slapped DS. can’t live with ,myself.

[Rockmehardplace]

my ds is only 6 and has additional needs. he is an adorable little boy but some behaviours can be challenging. i had quite an abusive childhood, experienced/witnessed lots of violence and always swore DS would never have this. i’ve never so much as raised my voice to him (told him off sternly a few times but always calmly, in a low voice).
tonight he was over tired, screaming to come back downstairs even though he was over tired. i took him into my bed to try and settle him. i’ve just had a major op so not at my best. he continued to scream (not cry) and was lashing out and his hand caught my right across my face. before i even thought about it, i took his hand and slapped it.
i hate myself. i always tell him hands are not for hitting. you dont hit someone to teach them not to hit. you dont retaliate against a small child. he was disregulated and just expressing his tiredness/feelings. i literally hate myself.
he settled very soon afterwards and i cuddled him to sleep. how do i move forward from this? i feel like ive crossed a line i always swore i would never do.

Breathe and take some time to evaluate.
You slapped his hand when he was lashing out at you.
You seem at breaking point.
Apologise to your son and forgive yourself. We all have days we are awful and run down and can't cope

You slapped his wrist. It's not great but it's not the end of the world. You're not perfect.

She slapped his hand not his face. It's not correct but it's not the same as hitting him somewhere else.
She has had a major op and is struggling and clearly feels the shame or she wouldn't have posted on here.
Have some empathy

You sapped his hand when he was being uncontrollable and had caught your face. Sounds like it was effective as he calmed down and settled down to sleep.

I highly doubt he will even remember it so please don’t dwell on it.

It's okay. You are not at your strongest just now and what you did was an automatic reaction. When the time is right sit down with him and tell him you are sorry. Tell him that you feel.poorly and tired after your operation. You were both tired and struggling a little etc. It honestly won't do any long term damage to your relationship provided it is suitably discussed between you both.

It doesn’t matter what part of his body she slapped!
A slap is a slap. The child has additional needs. She should of left the room if she couldn’t cope.

What's also disgusting is coming on here and kicking someone in the teeth, right at the point they need anything but.

OP, I hope you are ok, especially after your operation. What has happened isn't ok but ultimately there is no lasting harm done in the context of a safe and loving relationship. Try get some rest tonight, whatever it takes. Tomorrow is a new day. Is there anyone you can ask to come and give you a hand whilst you are recovering?

yes i know this. this is exactly how i feel.

im on my own with him, i have a broken sternum, i can barely move, i initially grabbed his hand to stop him hitting me again and i slapped it while saying hitting hurts. i cannot hate myself any more than i do now.

You are the end of your tether OP. Sending you hugs.

Freakyfrie? Shut up.

@FreakyFrie not helpful at all.

OP I hope you’re okay. Have a discussion with your son tomorrow and explain that what you done is not okay and that you’re sorry.

it sounds more like a instinct reaction and you clearly feel terrible about it and this will help you in further stressful situations. We all have awful days and no body is perfect.

You love your child. You did not beat him up. You were at end of tether and smacked his hand. He settled down afterwards, was not traumatised by what happened. There is literally no harm done. Can you not see that a smack on the hand after very poor behaviour is different to a child growing up in a house where they are beaten and neglected on a daily basis.
You have cuddled him and shown him how much you love him so just let this go and do not beat yourself up any further about it.

It’s not kicking someone in the teeth. It’s reality. It’s not ok. Yet here you have constant posters telling her it doesn’t matter because it’s a slap on the wrist.

I don’t agree and I’m allowed to voice my opinion. Maybe someone telling her it’s not ok will help her not to do it again, instead of having posters telling her it’s ok and it helped him settle down! Ridiculous.

take a breath. Tomorrow, apologise to him and give him a big hug. Ignore the horrid person on here. Tomorrow is a new day.

You’ll be ok because you know what you did wasn’t the right approach. People who are physically abusive usually don’t have your insight.

You show him love. You care for him. You made a snap judgement in error and you see that it was wrong. The love and care will be far more memorable to him, and important in shaping him, than one error.

If anyone questions you about it (which they might, if he disclosed to an adult eg. at school), be honest and say what happened and how you feel remorseful.

@FreakyFrie I know, it's horrible to read and in a ideal world we would react the same way and walk out.
The OP has had surgery and he was screaming and wouldn't stop, you are not yourself when in a lot of pain.
She lost her temper and lashed out, it happens it's human.

No I won’t when someone posts how they just slapped their child and you just have people saying it’s ok.

What a dreadful response to a mother at the end of her tether saying she hates herself, you should be ashamed of yourself for putting the boot in, just awful of you.

Hugs OP xx

😯

@FreakyFrie I'm not going to quote your post as it’s so obviously not genuine and is intended to cause distress. I’ve reported it.

@Rockmehardplace have you got any real life support? I’d there someone you can ask for help. This feels difficult because managing a small child with additional needs while unwell and in pain yourself is beyond difficult. It’s not you, anyone would find this difficult.

Please be kind to yourself
A broken sternum sounds excruciating.
You reacted out of character in what sounds like a really difficult circumstance.
We all make mistakes and do things we regret as parents.
Your boy knows you love him.
Take care of yourself snd get some sleep.

FreakyFrie she already knows it's not ok and that's why she's created a post. OP I gasped when I read your title as I thought you meant across the face. Slapping his hand was a short sharp shock. It's obviously not recommend but you didn't do it to hurt him and you haven't hurt him. You're exhausted and in pain and you snapped. Please don't beat yourself up about this, instead use it to evaluate what you can change tomorrow to make everyone's day a little calmer and happier.

@FreakyFrie
odfod

Op that sounds hard, do you have a friend who can help you care for him tomorrow? it sounds like an awful situation.

Obviously you know it was wrong so apologise, tell him it was wrong and you’ll never do it again.