Revenge secret Santa for the office b£#@!

[Surewhyknot]

I'm looking for the worst, most subtle insulting secret Santa gift for the office stirrer.. limit is £10 and we're opening them in person.

I'm torn between a pair of secondhand socks or a homemade loo roll cozy al la your grandma!

What are the worst you've had? Can I cast insult without being too overt??

Is the present for yourself? You sound vile.

@phishy

I think people are being pious and twatty on this thread, OP did say she was looking for the 'most subtle' ideas so this was never going to be a nasty joke gift.

The op asked for subtle and oh so clever and hilarious ways to bully her co-worker. It's so low. It says a lot about you that you find not being a vengeful colleague is being pious. Bullies never really think that they are bullies.

@Gumreduction nothing to say to the people calling OP bitchy and vile then? Righty-o.

AS is useful.
This particular poster seems to think her role on MN is to fire personal attacks and "twatty" comments at anyone who disagrees with her.

No she didn't ask ask for ways to bully someone. Why be a liar?

And if you think people calling OP bitchy and vile on this thread are good people then you're deluded.

A few years ago I got a woman who I really didn't like for secret Santa. She had been borderline bullying me for the majority of the year. I just got her a bottle of wine and some chocolates 🤷‍♀️. I could've been awful to her, it was a huge team and nobody knew who had who, but I couldn't do that to someone.

We aren't calling her (and others) something they haven't clearly demonstrated being.

Any examples? Or have you come to bully people on a thread like hundreds of others?

I got the generic wine and chocs one year (I was perfectly happy with this) Found out later that the person who had drawn me had gone off sick that day and the organiser had a mad rush to sort "something" for me, which was very nice of them.

OP, if you do go down the route of an offensive or unkind gift, be aware that it is likely to backfire and you will thoroughly deserve it.

One of my friends, who is lovely, was bemused to get an anal vibrator in her office Secret Santa (by the way, I'm not recommending that you follow this idea)

As I said, an AS of your username is useful.
I have reported a couple of your more abusive comments on other threads now.

As suspected, zero examples.

You're just relying on people's inertia to turn the pitchforks on to me because OP isn't here.

Such KIND behaviour.

It's like some kind of eternal puzzle no?

The OP says something posters think is morally wrong so use insults to express that.

In turn, those insults are seen (by others) as morally wrong so insults are then used to express that.

And round and round we go.

Christ, how old are you op, 12?
Honestly, that's what everyone needs Xmas insulting gifts, merry Christmas and spread the kindness.🥴

Oh god. Why would anyone do that?

Bitchy people create bitchy children. There is nothing pious and twatty about treating people respectfully.

Some of the above posts are just so sad. Rude, insensitive and downright cruel.

One year I was given mugs in SS. Still furious about it many years after. 1 mug I would have loved. 2 mugs is a pair, 4 mugs a set. 3 cups is nothing. It's insulting. I never used them and ended up smashing them because I hated them and what they represented so much.

I don't do SS any more but people who work with me give me lovely random gifts. I've got a few mugs that live on my desk and a gorgeous card one of my team gave me nearly a decade ago. It's not hard to think of small things people might like.

I received an awful gift 12 years ago. It was my first ss and the got me a bottle of blue nun. Vile

Ar our workplace someone received forrero rochers - except they weren't chocolates, they were brussel sprouts wrapped in the wrappers.

Am I being thick? What’s so bad about mugs?

I think you might be the office bitch. Why waste your time and energy on this?

Tell that to my sister-in-law.

I took the high-road and never retaliated, though I was often tempted. The fact that it would show her her shots had gone home and she'd succeeded in pissing me off was enough of an incentive not to. I can't abide passive aggression.

BUT ...

At around the time we stopped buying gifts, I was sorely tempted by a bar of Lady Macbeth's Guest Soap, complete with mock-blood on the wrapper and the caption 'out, damned spot!'

In which case, someone had gone to a lot of effort to make their point. A better way would have been direct discussion, the way adults tend to communicate.

Hurt people hurt people. If anyone did that to me, I'd just feel sorry for them.

Is it possible that they bought the mugs individually, NormalNans, and just got as many as they could within budget?

Sorry, that wasn't actually a question for you NormalNans!!