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Does anyone else late 50s feel so nostalgic, and like life is running away from them

210 replies

lipstickwoman · 11/11/2022 22:43

Im trying not to be too gloomy here. I've had several bereavements in the last few years, which have really made me realise how short life it. I find myself increasing nostalgic and aware how fragile life is

What do you do to put these feelings aside and live life to the full?

OP posts:
rumred · 18/11/2022 11:13

Thanks for this thread @lipstickwoman
I'm 57 and have no close family. Cancer and massive anxiety have scuppered my earning ability, I worked in social care nearly 3 decades and had to give it up entirely 5 years ago as it was killing me.
I'm having therapy thankfully but my god it's hard work. My childhood was grim and I'd avoided thinking about it, until quite recently.
I miss lots of lovely people. And wish I'd been more mature when a few died, wish I knew then what I know now.
Changing your perspective is I think harder as you age. I'm a bit nihilistic these days but I work hard to enjoy life and give back to my community.
I struggle with lack of direction and aims. Again, I'm working on it and I will get there...
Thanks to all the kind and thoughtful posters, it does help

SaltyCrisp · 18/11/2022 20:31

trying to live in the wholeness of my life- past, present and future

Beautifully phrased 🌹

lipstickwoman · 18/11/2022 20:41

SaltyCrisp · 18/11/2022 20:31

trying to live in the wholeness of my life- past, present and future

Beautifully phrased 🌹

I agree. Lovely words

OP posts:
Morestrangethings · 18/11/2022 20:52

Eleusa

“I can feel that other day running underneath this one
like an old videotape….”

Thats a really strong image, and says more clearly than I could express, how I feel..

myoldtoe · 18/11/2022 21:28

trying to live in the wholeness of my life- past, present and future

This is a powerful statement.

So true, and to to give respect to everyone's time here on earth, no matter their age, their health or possition. Our memories, past experiences and life should not be forgotten or muted, looking back doesn't harm anyone.
If some are less advantaged it makes them no less important in my eyes than some who are advantaged in different areas, I see it in some of the virtue signalling of stop being miserable or morose, look forward and forget, get out there and stop whinning, where sometimes this is not possible.
Conversation shut down by flippant comments that crush, I in later years enjoy debate, listening to people who have more sense than I, debates on independant thought.

If someone who is old, infirm or broken by events of the past it does not to me mean they are less than, they just become more interesting, I do think society tries to shut down the older generation especially women from talking.

I treat everyone the same, always have done, no one is better than another, we are but stardust, I love the insignificance of us as humans as I gaze up to the stars, we will return to dust so our time here on earth should not be dictated by how we should think and act, so long as we do not hurt others. Our memories are as important as we care to make them, we live and let live, we are only restricted by societies expectations of what we should do and how we sould be thinking.

Do and feel what makes you happy, at our age we deserve to be indulgent.

myoldtoe · 18/11/2022 22:02

@NooNooHead1981

I'm sorry to hear of your illnness those pharmaceuticals can leave devastating effects, I do hope your health can improve, and hope you can still hope, I know for some they cannot, the very bravest of people.

Friends can be lacking in understanding, given time they too may change their outlook and it will be their burden to unravel that.

So many stories on here, so interesting and poignant, we should be encouraged to reveal and preseve these life stories for younger generations to learn from (that's the historian in me) when for them the time is right, I know for a fact I would have loved to have known about previous generations and their apparently 'normal' lives, not just the victories in life but the hardships aswell.

lollipoprainbow · 19/11/2022 08:23

I can't think of anything more depressing than having to continue to work

Not everyone has a choice !!

lljkk · 19/11/2022 08:50

Ted27 · 18/11/2022 10:13

@lljkk
Really - is there nothing else you would rather be doing?

I can't think of anything more depressing than having to continue to work

I am grateful that I have a job I like. It's not uncommon for people in my field to work into their 70s. My dad (different field) only stopped work in last 6 months because he was forced out at 79. My mom (different job again) died suddenly mid 60s, but expected to work until her dying day (she did). She didn't love her job but she was used to it.

It is true I'm busy. Volunteering, parenting, travel, pets, parenting, baking, errands, house, garden, exercise, travel. I can tolerate boredom & tedium better now, but do struggle with those. My dad is juggling boredom now.

has anyone read NomadLand? Retirement is only nice if you have enough money.

Ted27 · 19/11/2022 12:14

@lljkk

Life is only nice really if you have enough money.
I havent read but have seen the movie Nomadsland.There is a lot of space between destitution and rich.
I have a pension I can take at 60, Its worth £8k, not quite swanning off on luxury cruise levels. I will need to work to some level till my second pension kicks is - about £5k, still not exactly luxury cruise levels.
Good for me that the idea of luxury cruises is my idea of hell.
I have no intention of having a boring, tedious life when I retire. There is plenty of free stuff out there to do.
I will be quite happy doing a few hours a days down the allotment, a hour at the gym, I will continue to do my volunteered jobs, maybe there will be grandchildren, there will be enough for a week or two in Wales and Cornwall.
There is really no need to be bored- health and fitness is the important thing.
Not everyone has jobs that they enjoy, mine is boring and tedious.
Many people will not be physically able to work.
My grandad died at 72 after he fell off a roof he was working on with my uncle. He shouldn't have been up on a roof at 72. Except for some misguided notion that he should be working.

Mary46 · 19/11/2022 16:20

Echt so sorry for your loss. Life is hard for people. My sil was widowed before 50.

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