Has anyone tried the "£5 in a card" thing for DC's birthday party?

[astronewt]

8th birthday party approaches for DC, and I was thinking about messaging the attendees to suggest that, instead of presents, they could do £5 or an Amazon voucher or whatever in a card. I normally spend about £10-12 on a present for a party we're invited to, which seems to be about what other attendees spend too, so to my mind it would have the triple benefit of easing financial challenges on attendees, preventing piles of cheap tat, and allowing DC to choose one larger toy they like. Rest assured I will also make it clear that any gift at all is 100% optional.

I'm sure MN will have Opinions on the matter, though, so hit me up. Have you tried it? Would you try it? Did you just mentally cross me off your Christmas card list and clutch the pearls?

I see the benefits but asking for money feels so cheeky. It's the same at weddings when people say they are not bothered about receiving anything but want cash. If your not bothered and theres no expectations then you wouldn't ask for anything.

I know it's not in the norm present giving for parties, however I would be thinking this is much better for the planet. Less wrapping less plastic and no waste

How about

"While your presence at DC's party is all that is wanted, if you are stuck for a gift, DC is saving up for X and a contribution of no more than £5 would be very much appreciated."

Then you're covering people not bringing gifts, people bringing physical gifts and people bringing money.

Honestly, I really don't see the problem with this. If people want to dive into their cupboard of pre-bought presents then that's fine but that really shows very little thought to the recipient IMO.

As an autistic person I LOVE it when people are transparent about what they actually want. It eliminates a lot of guessing and makes social interactions far easier. I'd be very happy if someone told me that £5 in a card was the preferred option.

I would have welcomed it when my DC were younger. It would have saved me time and money.

After a few years I did start routinely giving a card with a tenner in it. £5 is not a lot, hard to think of presents that would cost much less.

However, this thread shows that quite a few people would be put off. So i think you have to grin and bear it.

Funny, how for some money preference is cheeky and grabby, while regifting random nonsense from stash in a cupboard is highly moral :)))

If your local group manage to switch to it, everyone will be happier.

How about discussing climate change with DC and looking at all the stuff they already have and getting them to think about:

Having no gifts
Giving gifts to charity (and telling people you are doing this)

With the advent of big class parties the whole gift and party bag thing is completely out of hand imo and so wasteful.

Also it's quite hard to get hold of a £5 note these days

I would love it if parents did this.

To be honest, I have just started doing £10 in a card because I can't be arsed to rummage around for shite that I can't guarantee they will like. For 'best' friends, I will spend a little more and do a present, but I am more likely to know what the child is into and would like as a gift.

When someone asked me recently what my youngest would like as a present, I said 'oh just bung a fiver in a card, that would be perfect', and they gave them a £15 voucher (they would genuinely have been chuffed with a.fiver and it would have meant we didn't have to go to a specific shop to spend it!).

No but it does imply the gifts are unwanted if they aren't cash

Many people regift stuff for children b’day parties. Usually for cost reasons.
And some people will not have £5 spare atm.

Just mention no gift needed if you dint want a pile of plastic crap at home.

If I'm told no gifts then I don't give any gift is that wrong? What a minefield

I have a present box so I wouldn’t appreciate being asked for money.

It’s also really rude.

It’s grabby. Better to just say don’t worry about bringing a present, then hopefully people will give money or vouchers instead. But it’s rude to ask for that.

I usually had a stash of presents or was buying presents very early so I would be annoyed at this. Also no gift would mean exactly this around here and no one would give a fiver instead. You should have mentioned this on the invite along the lines John is saving for Xbox and would appreciate something towards it. If the invites went out already I wouldn’t do anything now.

I can tell you that many if the gifts that my dcs got were regifted from previous parties that the child had. Plastic crap, unsuitable books etc…

I’ve sometimes wondered how many b’days some gifts have gone through

I never regifted for cost reasons.

I only did it because my kid wouldn’t of liked what was bought, we already had it or I thought the present was just tat.

I'd love it.

Haha glad it’s not just me who thought this- I’m super happy not to go shopping or spending £10-12 on a gift that may not be of interest, but I don’t tend to have cash.
maybe just put your paypal details in the card 😂 (joke of course!)

You can’t compare the two. One is asking for stuff, the other is giving stuff. If you ask for cash it looks like you’re saying - I don’t trust your taste, you’ll just give some crap, so let us have the cash instead. Rude.

Same 😂 we have a Yankee candle that keeps being regifted around the family too 😂 now it’s just for fun

A lot of people couldn't afford a fiver.
I think it sounds extremely rude and grabby.

What really stings is when your child is regifted something that you gave in the first place, a few months prior (hard stare at SIL).

I think that’s probably one if the best answers tbh.

It's pretty much the norm here to give and to get cash in a card ( my son is 10 and this has been the case for years now ). I've never known anyone put out a message asking for cash though, and don't think I'd do that myself if I'm honest ( unless close friends asked- and then I'd say cash is probably easier )