Has anyone tried the "£5 in a card" thing for DC's birthday party?

[astronewt]

8th birthday party approaches for DC, and I was thinking about messaging the attendees to suggest that, instead of presents, they could do £5 or an Amazon voucher or whatever in a card. I normally spend about £10-12 on a present for a party we're invited to, which seems to be about what other attendees spend too, so to my mind it would have the triple benefit of easing financial challenges on attendees, preventing piles of cheap tat, and allowing DC to choose one larger toy they like. Rest assured I will also make it clear that any gift at all is 100% optional.

I'm sure MN will have Opinions on the matter, though, so hit me up. Have you tried it? Would you try it? Did you just mentally cross me off your Christmas card list and clutch the pearls?

Probably because I’d never go to a 3 year olds birthday party and only give them £3! I’d be far too embarrassed.

@JennyJungle

That's great for you. I thought this was about primary age, but maybe I'm wrong.

I always gave a fiver for presents but I would have thought you a CF for asking for it!

It's supposed to be a gift, not a demand!

There was a big long thread last summer about terrible heatwave in the UK in line with the rest of the world. I think everyone agreed it was horrendous.

I really hope one day everyone will make the link between the extreme over consumptiom and dumping and all the extreme heat/ floods/ hunger in developing countries/ increased cost of living.

I do suspect that parents who think its lovely for kids to open 30 presents ready for the bin or it's "rude" to suggest to stop with this nonsense, are the first ones complaining about the above.

I think it's best to steer clear of suggesting vouchers too. It's increasingly hard to find them at under £10, sometimes even £15.

I've known people who do this. I prefer it. I wish everybody would! Makes life so much easier for me.

Surely there is a middle ground between cold hard cash and 'mountains of plastic tat'?

Consumable, recyclable or environmentally friendly gifts still give the birthday boy/girl something to open. Maltesers in a recyclable box, organic strawberry soap, books, rainforest-friendly wooden marble run/blocks/puzzle/puppet/Jenga-type game, Fair Trade t-shirt/hat, cinema voucher, grow your own flowers/veg.

A few years ago, sustainable products could seem rather dull and worthy, not so great as a gift. Times have changed though and there are plenty of likeable, useful, fun things out there.

Asking for an Amazon voucher (towards a bigger / long wanted gift) is acceptable just

Asking for money is not.

You can only get a physical Amazon voucher for £10+. You can email a smaller voucher or print one off if you have a printer etc, but it all creates work for no real benefit. I think the time when this was a more polite or considerate option has passed.

We’ve all been doing this for a while for my son who is 9. It’s way less than I would spend on a present so good for me and no faffing around and they can buy something they want! Cannot understand how it’s grabby. I think it’s the opposite!!

Nothing more environmentally unfriendly than having to keep buying stuff that people don’t want or need. Cash that can be put pearls something the child really wants makes much more sense than dozens of present that will end up being dumped. And I know this because I have 4 kids and the amount of stuff they got that was never used or barely used is heartbreaking.

Not rude at all, I’d be relieved. It’s also difficult to get something decent for £5 no matter what people think about themselves not gifting tat.

I think it is a great idea. Although I did have a box of presents, I still would be happy with the £5 in a cars. One year friends made the suggestion them selves and they all gave money, and my son bought the playmobile fire station. I think once they get to a certain age, kids have too much, and parents don't want to give more plastic crop or receive more plastic. But it is a tricky one. Some will like it and some won't. And it also slove the problem of duplicates or getting stuff they will never use. I think a lot pf parents will like it as it saves them going out to shop. Good luck with your decision.

Could maybe say no gifts expected, any odd pennies in a card would be more than enough.

I love this idea. I’d be thrilled if someone suggested sticking a fiver in a card instead of a gift. You never really know what a child likes and none of us really want a stack of endless presents after a party. It would be nice to contribute something to a gift a child actually wanted and save running about sorting a gift.

I wouldn't put no gifts. As I did this on my wedding card and people still didn't realise to put cash instead, so gave nothing at all, which is a joke to think you can attend an event and give nothing just because the invite says no gifts please. So I would recommend if you say no gifts, make it obvious to put cash only or something. Maybe something like no gifts if possible, cash or vouchers accepted. I'm not sure on the best wording, sorry. So if someone does re-use a gift, they still feel comfortable to do so and those who don't want to go out and buy a gift, will also feel comfortable to just put cash.

This is a bone of contention in our family. I am a Tom boy, mother in law. (or would be if I was married) always has to buy me something for Christmas. (a present) but I have long said to my partner of 17 years, can't she just either give me £10 a note or gift card would be good. As she never gets me anything I like, (pink wooly socks, when I hate pink and have dodgy feet, that itch like mad when too hot, so I cannot wear hot wooly socks.) but he says no, you cannot gift a gift card or money for Christmas. I don't know why. But he is changing his mind a bit, as his neice asked for money the other year, as she was saving up for something. So I see anything wrong with asking for cash or gift card. My son is older, but loves getting money, so he can put it all together, to buy what he wants.

Just put £5 in kids card for a bday party my child has just attended. For the simple reason I didn’t want to give tat. It was multiple children hosting (more than 2 kids party) otherwise would have give a bit more but honestly these days even the tat is getting expensive so would rather let the kid pick something with the cash they’ve been given .

with the current state of things, suggest a policy of no gifts, then it’s up to them if they wanted to give cash or a voucher. Asking for money is a bit ‘tone deaf’.

This! Definitely ☺️

A parent in my DD class age 6 started this at the last class party she had for her DS. I was delighted. A) not to have to go buy a present (am not one who buys in bulk to have at the ready!) B) to only spend a fiver on said present usually ends up costing a tenner+ & C) the precedent is set now so hope others follow & I'll do same in few months at DD next bday. There's 14 in the class so she brought her DS to shop to buy himself a big Lego thing he was after.
I must ask the Mum did she get any negative feedback on it.

Why would they think to give cash instead when you said no gifts?!🙄
No gifts means just that - not ‘give us a cash gift’.

If you want a cash gift, own it and write it and accept that anyone on your guest list that uses MN will be highly offended

In my culture this is know, common knowledge. The guests who didn't give anything are from a different background. I personally have been to other culture weddings and just know to give cash or give something, mentioned or not. It's common knowledge, surely. Birthdays, births, weddings, any celebration it SHOULD be common knowledge to gift the person on their celebration, physical gift or cash. The other reason people state no gifts, is because they do not want to lug around numerous items different shapes and sizes (due to space) and also don't want to double up on gifted items, or receive gifts they do not like (would rather buy their own items). So cash makes sense, to a normal person.

For goodness sake! All you need to send is a card and a book. No money is needed, kids absolutely love a wee book. Sorted!

I think £5 is fairly stingy tbh.
A nice actual present for a fiver is different as you’ve bothered to choose something but a five pound note is a bit sad for a party! People tend to spend around 10 a present here and it’s normally stationary,books, board games, a t shirt. So I would feel awful doing a fiver in a card!