Thread 1 - Lifeboat Muster Point for TalkExiles

[Kucinghitam]

Gather here all ye refugees from the foundering ship of JTT, if ye be in need of "How the heck do I format my post?" "Why can't I edit my typos?" "What do those acronyms mean?" and most importantly, "Where is everybody that I used to know?"

Or just to chat randomly.

BinturongsSmellOfPopcorn · Today 01:01

Thanks, Bint! I've managed it on the computer, the Settings tab on the mobile seems to far more limited.

Hi Grace. I totally missed the Great Schism and still have no clue what happened. I am more of a lurker than a poster, but time online is always limited.

I don't know the story of the Great Schism either. Can someone tell us, please?

I know we lost some great posters - CaroleBristol, Gracenote, Clare888/bibberty.

Chiz.

It was about nine million years ago so my recollection would certainly be open to correction, but there was a feminism thread which attracted the devoted attention of some trolls. The mods weren't especially proactive and one, I think, was accused of involvement. After some months of conflict, bannings etc, some of the regular posters decided they could no longer discuss feminist issues and were angry about a lack of mod and community support to do so, so they left.

That sounds depressingly familiar, Stephanie. It's pretty much what happened with us.

It’s slightly different imo, because that schism was caused by indifference to/lack of taking seriously of feminist perspectives. This was driven by active hostility, contempt and a desire to eliminate certain views. I don’t recall people cheering before. Now they are quite open about it.

Lately I’ve been thinking about quitting forums altogether. After what happened over there and from some of the pile-ons of vitriol and nastiness I’ve seen on mumsnet threads recently, I’m left feeling depressed about people in general which is not a healthy place to be. I think I might be happier in ignorance of the unpleasantness that goes with the safety of hiding behind a keyboard.

And I don’t care if I come across as over sensitive when I say that some of the unwelcoming posts on the sex-based rights thread yesterday genuinely left me feeling quite upset.

With a fair old bit of indifference and unseriousness as well of course. Just the added dimension of demonisation and “driving out”.

Yes, one of the mods joined in that time. But the owner of the board going on the attack takes this to another level.

I get you, Cyan - but do stay, most people on here aren't nasty. There are so many incredible, intelligent, thoughtful, articulate women on FWR. And as Bint says, a small number of suspicious posts (while dismaying) are a whole different level compared to the actual site-owner demanding that the other users hound us out (and them obliging).

And I don’t care if I come across as over sensitive when I say that some of the unwelcoming posts on the sex-based rights thread yesterday genuinely left me feeling quite upset.

That’s perfectly natural. You must do what is best for you. But it would be good to see you here now and then.

Although I was quite uncomfortable at first with the comments on the SBR thread, I think that with many more posters here group dynamics are a lot more complex. Inevitably more people=more arses. We probably appear like arses to some posters. And although it’s a platitude, you really can’t please everyone so talking about myself only, I need to toughen up and move on.

If I recall, it was all triggered by discussion of Nigella Lawson being publicly assaulted by Charles Saatchi, there were a bunch of trolls who insisted on, repeatedly and tediously, making the point that men could be the victims of domestic violence as well (ignoring the numbers and often very different outcomes). One mod made a particularly crass comment which was the straw that broke the camel's back.

Not JTT's finest hour but there's always been an underlying, if not acceptance then tolerance of misogyny on JTT. After all one poster just got a week on the naughty step for telling a female poster she "needed a good hard shag", that really should have been a life ban but he was let off, I suspect, because he was seen as an otherwise sound left winger. There's a couple of others who really do seem to reserve all their vitriol for female posters as well.

All very true @Kucinghitam @Winterborne74, I think I also need to be more selective about the threads I click on.

because he was seen as an otherwise sound left winger

Ah yes… as has clearly been demonstrated, the two positions cannot possibly go hand in hand at all 🧐

Will there be another SBR thread (by another name)?

It'd be nice to have one, but maybe in a neglected corner of the world where few go? Might ruffle fewer feathers.

I think feathers aren't so relevant...

Re misogyny on JTT, I used to hate that 'DPM' thing in the celebrity thread, and was amazed that some of the women joined in with it.

Thanks for explaining about the Great Schism. I think the men on It doesn't surprise me at all to read about how men were jumping into say that men can be victims of DV as well. (Just not in the same quantity as women.)

Playing devil's advocate, with regard to the objections on SBR yesterday, I guess that some of them feel our group is taking over that thread, and dominating. I can understand their feelings. Probably best for JtT stuff to be discussed here, where it's obvious.

edit: men on JtT.

What is DPM?

Downstairs Pong Merchant. Normally applied to men I think, but not the loveliest phrase.

Yikes. That was not what I imagined DPM to mean.

Filth!

I'd like to carry on with another SBR thread. I believe under MN rules it does have to go in that folder, so we'd need to have a think about the title.

Please do stay, Cyan. (Maybe stick to this thread for a bit? I think we're all feeling a bit raw at the moment, so I completely understand your feelings about the turn the other thread took.)

Is there a football thread?

Allez Les Bleus!

Try in www.mumsnet.com/talk/sports Tas.