Has anyone tried the "£5 in a card" thing for DC's birthday party?

[astronewt]

8th birthday party approaches for DC, and I was thinking about messaging the attendees to suggest that, instead of presents, they could do £5 or an Amazon voucher or whatever in a card. I normally spend about £10-12 on a present for a party we're invited to, which seems to be about what other attendees spend too, so to my mind it would have the triple benefit of easing financial challenges on attendees, preventing piles of cheap tat, and allowing DC to choose one larger toy they like. Rest assured I will also make it clear that any gift at all is 100% optional.

I'm sure MN will have Opinions on the matter, though, so hit me up. Have you tried it? Would you try it? Did you just mentally cross me off your Christmas card list and clutch the pearls?

I've been asked for no boxed gifts. The family were moving house so they kind of had a reason/excuse for that.

lots of people not keen on the cash idea but I’m totally with the OP that something has to be done about the piles and piles of crap that get amassed surrounding all kids parties. Between party bags and toys you don’t want it’s way too much. How to end the gift culture?! In 2022 with the financial and environmental impact of everything we need to be a bit more intentional about these things… but how??

I'd say something along the lines of 'no presents please'
If people follow up with a question about presents you could suggest money or a voucher.

It'd be rude to ask for money, but since you're happy to use the phrase "beyond the pale" it's possible you don't really care if you offend people.

As a parent I would be very happy with this. Makes it very easy for the attendees.

As a child, I liked the surprise and excitement of opening the presents.

I wouldn't ever ask for money or vouchers. I agree with a pp that it's offensive to suggest that their presents would be tat. I often buy good quality, nice prents in sales and keep them in.

I wouldn't want to give money/a voucher because I don't like the idea that it gets grouped together and spent. It's not personal enough for me. I would like to know who chose what and thank them accordingly.

I'd love it.

I think it’s fine to say DC is saving up for (whatever gift) so if you’d like to bring a gift and are stuck for ideas, a small contribution to this would be very much appreciated.

Then if people have a present already they can bring it, if not then it’s an easier option to just put money in a card.

If I’m going to a party, I’ll always bring a gift. So giving a list of ideas saves me time and I know it’s not wasteful either.

It makes me sad to think of an 8 yo not having a pile of presents to unwrap from their party.
I know I need to move with the times, and I'm just stuck in my ways, but gosh....the thrill and excitement of it all, I can remember it now.
And I think it teaches children graciousness, manners and all the other rules of etiquette surrounding gift giving/receiving. Likewise for the guests - the process of picking out a gift for their friend, wrapping it and learning the joy of giving.

Going with my child to choose a gift for a party was all part of the fun. I guess we're all so busy now that it's too much bother.

I've always just put a tenner in a card. Most kids prefer it. Rather than a recycled shit present.

No way. It sounds really rude and greedy. If my dc received that invite, I would definitely think that of the parents of the child.

When my youngest was 5, 23 years ago, the going rate was £5 in a card or up to about £10 for a present it is interesting to see there has been zero inflation with party gifts in all this time !

Great idea, saves time looking for presents

I've always done this.. short message "€5 is more than enough"
I don't understand the grabby and rude comments.. surely birthday parties are actually grabby and rude in that case as a present is usually expected

I think it's rude to do this.

Id love this to be the norm.

Did you just mentally cross me off your Christmas card list and clutch the pearls?

Yep

@Dotjones I’m not following - could you explain?

I very rarely have cash anymore. But I’m with you, OP, my kids don’t want or need anything to add to the tat mountain. The trouble is, trying to change other peoples’ minds for them is never received well. We need it to become trendy not to give physical presents!

Sounds like an excellent idea to me. I hate racking my brains for a present, spend more than £5, so a nice voucher and card would be a godsend to me. If it's asked for it's a perfect solution all round.

I hate being asked for cash gifts! To me, the whole point of gifts is that you think about someone, you choose something they will like (however boring that may be for the parent taking the child shopping), it’s all about the gesture.
If you don’t want a physical gift, better to insist on no gifts than ask for cash. If people then volunteer some cash that’s up to them.
But I truly think it’s rude to say I don’t think you will give me anything I will like so give me money to spend on myself, which is basically the message.
Plus, this seems all about what you think, what does your child want? All of the kids I’ve ever known love opening presents!

This is just standard at my DC school. Between £3-£5 in a card at parties. That or a bag of sweets. It's really simple!

As to a cupboard full of gifts? Wtf?

I think it's fine if worded properly. Although I NEVER have cash so I'd have to actually go and get a £5 note which might be a hassle.

Something like this sounds okay I think. Would be so much better if this did become more the norm so one bigger nice present can be bought rather than lots of cheap tat.