Revenge secret Santa for the office b£#@!

[Surewhyknot]

I'm looking for the worst, most subtle insulting secret Santa gift for the office stirrer.. limit is £10 and we're opening them in person.

I'm torn between a pair of secondhand socks or a homemade loo roll cozy al la your grandma!

What are the worst you've had? Can I cast insult without being too overt??

I used to work with a woman who could be a bit bitchy, and for SS one year someone gifted her a witch’s broomstick, like the kind you’d buy for a Halloween outfit.

I can still vividly remember the hurt on her face when she opened it. It was so awful to witness.

If you have an issue with someone in your workplace deal with it in an adult professional manner. Can’t believe people are seriously suggesting things like Femfresh and Slimfast.

Yet plenty of people are offended by them HENSE them being suggested here as the 'safe' 'I dont like you' gift, popping up on every single 'hated gift' thread and as PP said when she gifted some her secret santa cried 'someone thinks Im a smelly cow'.

A bath is hardly luxuary... most people dont even like strewing in their own dirty water, everyone I know bar little kids showers and its even quite common now for houses not even to have baths so how is it a 'safe' gift when the person might not even have a bath.

I would say I have far more use for toothpaste than a bath bomb.

Well, get you.

Meanwhile in the actual world, it's quite a standard thing to enjoy a washing experience and use products to make it more pleasurable...scented stuff, lathery stuff, whatever. It's marketed that way because a lot of people like it. Even if you get bath stuff and don't have a bath, it can still be used like normal soap. It's just a bit runnier.

If you would truly rather be given a tube of Colgate in the office SS, then announce it to the office when you do the draw and I'm sure your Santa will comply. But taking personal offence because Brett from IT who doesn't know you very well bought you a toiletries gift set is ridiculous. Just use the stuff.

One of those dove sets in the plain white and blue box. Squish the box a bit make it look battered. Perhaps open it and then reseal it with sellotape badly. Wrap it in cheap shit kids wrap. Use loads of paper and make it look a bag of shit. Place a bow on top.

Along with 'only joking.' I had a senior nmanager who was very fond of that one.

We refer to that as Schrodinger's joke. See the person's reaction, then decide if it's a joke.

Fucking tiresome. And ironically very unfunny.

I think this is nasty. Be an adult, try and overlook her bad points and buy her something nice. Do you really want someone to feel sad over Christmas because you want to be a bully, which this is, however much of a stirrer she may be. It puts you in a bad light and will be remembered, possibly by your bosses.

My name got pulled out by one of the ‘mean girls’ in the office - I was very introverted, kept to myself, and was very publicly struggling with depression and self harm after being raped - everyone in the office was aware I was struggling mentally, manager was even funding my therapy.

In front of the whole office I unwrapped my gift…a mug…with a massive penis inside it.

Such a witty and funny gift 🤨

You don’t know what is going on in this person’s life. Don’t set out to publicly humiliate someone. It’s a vile thing to do.

Rinoachicken 😔 💐

Have the people saying Bayliss and Harding are crap actually used any? I got given a set from SIL and expected it to be rubbish.

I stayed in a holiday cottage that had some of the handwashes and lotion dotted around in the bathrooms. The handwash, at least, was lovely. I much preferred it to Molten Brown. That stuff smells overpowering and is hard to wash off, leaving an oily, sticky residue on your skin.

I've occasionally bought it for the house since.

The beauty of Wombats post followed directly by Rabbits post is like perfect moment of irony.

Is it?

Well that's completely fucked up. What are some people thinking? I'm sorry you had to go through that.

Well that's completely fucked up. What are some people thinking? I'm sorry you had to go through that.

I agree it’s fucked up. I think turning something that should be a really nice thing like opening a gift (never mind a Christmas gift!) into something embarrassing and hurtful is really low. You need to be a bit fucked up to do that to someone.

I got all of the below gifts from my in laws one Christmas 🙈

a box of chocolates that had been opened and cello taped shut (some missing)🙈

a pair of PJs THREE sizes too big

a pair of stockings (nope I have no idea either) with black permanent marker through the barcode like they were knock offs 😂

and….. some anti ageing moisturiser (I was 23).

if the above selection doesn’t scream that someone doesn’t like you I don’t know what does! 🙃😂

There are gifts which are not gifts but a donation to charity, who spend it on a designated item. Showing the person you think of others and are kind, unlike them it seems.

onlineshop.oxfam.org.uk/unwrapped/category/oxfam-unwrapped

Example and other charities do similar. You might like the bog standards one.

Do not do unto others what others don't do unto you
Would you like to be humiliated OP ?

Read the room

Or at least RTFT

That's so horrible ☹️ I'm so sorry that happened to you, and what a vile person to even think that was an appropriate gift

Perhaps a lot of people just shouldn't join in SS. If you can't buy a nice small present to give with goodwill, or if you find bath products offensive, then it isn't for you. It isn't supposed to be such a headache. It's just supposed to be a way of spreading a little workplace goodwill.

I come from a very toxic,narcissistic family where I’m not just the only female of four,I’m also the scapegoat

they would (and still do) tell anyone who will listen that I’m a slag who will fuck anything that moves-it’s not true but in their twisted heads,it is

anyway,we did ss one year and my brother bought me a cheap peep-hole bra (3 sizes too big) and a pair of grotty,cheap,nasty,second hand crotchless knickers in a size 6/8-I’m a side 14 (both in the most foul red I’ve ever seen)

they thought it was piss funny-I didn’t-they might as well have put a sign on my back saying ‘this fat bitch will fuck owt that wears trousers and moves’

i went nc and to this day,will not take part in any ss (oh,and I was ‘ungrateful’ and ‘selfish’ for A.not laughing along and B.binning both items)

This - @tigger1001 is right - how apalling for you @Rinoachicken. I hope things have improved for you or at least you have nicer colleagues now.

Speechless! NC sounds like the best option from vile people like that, good for you @Theyorkshirelass