Revenge secret Santa for the office b£#@!

[Surewhyknot]

I'm looking for the worst, most subtle insulting secret Santa gift for the office stirrer.. limit is £10 and we're opening them in person.

I'm torn between a pair of secondhand socks or a homemade loo roll cozy al la your grandma!

What are the worst you've had? Can I cast insult without being too overt??

Not only is that about as far from the Xmas spirit as you can get, it will back fire because you’re going to look like the mean bully by doing something so immature and nasty.

Why? Raise people up rather than pulling yourself down. Get them a nice book, a lovely mug etc

If you’re really struggle to behave decently over this one then swap out yours for someone else. I swapped with a colleague who claimed they couldn’t buy anything ‘nice’ for another colleague because of his feelings towards them.
Don’t be the person who ended up in from of the Director and HR at one of my companies over their ‘funny’ secrete Santa choice.

"Halstead · Yesterday 21:53
Someone classy once said ‘when they go low, we go high’"

I remember this - amazing how gracious and lovely some people are. Be THAT person @Surewhyknot

Are you sure YOU are the office ‘b£#@!’
??

Agree with pps who say go high, be nice.
you don’t know what they are going through, have been through to make them awful.
everybody needs to feel loved and acknowledged.
can yo not chat to her and sort it out instead?

Agree with others saying don't try and score any points.

It just isn't nice. Be the better person.

I like this.

Integrity and dignity win every time. A really simple and satisfying way to go about life.

Horrible post

I just felt really awful that someone could humiliate a colleague like that. Really bad breath is often caused by dental issues. Not everyone can afford to get them sorted. Not sure why you find it funny

Why buy yourself something shit?

Just get yourself whatever you want, surely?

This thread reminds me why I can no longer go out to work - I got similar treatment to @NeverDropYourMooncup and was devastated by Secret Santa. Going to work every day to a place where your colleagues don't like you and don't mind letting you know it is utterly soul destroying.

Don't use Secret Santa like this, if you can't bring yourself to buy something inoffensive then don't participate.

I’ve had someone I’m sure didn’t want to give me a gift give me something decent but with the box slightly bashed and the card a bit crumpled with just their name written in rushed manner. They’ve done that twice. However I would be a better person.

A decorative wooden spoon.

My mum has a large one she bought somewhere that literally has something similar to "massive stirrer" on it.

Says more about you than her! Please don't do it. Suggest you deal with the problems she's causing in an open assertive way, not in a sneaky, childish way.

Either don't participate in the secret Santa or take part in the spirit it is intended to be - fun. Don't try to belittle and humiliate someone you don't like.

Just get a generic gift of chocolates/body wash sets etc.

Giving something to deliberately humiliate someone just makes you nasty and is inviting a whole lot of trouble for you at work.

Nasty mumsnetters, like those evidenced on this thread, breed nasty children - and so the cycle continues

I wonder if the person organising SS decided to pair up the office bitches...

Jar of chocolate sprouts - but carefully unwrap and replace with real ones before wrapping

www.harveynichols.com/brand/candyhouse-/3149835-milk-chocolate-brussels-sprouts-jar-200g/p3719654/?source=shoppingads&gclid=Cj0KCQiAsdKbBhDHARIsANJ6-jcPvHXQfTI87jbjnJKxl3M9SgfPrnJR8m17ci8QM4mrVuu6K4GuePQaAmvTEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

I think people are being pious and twatty on this thread, OP did say she was looking for the 'most subtle' ideas so this was never going to be a nasty joke gift.

Get off your high horses keyboard warriors, I bet you're a thousand times worse than OP in real life.

I'm currently being bullied by an EDI lead ironically.

If I got her in the secret santa, I would buy something nice in good faith even though I personally finding her behaviour challenging and manipulative.

The appropriate way to deal with workplace bullying is through the proper channels if you have a functioning company and if you don't, I would be putting my focus on finding another job or my life outside work. You sound rather unpleasant and petty. I hope you're just venting steam here rather than actually looking to do this.

It’s some of the suggestions that are awful

but i suppose it’s what you view as awful and bitchy and what you view as funny

I also think this is a bad idea
I once had this but the other way round - in all innocence I bought someone I didn’t know very well a lovely soap which had a cow on the packaging (probably because it had milk in it or something) and she had a massive strop when she opened it “Oh my God! Someone thinks I’m a dirty cow!” It had never crossed my mind anyone could think that. I had to tell her it was me in the end and that I had thought it was a lovely gift (I was young, it was my first job) to calm her down

That's horrible. If you don't like her, then just get a generic present like a box of chocolates. Please don't be a bully.

But given you describe people On this thread as “twatty” - it says which side you fall on