified. Mine do. Typically it's larger diamonds that have this.

Id hand it into the police. It's really shady of you to be contemplating keeping it.

Take your anti-Police agenda elsewhere

Oh - and you feel like a criminal because you are - knowingly keeping stolen goods is handling .

Hth .

In that case why not go to a reputable auction house and ask them to check. You can say that young just discovered that your ex had a dubious past and you want to be sure that his gift to you was legit. If they identify it as stolen, then it goes to the police. If not, then you keep it with a clear conscience.

Err, surely knowingly owning stolen goods is criminal?

I would 100% give it to the police with as much about the date as you can remember, likely towns, and your ex’s name.

Aren’t you now committing a crime by knowingly being the recipient of stolen goods? You need to hand it in to the police. It’s not yours.

When we were burgled (it was a major go through of every room in the house) the police (sometime afterwards) invited us to go and look through several rooms in the police station that were filled with some of the proceeds of local burglaries. Unfortunately nothing was ours, but I suppose if we had been dishonest, we could have taken random stuff. So the police definitely tried (this was about 30+ yrs ago though) but I’m not sure how successful it was.

I’m not sure what I’d do in your position. I’d certainly want the jewellery away from me somehow though and I couldn’t possibly wear it. Somebody somewhere is wearing my mum’s engagement ring that was burgled. She is past caring now.

True story but my parent garage was burgled when they lived out in the sticks. Police did nothing. The town 20 miles down the road is a seaside town and a bit grim. My dad was down there to walk the dogs by the sea. Amazingly he saw a bloke wearing his coat!
My dad is a large farmer type and citizens arrested him with force. Police found some of my dads stuff plus other things in the blokes garage.
So you never know. Stranger things might happen if you keep it. Someone might spot you in it.

I am obviously being naïve by believing her about the criminal thing. Apologies-well I was naive enough to stay in that relationship for a long time!

Yes it looks like police is general consensus. I just know (or more accurately, heavily suspect) that no good will come of my doing that.

Thank you all :)

You worked for the police. You have had training on the law concerning burglary etc.
You know what you should legally do.

In the real world however, if this gets traced back to your abusive criminal ex, it's going to be obvious that you have handed it in and grassed him up in some way.
What would that fall out look like for you?
If he is dangerous and likely involved in criminal activity still, I would steer clear of it.

It's all well and good saying what is morally correct in an ideal world but in reality you could be targeted and repercussions might end up coming back to you

Yes, I am not sure what that would look like.. It isn't a nice person with morals that I am dealing with should something trace back.

This post is astonishing. Here we have an OP, who used to work for the Police, knowingly committing a fairly serious offence and people are umming and aahing about what she should do. The hypocrisy on here is astounding, as these will be the same posters who moan about the decline of society and what areas of the country are safe to live in!

Then don't poke the bear.

It's not nice but it is what it is. You have moved on with your life so don't invite trouble back in.

The jewellery is not worth it. Keep it or throw it down the drain and forget that chapter of your life